I SURRENDER - THE PEG GOES IN NEXT TUESDAY

Kimba1505 said:

It is all how you look at it...
Mark had the PEG put in during his first week of treatment and did not need to actually use it until his last...but need it he did. I, as his caregiver, and his romantic interest, looked at it as a new part of him that I wanted to get my hands on!! Before he needed it for nourishment he would sometimes allow me to flush it out. Call me weird, but it put a kinda fun spin on it. I called it our "new intimacy". Go for it!!
Kim

Kimba1505 said:

Share with the wife...definitely!
Mike,
I am chuckling that you shared the post with your wife. It is a bit of a role reversal, so to speak, with us getting to deliver...if you get what I mean. LOL.
On a less light note, I am so sorry to hear your side effects are so many. It does make it harder to stay on the light side. Attempt at humor is always worth a try, and as caregiver, it is important that we show/have interest in every part of what you go through.
Your road was not set as an easy one from the start, surgically. Sorry that the chemo rad part didn't take you on the "not so bad" road.
Follow the advice from those here...they know best. Mark just told me today, looking back, he felt the time with unbearable constipation was the worst. It was the one day he verbally asked me not to leave.
Hang in there, you are in the final stretch. And to finish out with the Cisplatin (BIG BIG guns) is huge! As you know many have to let it go, because the side effects are too bad and too damaging. Know that as your body is subject to its wrath...you are getting the gold standard of chemo treatments.
Rads... the damage they do is brutal. By the end of treatment Mark's inside and outside were burned terribly. I am trying to remember how long the worst of it lasted. There was what I could see and what I could not see. He finished on July 20th, and on August 11th he was eating BBQ wings and drinking a beer at my Dad's 75th. He couldn't taste a whole lot, but I remember him feeling like he was a part of things for the first time.
Mark, I think, was kinda unusual. One who faired better than the norm.
The one thing to remember, is no matter what, do not stop swallowing. As you take nutrition through the tube, find something that you can swallow. I made a shake for Mark with Ensure, Carnation Instant breakfast, L-Glutimine, fresh berries, and sherbet. He liked the consistancy, because really the taste didn't matter; but in his head he liked what was in it, and that made it more tolerable too.
Mike, you are close to the end...but I also remember feeling like those last days went in slow motion. There is the end, and then there is the beginning of recovery...but not going in every day for treatments was HUGE...regardless of the cooking time that remained.
You are of strong mind and that is crystal clear in your emails...I would say that was Mark's best asset. He too had a very strong mind and determination. He tried to keep as much normalacy in his day as possible. We both felt we were always working towards the cure; and realizing the "it has to get worse before it gets better" scenerio. But then it gets better.
Mark and I went on a 20 mile bike ride today. He did the hills better than me...cancer, really? He kicked butt...my butt...and I'm no slouch.
Hang in Mike, I always read your posts and keep an eye on you.
My Best to you and your wife...find fun where you can. (wink wink)
Kim