Pad Diary II

griff 1 said:

trew
just reading your posts and i wish the best of luck you sound like a great guy that has been through too much crap. your attitude is good and i hope all goes well for you. griff

Griff, thanks for the
Griff, thanks for the support. some days I really sink low, then come back up.

today I had a creative thought. I think I will ask my Dr at U of MI if there is any creative ideas she would like to try out on someone- I would be a willing candidate.

I think once I am into this I might as well keep digging, but I must say, it is getting harder to toss the dirt out of the hole.

guards said:

Monday
Well trew it's monday and another weekend has come and gone. Had a really wet night last PM. Had a large coffe from starbucks and thats always a big mistake but sometimes ya have to treat yourself and I really miss my coffee! In my good ol days I would stop at starbucks after my morning ride and sit on the patio with a large cup and greet all the strangers as well as old friends. Go back to the doc's wednesday for an after surgery consult, guess he just wants to make sure I'm alive. It's amazing how your imagination runs as you anticipate this stuff. I have been thinking I feel the damn stent moving as I do anthing that puts even a minor strain on me, as that is the only danger I guess, so you just worry about it. I supose if this goes well I'll start to worry that every thing is going wrong with the AUS. Things just went so far south you just doubt that they will ever get correct again. I even went out and wiped down my bike this week end to get it ready for spring, so I guess I have some optimism left LOL.Hope ya had a good week.

I wish there was a little
I wish there was a little consistency with incntinency.

total Pad weight/oz last week thru today:
Wed- 17.4oz
Thurs- 21.9 oz
Fri- 19.1 oz
Sat 22.3
Sun- 13.1 oz (only 6 pads all day!!-cured!!)
Mon- as of right now at 1:45 I'm only on my 3rd pad. First two pads of the day weighed 1.1 and 3.5 oz. I was through a similar patter in early Sept but then lots of very wet days followed. I get my hopes up on good days and think, maybe this will correct itself. Well, maybe this will correect itself- why not? I can dry over all this tomorrow.

guards said:

Doctors visit
Well trew now I have the long wait. Won't see the doctor for 3 months and then another cysyo to see if I'm ready for the 800. Seems everythings normal and now I just have to wait for the stent to grow in and seat itself permantly. Doc was very positive, sure helps when he has a good attitude. Was thinking about timing and really it works out pretty well. I have the holidays with my family before any decisions or operations are done and If I get to have the 800 it will be operational by golf season and biking time not bad. At least I have some hope at the end of the tunnel for a while. Hope your doing ok also.

Guards, that is good news.
Guards, that is good news. Why the 3 month wait before you can get the AUS installed?

I am just settling in trying to endure right now and get past all this waiting. The cath procedure continues 2x a day. there is resistence, I just push on through and if I bleed, I bleed. I somehow think this is the key to getting on to the next step. So I endure.

A good associate of mine died from cancer on Monday. He was a good man but can came in through his liver and invaded everything. He was a good Christian man and that gives us who knew him comfort, but he is still missed. Just a grim reminder what we here have faced.

a better day will come. Its just not here yet.

I will endure. The jaw is set, I will get through this- I see the doc in U Of MI Nov. 1.

That is what is happening with me.

hightide said:

Keep the jaw set !!!!
Hey, Trew & Guards, Just had to jump in and say keep the jaw set and we will endure. That three month wait will go by in a hurry, and for Trew, Nov. 1 will be here before you know it. I am in Boston right now on the first vacation my wife and I have taken after all this got started in 2007. As you know I just got my AUS back in Aug. and now that I am DRY, I want to go and see and do everything, and a year ago I never thought I would want to do anything again. Hang in there guys !!!!! hightide

Hightide, that was
Hightide, that was thoughtful of you to think of Guards and me while you are out vacationing. And you are right, at least for me, it is just set the jaw and bear with this until the end.

It is just difficult enduring right now.

the wait goes on.

guards said:

Well its tuesday
Another couple of weeks are gone! Situation normal all wet lol. Just had my quarterly from my GP and looks ok , PSA still 0. zip , my h1ac is getting lower as I bring my diabeties back under control. and the rest was great so guess a lttle optmisum helps. Hope every thing is fine with you. Don't know why I'm typing in red another mystery in life lol. drop you a line in a couple,
Jim

guards, you may have typed
guards, you may have typed in red- but it all came out black.
I had my PSA blood draw on MOnday- no word of results yet.
I see the uro in U of MI on this coming Monday- Nov. 1. I am scheduled for another scoping.

I am just settling in now to endure until this period of my life is over.
Confession time: I am happy to hear of other men who are dry in a month or so and everything is beginning to work again, but honestly, such testimonials depress me. I think, "Why couldn't that have happened to me?" I don't know if anyone else has had that reaction, but it is how I feel at times. Especially when I'm not paying attention and I wet through everything which happens once in awhile.

Cath time again. 2Xs a day, forever!

yes, there are still some good moments. This thingie hasn't totally gotten me yet. I will endure.

JR1949 said:

Hello Trew
I have not done a lot of posting last few weeks, but I am still thinking about you and you are in my prayers. This is November 1, so I hope everything went well for you today at U of MI.

Okay I read about some men who are are dry as soon as the cath is removed or a month or two later and I think "I wish that was me", but I realize that everybody is different, they had different surgey, different surgeon and their bodies heal differently. You also have to take into account that some men do not survive prostate cancer. I just take satisfaction in the fact that I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR even though I still have incontinence and ED. I trust in God to get me through this chapter in my life.

Just keep your sense of humor and don't let this "thingie" get you. As I saw on a bumper sticker, WAG MORE, BARK LESS.

JR

U of MI appointment 11/1/10
The cath procedure is going well- keep it up with daily variations- 1x one day 2xs the next for the next two months.

Tissue is not well yet. "See you again Jan 3" and go from there.

Dr Latini did tell me tht radiaiton goes on killing cells after treatment- for another 5- 10 yrs. She is determined to do what is best not what is expedient. she is looking at maybe 6- 9 months before she will consider an AUS and the ileal conduit is still on the table. She does one about every other week.

That is all I can report. Of course I am looking for a quicker fix, but then I have a closet full of packages of Tena pads- just my luck to have surgery and not get to use those things. so life goes on.

JR, thanks for thinking about me.

I see the uro in Kalamazoo tomorrow and get the report from last week's psa check. No phone call this time- probably nothing significant. I am going to suggest he try the ED shot tomorrow. Not even a stretct of any kind since surgery in March 09. That worries me too.

Life goes on.

Oh, the family doc wants me to lose weight, stop eating as much, diet, exercise, so even food is against me now. Celery, anyone?