Good Morning, Semi's and caregivers....

Just stopping in to say Good Morning!! Life is good.

*My brother is responding VERY WELL (according to our oncs) to his chemo (non-small cell lung cancer) and is doing better than they ever expected. That was something that made my day. I went and sat with him his first treatment which, of course, he was scared. I think we all were on our first treatment. You're walking into the unknown and you know they're pumping poison into you. Whenever I'm down toward his house, I drop in to see how he's doing. The last time I saw him, he had color back in his face. His lips were actually pink. He's not the gray, ghosty person he was back in September. YAY!! I think he's going to kick it's a$$.

My mother and I have been having conflict over him, but that's a whole new story I won't bore you with. Just know that I'm praying she finds some faith and hope for him. She's such a sad case. She never came to see me when I was going through chemo and only called maybe once every two weeks, so she really had no idea what I went through. She told me the other day she forgot I had cancer. I don't know how you forget something like that, but... I did have to tell her to get a better attitude where my brothers cancer was concerned.

I've come to the conclusion that we have very bad luck with cancer in my family. Even though my dad died of CRC, and my tumor has no genetic (Isn't that what Lynch syndrome tests?) quality, does that mean my dad's didn't? I think I need to ask my onc. I think my kids have the same chance of getting CRC as the next person. I'm still pushing for early scopes on my kids, but.... I could be misinformed, too. My thinking isn't all that clear, still. I don't have Lynch syndrome. So, somewhere, I have it in my head that my kids are not as susceptible to CRC as those offspring that do have LS. Does that make sense. Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong. Should it really matter? Guidelines need to be changed regarding scopes. The primary age should be dropped to 35-40, IMO.

*I'm off to buy one Christmas present today. I've turned into a coupon queen. I'm a coupon clipper and saver like no other. It's almost an obsession now how much $$$ I can save while shopping.

*Getting excited to go to Hawaii the first of December. If you recall, my daughter is paying for our trip to Hawaii. It's just Aubrey and I along with her best friend, Aubree and her mother. Just us four loose on island of Maui. Be afraid, people... be very afraid.

*Work is shaking it up. I thought I was going to have to start looking for a new job. If you're a nurse, you understand being "on call". Well, I hate being on call. When I'm on call, I don't make money. I have bills like everyone else, except I swear, I have more than the "no cancer" person. At staff meeting, our boss has decided to change staffing for the better. Since I work postpartum and NICU, she's going by general standards from one of the leading organizations for labor/delivery, postpartum and NICU. Looks like we're going to be better staffed and I won't be running my butt off wishing I had another nurse. She's taking away my charge nurse status as we're only going to have one charge nurse and that has to be a labor/delivery nurse, but if I'm working more, it's not really gonna matter that I lose that extra $1.00/hour I make when I charge. I'm excited for this change. I was seriously looking at travel nursing and I really don't want to leave home for 13 weeks at a time taking a job outta state. WooHoo!!

*Dave and I are finally going to a themed suite hotel on Tuesday for an anniversary present our three kids gave us. I forget what theme we chose, but I'll take pictures. I'm just not hoping for cheesy. They also gave us a gift card to a Texas Roadhouse for dinner. I think we're gonna save that one. What great kids we have. Gosh, I love them so much. They have done so much for me. So has Dave. I'm SOOOO lucky!!

*My appt. with my onc last month went as well as I'd thought. It was my first three month check up since I'd been off chemo. My CEA came down, again. It was a 2.3 and it came down to 1.7. It's that time of year that I need to go in for the yearly colonoscopy. I made the appt with my surgeon (the one that did my last and my resection) to schedule a scope. I'd love it if he said we didn't need to do it since he was groping around in my belly in August when they did my hysterectomy. I know I went into chemo with abnormal cervical cells last January. Even though we did a cryo on them, all it took was one cell to be left behind to raise havoc. The chemo decreased my immune system and off it went. I don't blame the chemo for that cancer since I already had those bad cells and we knew it. I shoulda went to a different doctor for the cryo. The one I had had some issues that carried over into his work and I don't think his mind was really on our objective. I really thought that only my GYN needed to be in there, but my surgeon insisted on being in the OR for that one. What a great guy. I love him to death. I'll do whatever he suggests. I have to admit that I've had this cancer thing easy. I've decided not to ride the guilt train anymore, though. I've just come to the conclusion that me and chemo agreed with each other, after the first few treatments. The rest, like you all know were very tolerable. Like my onc said -- I am the poster-child for Folfox. My neuropathy has disappeared, too.

*I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago for a really nasty toothache. I was so afraid to go because I hadn't been in years. Yes, you read that right -- 6 years to be exact. After I was diagnosed I had a brief thought I need to get the dentist before we start chemo because we all know what chemo can do to the teeth, but, I never went. So, he did x-rays all over. No cavities at all. Just a little bit of a receding gum-line which he thought was probably caused by chemo, but all in all, a very successful appointment.

*I mentioned this on FB, but I have to admit that I'm feeling older since being on chemo. I have had the worst joint pain for a month or so now. Hips (the worst), ankles, fingers/hands, and neck. I know others have these problems too. Motrin doesn't touch it and I'm refusing to take anything stronger because of the constipation problems we all know about. Probably from chemo, but I'll take it over cancer any day.

Ok... what about the rest of you? There are so many people on my list that I think about daily. I send good vibes to you all. I think about kicking cancers butt all the time and I think we can do it. It might take my life one day, but my cancer, right now, is in the rear-view mirror. A bad memory. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of it, but it doesn't run my life, anymore. It's so amazing what I think is important now. That's one good thing about having cancer has done for me. Prioritize life and not sweat the small stuff.

Anyway... Just wanted to let all you semi's and caregivers know I love you and thanks for being here for me. I'm sure you've saved me a lot of $$$ instead of going to a psychiatrist for treatment. I've vented, I've cried, and I've rejoiced at our small improvements.

Love and Hugs to everyone!!

Holly