The day has come.

ArturoScolamacchia
ArturoScolamacchia Member Posts: 6
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
About 5-6 months ago, I posted a message that hopefully made others feel better about their loved ones who where ill. This morning, my wonderful, beautiful mother passed away from her Liver cancer. And for some odd reason, I don't feel sad. I love her with all my heart, but everytime i think of her all I can see is all the times we were happy together. I wasn't there when she passed but on the phone with my dad. I did get a chance to be with her for a whole month this Sep-Oct, so I did see her not to long ago. She made me romise her no matter what happens, that I do not feel sad because I'll never be alone. She also made me promise to always concentrate on my future and do whatever I can to help others. In turn, I made her promise me that when that sad day comes, that she will be with me, watch me, and follow me where ever I go. And now that day has come and I feel....excited. I can feel her with me right now as I type this. Now she is no longer forced to feel constant pain or exhaustion. I can now show her all the good I do and have someone to talk to when things aren't so good. I guess you could say she's kinda making me write this for all others in my position to make them feel better. All I ever wanted to do when she was sick was to take her with me. And now I can. I hope all who read this find comfort in the fact that loved ones are never lost, just transitioned to a different state. My mom always says that I'm her angel, which is ironic, because she just became mine. To all those family members in pain, me and my mother wish you well, and show you now our bond is stronger than ever as she is with me now

Comments

  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #2
    So Sorry
    Hi,
    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You have such a wonderful outlook. MY husband died 7 months ago on the 25th and I still am having a hard time accepting it. I keep waiting for a sign that he's watching down on me but haven't had any yet.
    You must've loved your mom alot and I'm sure she was thankful for you taking care of her.
    Take Care! "Carole"
  • ArturoScolamacchia
    ArturoScolamacchia Member Posts: 6
    #3
    3Mana said:

    So Sorry
    Hi,
    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You have such a wonderful outlook. MY husband died 7 months ago on the 25th and I still am having a hard time accepting it. I keep waiting for a sign that he's watching down on me but haven't had any yet.
    You must've loved your mom alot and I'm sure she was thankful for you taking care of her.
    Take Care! "Carole"

    I see it as he is probably
    I see it as he is probably with you right now. Your bond with him is strong enough to break the lines of life and death just like me and my mom. In fact, I talked to her all day today. I actually feel closer to her now more than ever. Just talk to him, he will hear you. It's difficult to explain but sometimes you can feel them responding. It's how I know she's there. Take care Carole.
  • ArturoScolamacchia
    ArturoScolamacchia Member Posts: 6
    #4
    3Mana said:

    So Sorry
    Hi,
    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You have such a wonderful outlook. MY husband died 7 months ago on the 25th and I still am having a hard time accepting it. I keep waiting for a sign that he's watching down on me but haven't had any yet.
    You must've loved your mom alot and I'm sure she was thankful for you taking care of her.
    Take Care! "Carole"

    double post sorry

    double post sorry
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #5
    3Mana said:

    So Sorry
    Hi,
    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You have such a wonderful outlook. MY husband died 7 months ago on the 25th and I still am having a hard time accepting it. I keep waiting for a sign that he's watching down on me but haven't had any yet.
    You must've loved your mom alot and I'm sure she was thankful for you taking care of her.
    Take Care! "Carole"

    You just got your sign Mana
    You were drawn to Artura's post Mana about how he feels the bond now even stronger with his Mom who passed, I think you were drawn to his post for a reason. I think you have your sign now Mana.

    All the best and to you Artura thanks for the lovely post on the board, I know it will help alot of people who have lost loved ones.

    Take care.

    Blessings, Bluerose
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #6
    bluerose said:

    You just got your sign Mana
    You were drawn to Artura's post Mana about how he feels the bond now even stronger with his Mom who passed, I think you were drawn to his post for a reason. I think you have your sign now Mana.

    All the best and to you Artura thanks for the lovely post on the board, I know it will help alot of people who have lost loved ones.

    Take care.

    Blessings, Bluerose

    Do you think?
    Blue Rose,
    I really find so much comfort on this site even though Tom is gone. The people who have cancer & the caregivers are all great. Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I come here just to see how everyone's doing and feel happy when I see all the love that everyone shares on here. Except when we get some spammer trying to sell drugs. That really gets me mad.
    Take care!! Hope you're doing okay! "Carole"
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #7
    Sorry
    I am very sorry that you lost your mom. I can't help but wonder if you are still in that daze stage we often feel after a loved one passes away. I lost my husband a year ago and think I am doing well. I have a strong faith and have felt my husband's presence many times. I have wonderful memories, but I still grieve. Please be there for your father during his grief. My sons and family have really helped me through this time. Don't be afraid to grieve a little, too. When my father died, I remember thinking I was really handling things well until I pulled out a Christmas ornament he had made for me to decorate for Christmas. It had been about a month since my dad had died, and I just broke down. I needed to grieve. I had been so focused on helping my mother that I hadn't really taken the time for my own grief. Take care, Fay
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #8
    3Mana said:

    Do you think?
    Blue Rose,
    I really find so much comfort on this site even though Tom is gone. The people who have cancer & the caregivers are all great. Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I come here just to see how everyone's doing and feel happy when I see all the love that everyone shares on here. Except when we get some spammer trying to sell drugs. That really gets me mad.
    Take care!! Hope you're doing okay! "Carole"

    Absolutely Mana
    I totally think that was your sign Mana, I really do.

    Hope you are doing well today.

    Blessings, Bluerose
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #9
    Thank You
    Thank you so much for posting this message. I lost my dad 7 months ago, March 9, 2010. My sympathies go out to you and your family on the recent loss of your mom. Your post has been very helpful to me. I will enjoy my dad being my angel as well! Peace.
    Tina in Va
  • EKIDD2
    EKIDD2 Member Posts: 11
    #10
    Sorry for your loss.
    Hello.

    I lost my mom almost six months ago, and I have really been struggling. I am 19 years old and I just miss my mom so much. I want to feel her presence, but I don't know if I have? I think I try to hard to find a sign.

    I'll keep you in my prayers.

    Liz
  • EKIDD2
    EKIDD2 Member Posts: 11
    #11
    Sorry for your loss.
    Hello.

    I lost my mom almost six months ago, and I have really been struggling. I am 19 years old and I just miss my mom so much. I want to feel her presence, but I don't know if I have? I think I try to hard to find a sign.

    I'll keep you in my prayers.

    Liz
  • GregStahl
    GregStahl Member Posts: 188
    #12
    EKIDD2 said:

    Sorry for your loss.
    Hello.

    I lost my mom almost six months ago, and I have really been struggling. I am 19 years old and I just miss my mom so much. I want to feel her presence, but I don't know if I have? I think I try to hard to find a sign.

    I'll keep you in my prayers.

    Liz

    Liz
    Liz....look in your heart, your mom is right there. When good things happen she is there to enjoy them with you and when bad things happen she is there to comfort and guide.

    My dad passed away about 6 months before my son was born...he was 72. When my son was about 3 1/2 or so I was going thru some old pictures and found my dads last professional picture done before he passed. My son said "I know him, thats Paw, thats your daddy" I asked him how he knew that since he had not seen pictures of my dad (We had moved 2 years ealier and the pictures were still packed). He said "he use to come see me when I was in bed".

    I honestly believe our loved ones are here, watching, guiding, and smacking us up side the head when needed (LOL), but us adults just refuse to open our minds to see where as children are open to all.

    Open your mind, look in your heart, you will see the signs and feel her arm around your shoulder as you walk down life's path.

    Greg
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #13
    GregStahl said:

    Liz
    Liz....look in your heart, your mom is right there. When good things happen she is there to enjoy them with you and when bad things happen she is there to comfort and guide.

    My dad passed away about 6 months before my son was born...he was 72. When my son was about 3 1/2 or so I was going thru some old pictures and found my dads last professional picture done before he passed. My son said "I know him, thats Paw, thats your daddy" I asked him how he knew that since he had not seen pictures of my dad (We had moved 2 years ealier and the pictures were still packed). He said "he use to come see me when I was in bed".

    I honestly believe our loved ones are here, watching, guiding, and smacking us up side the head when needed (LOL), but us adults just refuse to open our minds to see where as children are open to all.

    Open your mind, look in your heart, you will see the signs and feel her arm around your shoulder as you walk down life's path.

    Greg

    I'm with Greg here Mana
    Don't try so hard to hear or see messages around you from your husband, I know he is around you and if you are in the middle of your day and something happens that seems a little different yet comforting I am guessing that is him. It's the little ways they show up that you will begin to see. He will guide you and is.

    Take care.

    Blessings, Bluerose
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #14
    bluerose said:

    I'm with Greg here Mana
    Don't try so hard to hear or see messages around you from your husband, I know he is around you and if you are in the middle of your day and something happens that seems a little different yet comforting I am guessing that is him. It's the little ways they show up that you will begin to see. He will guide you and is.

    Take care.

    Blessings, Bluerose

    Signs
    Hi Bluerose,
    I guess it's cause I miss Tom so much that I keep wishing I would get a sign that he's watching over me. Funny cause we planted a redbud tree about 5 years ago and it has never gotten buds (might have mentioned this before) till this year. Tom died in March and it bloomed in May. I was so happy. But a couple weeks ago we had really strong winds & I looked out the window & the whole east side of the tree had split. I cried when I saw this and wondered if he was mad at me about something. Only want good signs!!!
    The holidays are going to be rough. The other day I was in a store and they were playing Christmas music already. When I heard it I felt sad and wanted to cry.
    Thanks for keeping in touch!!! "Carole"
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #15
    3Mana said:

    Signs
    Hi Bluerose,
    I guess it's cause I miss Tom so much that I keep wishing I would get a sign that he's watching over me. Funny cause we planted a redbud tree about 5 years ago and it has never gotten buds (might have mentioned this before) till this year. Tom died in March and it bloomed in May. I was so happy. But a couple weeks ago we had really strong winds & I looked out the window & the whole east side of the tree had split. I cried when I saw this and wondered if he was mad at me about something. Only want good signs!!!
    The holidays are going to be rough. The other day I was in a store and they were playing Christmas music already. When I heard it I felt sad and wanted to cry.
    Thanks for keeping in touch!!! "Carole"

    Hey Carole
    Not everything is a sign and I would be careful putting negative thoughts on things that happen and I know that your husband wouldn't be sending negative signs I'm sure. I don't remember hearing anyone saying that negative signs might have come from loved ones so I wouldn't think that of the damage to the tree. Nature happens.

    Holiday time is very difficult for anyone who has lossed a love one around that same year, the first year is the worst for lots of people as you probably know. You have alot of company in this emotion that's for sure.

    The good thing is that you found this site and there is alot of support here from those who have been through it all. Do you also go to the caregivers site too? I hear they are very good and they used to hold chat meetings in one of the rooms on this site, they maybe still do. That might help you as well.

    Have you looked into local support grief/loss groups? Reason I am mentioning it is that it's good to get out and talk to people face to face about these things too and not just online. You never know, you might meet a new friend in a group like that as well.

    Dinner is calling me so I had better go. Keep posting and look for groups in your area as well, they could really help.

    Blessings, Bluerose
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #16
    bluerose said:

    Hey Carole
    Not everything is a sign and I would be careful putting negative thoughts on things that happen and I know that your husband wouldn't be sending negative signs I'm sure. I don't remember hearing anyone saying that negative signs might have come from loved ones so I wouldn't think that of the damage to the tree. Nature happens.

    Holiday time is very difficult for anyone who has lossed a love one around that same year, the first year is the worst for lots of people as you probably know. You have alot of company in this emotion that's for sure.

    The good thing is that you found this site and there is alot of support here from those who have been through it all. Do you also go to the caregivers site too? I hear they are very good and they used to hold chat meetings in one of the rooms on this site, they maybe still do. That might help you as well.

    Have you looked into local support grief/loss groups? Reason I am mentioning it is that it's good to get out and talk to people face to face about these things too and not just online. You never know, you might meet a new friend in a group like that as well.

    Dinner is calling me so I had better go. Keep posting and look for groups in your area as well, they could really help.

    Blessings, Bluerose

    Go to alot of sites
    Hi,
    I do go to the caregivers site and many of the other ones too. Sorry if I sound negative. I've come a long way since Tom died, really. And I've been seeing a counselor since April & am also on meds which have helped alot. Guess some days I just feel bitter and just wish I could hold him one more time or just call him to talk. We were very close. Had known each other since 1st grade.
    I also have a coffee group that meet every day in our village. They support me so much and don't know what I'd do without family & friends. Also people like you and other ones that I've talked to on this site. I promise I'll try and be stronger & not think that he's sending me negative signs, okay?? Thanks for listening! "Carole"
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #17
    bluerose said:

    Hey Carole
    Not everything is a sign and I would be careful putting negative thoughts on things that happen and I know that your husband wouldn't be sending negative signs I'm sure. I don't remember hearing anyone saying that negative signs might have come from loved ones so I wouldn't think that of the damage to the tree. Nature happens.

    Holiday time is very difficult for anyone who has lossed a love one around that same year, the first year is the worst for lots of people as you probably know. You have alot of company in this emotion that's for sure.

    The good thing is that you found this site and there is alot of support here from those who have been through it all. Do you also go to the caregivers site too? I hear they are very good and they used to hold chat meetings in one of the rooms on this site, they maybe still do. That might help you as well.

    Have you looked into local support grief/loss groups? Reason I am mentioning it is that it's good to get out and talk to people face to face about these things too and not just online. You never know, you might meet a new friend in a group like that as well.

    Dinner is calling me so I had better go. Keep posting and look for groups in your area as well, they could really help.

    Blessings, Bluerose

    Go to alot of sites
    Hi,
    I do go to the caregivers site and many of the other ones too. Sorry if I sound negative. I've come a long way since Tom died, really. And I've been seeing a counselor since April & am also on meds which have helped alot. Guess some days I just feel bitter and just wish I could hold him one more time or just call him to talk. We were very close. Had known each other since 1st grade.
    I also have a coffee group that meet every day in our village. They support me so much and don't know what I'd do without family & friends. Also people like you and other ones that I've talked to on this site. I promise I'll try and be stronger & not think that he's sending me negative signs, okay?? Thanks for listening! "Carole"
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #18
    3Mana said:

    Go to alot of sites
    Hi,
    I do go to the caregivers site and many of the other ones too. Sorry if I sound negative. I've come a long way since Tom died, really. And I've been seeing a counselor since April & am also on meds which have helped alot. Guess some days I just feel bitter and just wish I could hold him one more time or just call him to talk. We were very close. Had known each other since 1st grade.
    I also have a coffee group that meet every day in our village. They support me so much and don't know what I'd do without family & friends. Also people like you and other ones that I've talked to on this site. I promise I'll try and be stronger & not think that he's sending me negative signs, okay?? Thanks for listening! "Carole"

    Sorry Carole
    Oh no Carole I didn't mean to sound as if I was lecturing you on being negative or anything didn't mean for it to come off like that. It sounded like you were looking for signs at every turn and if you had no support around you, as many don't, then it wouldn't have been a good combo for a person's mental health is all I meant. I am so glad to hear that you have stepped out and gotten involved in face to face groups and that you have friends around you to help you through. You are wise to seek help when you know that you need it. Good for you.

    Don't apologize to anyone for any of your feelings, your feelings are your feelings and can't be wrong - it's what you feel. From what I can see you are pretty normal in how you are grieivng, going through all the same stages of grief as others who mourn a loss. It's very hard but you sound as if you are indeed strong and will reach out for help if you need it.

    Take care.

    Bluerose

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