Where do we go from here with my dad?

LivingFaith
LivingFaith Member Posts: 74
edited March 2014 in Esophageal Cancer #1
Hello all,

I appreciate all of your input these last 3 months. It seems my dad's journey is getting closer to the end as he is getting weaker and more ill by the day. I need help in knowing what to expect.

I'll bring you up to speed. July 16 he was dx EC lVb with a small hot spot met on his liver and pretty much has gone down hill from there. Has done chemo, got a stent which made him worse, another PET showed "stable" in Sept, 3 weeks ago had to stop chemo due to blood counts and severe dehydration, finally agreed to get a j-tube and the dr said he was too sick at that point. Did a CT and it showed just one month later new mets in his liver, mets in his lung, and the tumor growing larger. Last week he got a couple units of blood that helped a lot with the anemia symptons and got better meds for his pain and throwing up.

The last 4 days have been bad. Violent vomitting is back, pain in his chest and lung area, and now sharp shooting pains to his head. It seems this cancer is wrapping itself around nerves, blood vessels, and is bleeding.

How will we know when it is the end? The dr gave said because of how the tumor is wrapping itself around major blood vessels and it is bleeding it could perferate, or squeeze off a vital artery and he would bleed out and be gone in 5 minutes.

They also said he could fill with fluid as the liver shuts down and the organs fail.

How will we know?

Please everyone pray with me to have my dad live until at least Nov 14th if that is God's will. Pray he is well enough to attend a special surprise lifetime acheivement award banquet honoring his 40 years of volunteerism for the city on Nov 10th and on Nov 13th his Knights of Columbus group is having a huge "life celebration" dinner and card tournament for him. I know these two thing will mean the world to him and our family. We want to celebrate his life while he is here to enjoy and hear all the words of love, not just at his funeral.

Blessings and Prayers to you all as well.
Deb

Comments

  • BMGky
    BMGky Member Posts: 621
    #2
    Prayers for your Father and
    Prayers for your Father and your family. May he be comfortable and comforted in his final days.
  • slydog11
    slydog11 Member Posts: 40
    #3
    In my thoughts
    Hi Deb,

    I cannot tell you what to expect but I can assure you that I pray for your Dad's well being and hope that he's able to attend those very special events.

    Paul
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #4
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
    Many Prayers for You and Dad
    Hello Deb
    You and your dad's story sound so similar to mine and my dad's. Go with your gut feelings. You all know when the end is near. My suggestion is to ask your dad what he wants to do. What are his thoughts? Leave the decisions up to him. Give him your blessings whatever he decides. I would also suggest looking into hospice. They will help all of you understand how to deal with what is coming up for you. Look at your dad's quality of life. Does he still have one? I know you know the correct answer to that. Quality outweighs quantity. May God bless all of you and give you the peace you all need at this most difficult time. Keep in touch when you can.
    Tina in Va
  • K_ann1015
    K_ann1015 Member Posts: 500
    #6
    What is your dad's name? (so I can pray more specifically)
    Hi Deb,

    It pains me to read your post. Can I ask what his name is so I can pray more specifically...for pain control, for comfort, for the wisdom of doctors, patience & health of caregivers and if it is at all possible that he can make it to the celebration.
    He is lucky to have such a caring family and community behind him.
    God Bless
    Kim
  • LivingFaith
    LivingFaith Member Posts: 74
    #7
    K_ann1015 said:

    What is your dad's name? (so I can pray more specifically)
    Hi Deb,

    It pains me to read your post. Can I ask what his name is so I can pray more specifically...for pain control, for comfort, for the wisdom of doctors, patience & health of caregivers and if it is at all possible that he can make it to the celebration.
    He is lucky to have such a caring family and community behind him.
    God Bless
    Kim

    Name
    Yes Kim. I like having the name too when I pray.

    My dad's name Rich Anderson. He is 65 years old and lives in Nebraska. My mom's name is Robin and my niece is Allison, whom they have custody of since my little sister passed away last summer. Mom and Allie need a lot of prayers.

    My dad is saved through Christ so that is a worry off the table. It is the journey between now and then that is scary as all Hell! I know my family will be heartbroken having him gone but we will be okay. I have a great hubby and blessed with 2 wonderful little girls.

    This part feels like we are driving down the wrong side of the freeway with no headlights on and blindfolds. We know the crash is going to happen and it's going to hurt. Just don't know exactly when or how it's going to go down.

    Thanks for the prayers. I can feel them lifting us up.

    Deb
  • sal314
    sal314 Member Posts: 599 Member
    #8
    LivingFaith said:

    Name
    Yes Kim. I like having the name too when I pray.

    My dad's name Rich Anderson. He is 65 years old and lives in Nebraska. My mom's name is Robin and my niece is Allison, whom they have custody of since my little sister passed away last summer. Mom and Allie need a lot of prayers.

    My dad is saved through Christ so that is a worry off the table. It is the journey between now and then that is scary as all Hell! I know my family will be heartbroken having him gone but we will be okay. I have a great hubby and blessed with 2 wonderful little girls.

    This part feels like we are driving down the wrong side of the freeway with no headlights on and blindfolds. We know the crash is going to happen and it's going to hurt. Just don't know exactly when or how it's going to go down.

    Thanks for the prayers. I can feel them lifting us up.

    Deb

    So Sorry to Hear
    that your father is declining so fast. EC is truly ruthless. The emotional ups and downs are so, so hard.

    I don't know what to tell you to expect either. Have you thought about calling hospice? They are wonderful at not only taking care of the sick person, but the family as well. They can tell you what to expect and what kinds of things to look for as your father gets closer to meeting with Jesus. WHich by the way, is so awesome to hear! I'd give ANYTHING to know for certain that my father knows Christ.

    I guess all I can say is cherish the time you have with him. And remind yourselves often that this life on earth is only temporary and that one day you will see each other again and have eternity together!

    My prayers go out to you, your dad and all of your family. I know one day I will be facing the same thing. Your dad's story is so similar to my father's. I can totally understand wanting and needing to know what's coming next! The emotional rollercoaster is shear torchure!
    But like Sherri said, only God knows. We must continue to trust in and look to Him! Easier said than done, I know!

    Keep the faith! God will see you through.

    Blessings,
    Sally
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #9
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • dsh
    dsh Member Posts: 8
    #10
    sal314 said:

    So Sorry to Hear
    that your father is declining so fast. EC is truly ruthless. The emotional ups and downs are so, so hard.

    I don't know what to tell you to expect either. Have you thought about calling hospice? They are wonderful at not only taking care of the sick person, but the family as well. They can tell you what to expect and what kinds of things to look for as your father gets closer to meeting with Jesus. WHich by the way, is so awesome to hear! I'd give ANYTHING to know for certain that my father knows Christ.

    I guess all I can say is cherish the time you have with him. And remind yourselves often that this life on earth is only temporary and that one day you will see each other again and have eternity together!

    My prayers go out to you, your dad and all of your family. I know one day I will be facing the same thing. Your dad's story is so similar to my father's. I can totally understand wanting and needing to know what's coming next! The emotional rollercoaster is shear torchure!
    But like Sherri said, only God knows. We must continue to trust in and look to Him! Easier said than done, I know!

    Keep the faith! God will see you through.

    Blessings,
    Sally

    You are in my prayers
    My father died three weeks ago. He also had stage IV EC. From the first signs of symptoms to the day he passed away, it was only about 5 or 6 weeks. It really is devastating the speed at which this cancer takes our loved ones away from us.

    You really will be able to tell when the end is near. With my Dad he developed what is known as "terminal restlessness". He basically became very confused, agitated and, I hate to say, a little bit aggressive towards the nurses (my Dad was normally a very mild man, which is what made this so distressing for the family to see). I think terminal restlessness is quite rare; if your loved one is in the final stages I hope he doesn't develop this as, as I say, it is quite distressing to witness.

    Hope you can be strong

    S
  • MRapp226
    MRapp226 Member Posts: 44
    #11
    dsh said:

    You are in my prayers
    My father died three weeks ago. He also had stage IV EC. From the first signs of symptoms to the day he passed away, it was only about 5 or 6 weeks. It really is devastating the speed at which this cancer takes our loved ones away from us.

    You really will be able to tell when the end is near. With my Dad he developed what is known as "terminal restlessness". He basically became very confused, agitated and, I hate to say, a little bit aggressive towards the nurses (my Dad was normally a very mild man, which is what made this so distressing for the family to see). I think terminal restlessness is quite rare; if your loved one is in the final stages I hope he doesn't develop this as, as I say, it is quite distressing to witness.

    Hope you can be strong

    S

    so sorry - I went through this also
    My dad was officially diagnosed on August 9th and passed away on Sunday, August 29th. My family and I all knew it wouldn't be long after he entered Hospice Care on Friday, August 27th. Read the materials that hospice gives you. Our hospice contact told us that some people want their loved ones with them at time of passing and others do not. I knew on Saturday, August 28th that he wasn't going to be with us for very long. You will know... Trust me. On Sunday morning, my dad was having difficulty breathing... His breathing sounds like a percolator, just what Hospice had informed us would happen. He was also clammy but cold to the touch. My mom, brother and I took turns sitting with him and talking to him. He wasn't conscious but my mom said, "Tony, you know that I love you, right?" He shook his head yes. It wasn't until we were all at his bedside, that he passed. He died within minutes... I found comfort that he wanted us there to help him leave life on earth for eternal life in Heaven. You will never be prepared... Trust me. Continue to talk to him. He will hear you.

    The other thing that scared me but later found comfort in. His dad (who passed away about 25 years ago) had visited him and told him all about heaven. He found peace in that and the fact that there was someone there to greet him.

    It is not easy. I still cannot believe that my dad is gone. He was 54 years old. Heart disease ran in his family so we always made sure that he went to cardiologist. Never in a million years did we think cancer would get him. I know what you are going through, like all the others on this site. Stay strong and know that you have far away friends that are praying for you and your family. We are always here for you.

    Warm regards,
    Melissa
  • unclaw2002
    unclaw2002 Member Posts: 599
    #12
    How is your Dad doing
    Deb,

    I was thinking of you as the 10th and 14th are close at hand and wondering how your dad is doing? I have been praying that he will be able to attend and enjoy these wonderful tributes to his life. Let us know how you and he and your family are doing.

    Prayers and hugs,
    Cindy

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