Terribly scared

lauchavezmx
lauchavezmx Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My husband was diagnosed with Stomach Cancer Stage IV last February. Our marriage was perfect before this, so much love, fun, everything to be thankful!!! For both is our second marriage and we suffer a lot in the previous one... we have been dealing with the acceptance that after finding happiness we might lose everything. We have been married for 2 years and a half, I’m from Mexico and quit my job, rent my house, say goodbye to friends and family, everything and now I’m so scared!!! After doing great and being in remission and almost achieve surgery he has a relapse… and now doctors are saying that we can’t talk anymore about recovery. There are 2 things that kill me every day, see that he is suffering and thinking about me and losing him and how to deal with that and what is going to happen to me… He is an outrageous successful scientist, happy, strong and now he can’t enjoy anything and is only 44!!! He is tender and kind and now is so grumpy about food and I kill myself to study about food, nutrition and everything to help him… I can’t accept this and his ex wife demanding prove of the life insurance and asking for more money because is “fair” so much pain…. So sad…. And scared…

Comments

  • Luv2lunch
    Luv2lunch Member Posts: 270
    #2
    Hi,
    I just wanted to say hi
    Hi,
    I just wanted to say hi and say I'm really sorry for your situation. I am taking care of my Mom who was diagnosed with rectal cancer in March of this year. It is a very difficult thing to be a caregiver. I'm glad you both found love the second time around and I know he appreciates you, even though he is grumpy and doesn't like the food you prepare for him.
    I know it is scary, this rotten cancer thing. You are not alone.
    Keep your faith strong. Be there for him. Spend time together as much as possible.
    Please know you both will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
    Linda
  • webozo
    webozo Member Posts: 82 Member
    #3
    so sorry that you have been
    so sorry that you have been added to our family. i do not want anyone to go through this and it is very hard when recovery it not the goal. it is easy to say take one day at a time but really that is what you have to do. each day that is given to you try to find one joyful thing in it and it will help you make it. you may even find that the joys are in the very small things.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #4
    Marriage
    I am sorry that this is happening to you and your husband . There is no words that can ease the pain. Take one day at a time , remeember you are his wife now and what you say goes. He is scared and in pain too. The food thing happenes to all who have had rads and chemo. So the Grumpy food thing is normal in a not so normal world.
    My husband hated Potatoe Soup but after Chemo and Rads that was one food he could eat and liked. I know that is not much help. I wish I could say something to ease your pain.
    Juts know you are not alone, you may feel this way but there are alot of us walking from the same road.

    Jennie
  • rocket baby
    rocket baby Member Posts: 22
    #5
    Scared
    Cancer is a very scary place to be, and there are so many of us dealing with care giving that we forget about ourselves. Please remember when he is grumpy that he is not himself. He is also scared and he is not mad at you he is mad at the cancer and all of the things that have been taken away from him by this disease. Your husband's ex-wife has no right to know anything about his life insurance. If she is bothering you (and your husband) contact the local authorities and get a restraining order which will prevent her from calling your house and/or being anywhere near you. You DO NOT need this kind of stress right now you have more than enough to deal with. I know this might seem a little extreme but his ex-wife is obviously more concerned about money and herself than what you are going through. You need to take care of your husband and yourself, that is the priority. God Bless you, I will pray for you.

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