Funny .. I hope this doesn't offend anyone : LOL

VickiSam
VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ha Ha for the day ...

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin ...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    LOL LOL LOL...seriously,
    LOL LOL LOL...seriously, just about the only thing that truly offends me anymore is cancer!
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Thanks, Vicki.
    Now, that one was very funny and no offense taken.
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    MyTurnNow said:

    Thanks, Vicki.
    Now, that one was very funny and no offense taken.

    LMAO!
    Offended? It is funny!
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    That was great
    Thanks for the laugh

    marge
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    You crack me up!!!LOL I'm
    You crack me up!!!LOL I'm not offended at all its hilarious.
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    Love it! And my brother,
    Love it! And my brother, who is an attorney, sends me lawyer jokes all of the time. I'm going to send it to him--he'll think it is hilarious.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    I am laughing and laughing!!!!!
    ME???? the queen of smarm???? Offended????? Impossible!!!! Entertained? Certainly!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    NOT OFFENDED
    I thought it was funny and clever.
  • QuiltingMama123
    QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
    OUTSTANDING! Somehow, my
    OUTSTANDING! Somehow, my husband, the engineer was not amused! Thanks for the laugh!
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member

    OUTSTANDING! Somehow, my
    OUTSTANDING! Somehow, my husband, the engineer was not amused! Thanks for the laugh!

    I thought it was very funny.
    I thought it was very funny. Not offensive in the least.
  • linpsu
    linpsu Member Posts: 747
    ha-ha
    What a riot! I forwarded it to selected friends only!
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    Loved it! Hope you don't
    Loved it! Hope you don't mind that I copied and put it in an email.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    HEE HEE HEE
    Oh Vicki that truly tickled my funny bone, thanks I needed a laugh!

    RE
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    RE said:

    HEE HEE HEE
    Oh Vicki that truly tickled my funny bone, thanks I needed a laugh!

    RE

    Thanks for the laugh
    Thanks for the laugh.
    Margo
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    Offensive?
    No way! Hilarious? YES! Thanks Queen V! :-)
    ♥ Cat