stage IV oxygen and spiriva/albuterol?

Hi all

Dad has been lying on the couch last couple of days (diagnosed 10/09, adenocarcinoma) & says he is too weak to get up and can't breathe. He is on oxygen. Before cancer diagnosis, a pulmonologist gave him spiriva because originallly he was diagnosed with emphysema (before PET scan). Doctor wanted him to get bloodwork on Monday, possibly needing a transfusion, but he said no b/c he was too weak. I forced him to get up yesterday & drink some carnation instant breakfast. I then pulled my car as close to the door as possible, brought extra oxygen with us & brought him to the doctor. I couldn't help but cry when bringing him into the office b/c he was sooo weak (I hated crying in front of possibly new patients or other families). dad was always so athletic & in shape, what a change! He had to see another doctor in the group & I felt like he was curious as to the course of treatment that dad has been following (1st Carbo/alimta then cisplatin/gemzar now taxotere). He has been having a lot of tingling & numbing of extremities so it looks like we'll be moving on to either navelbine or topotecan (EGFR-).It turns out that yesterday he just needed to be hydrated via IV fluids.
I am wondering... with dad having so much trouble breathing should he be using spiriva or albuterol or any other breathing treatments in addition to the oxygen? I think that most of the time he is anxious/nervous that he will die losing his breath which makes his breathing worse. I realize that LUNG cancer has an affect on breathing as is the nature of the beast. I'm sure having emphysema isn't great either. He has Ativan for anxiety although I think he likes the narcotic effect of oxycodone and oxycontin together???
He keeps asking me, although I know he has spoken to his dr about it, what is going to happen at the end. I don't know how to talk him into getting hospice.I know they will help coordinate all of his meds and lifestyle. The doctor has also spoken to himm about a DNR but he doesn't really want to talk about it.
I am also a little afraid that there could be brain mets. He asked me twice in 2 minutes where we were going when we were on the way to the doctor accused my mom of hiding his meds and has mood swings. I realize that this could also be an effect of the way he takes his meds probably incorrectly. He was due for a PET scan after the taxotere treatment but being that that is stopping maybe he should have it now. Last one was in mid-June.
Of course I can ask the doctor these many scattered questions but I know that sometimes all of you survivors and survivors' families have the best advice or ways to ask the doctors questions.