Counseling??

ktlcs · September 2010

For any of you that see or have seen a counselor. I made an appointment with a counselor who's name I got through my insu co and who's practice was primarily grief counseling. What I didn't know until I arrived that she was actually a psychiatrist. Ok I guess. I've never had this experience before so didn't know what to expect. The whole time we talked (she mostly asked a lot of questions but it was the first visit) I kept thinking she seemed a little scatter brained. She also wrote me a prescription for some meds to help me to better cope I guess. I don't know, while I was there I kept thinking this is not for me, yet I realized driving home that I actually felt a little better and didn't dissolve into tears like I usually do as soon as I get in the car.

Maybe there is something to this? Haven't filled the prescription yet, will do it today.

Anybody have a similar experience?

Kathy

3Mana · September 2010

Counselors help alot!
Kathy,
I too am seeing a counselor & am on meds. My husband of 46 years died on March 25th so it's 6 months today. He had nsclc that had spread but was only sick for 2 months. He had a rare side effect & hemorraged from one of the chemos they gave him. Because it happened at home & he was fine all day & most of the night it was a traumatic experience for me. The paramedics worked on him for over 1/2 hour but it was too late. I think at first I was in shock and don't remember much cause I was hysterical. After 2 weeks when all I did was cry and lay on the couch, didn't eat, wouldn't answer the phone, I decided to go for help. I go to the Froedert Cancer Center in Wauwatosa Wisconsin. It's free & it has really helped me alot. Guess they ask all these questions so they can find out how you feel. I thought I was going to lose it some days & she told me it was perfectly normal. Used to go every 2 weeks, but now go only once a month. She wants to keep me on meds for maybe another 3 months.
So don't feel funny about going cause it really helped me alot even though I have 3 kids, other relatives & good friends to talk to. Let me know how you're doing. "Carole"

ktlcs · September 2010

3Mana said:
Counselors help alot!
Kathy,
I too am seeing a counselor & am on meds. My husband of 46 years died on March 25th so it's 6 months today. He had nsclc that had spread but was only sick for 2 months. He had a rare side effect & hemorraged from one of the chemos they gave him. Because it happened at home & he was fine all day & most of the night it was a traumatic experience for me. The paramedics worked on him for over 1/2 hour but it was too late. I think at first I was in shock and don't remember much cause I was hysterical. After 2 weeks when all I did was cry and lay on the couch, didn't eat, wouldn't answer the phone, I decided to go for help. I go to the Froedert Cancer Center in Wauwatosa Wisconsin. It's free & it has really helped me alot. Guess they ask all these questions so they can find out how you feel. I thought I was going to lose it some days & she told me it was perfectly normal. Used to go every 2 weeks, but now go only once a month. She wants to keep me on meds for maybe another 3 months.
So don't feel funny about going cause it really helped me alot even though I have 3 kids, other relatives & good friends to talk to. Let me know how you're doing. "Carole"

Carole
Remember me, we have a similar story, my husband had CRC, was doing really well, and suddently began experience back pain, I did get him hospitalized quickly while it wasn't as sudden as your husband, he was doing OK then just started vomiting blood, kidneys failed and passed away that night..I couldn't believe it, it was so sudden!

I find myself crying constantly, rarely eat, and I too feel like I could lose it at any moment. It's even worse at work where i have to try to hold it together all day. She also told me my reaction is totally normal, and that the mourning process ususlly takes 2 years! (it's only been 2 months)I did make a follow up appointment and filled the prescription so we'll see how it goes. I know I need something!

Keep in touch and let me know how you are

Kathy

3Mana · September 2010

ktlcs said:
Carole
Remember me, we have a similar story, my husband had CRC, was doing really well, and suddently began experience back pain, I did get him hospitalized quickly while it wasn't as sudden as your husband, he was doing OK then just started vomiting blood, kidneys failed and passed away that night..I couldn't believe it, it was so sudden!

I find myself crying constantly, rarely eat, and I too feel like I could lose it at any moment. It's even worse at work where i have to try to hold it together all day. She also told me my reaction is totally normal, and that the mourning process ususlly takes 2 years! (it's only been 2 months)I did make a follow up appointment and filled the prescription so we'll see how it goes. I know I need something!

Keep in touch and let me know how you are

Kathy

Similiar story
Kathy,
I just read your page where you told about your husband. Couldn't believe how it sounded like mine. MY husband started having back pain in Aug. 2009. He went to the Dr. and had to have an Cat scan which showed two fractures in his spine. They told him to get a back brace & take Ibuprofen. Oh forgot to tell you he didn't go to the Dr. till Dec. cause figured maybe it was from all the yard work he did in summer. So anyhow he had to go back the beginning of Jan. 2010 and they did another scan which showed a change. The Dr. said " I think you have a tumor somewhere in your body. So more tests. It showed a tumor in his lung. Then he had to have a brain scan. Yup, lesions in his brain too. This was the beginning of our nightmare. It's still hard to believe he's gone, cause he was so healthy. I was also told it would take 2 years of mourning. I think it's just getting through all those firsts, don't you? But like I said the counseling really helps & also the meds. I'm going to be afraid to go off the meds cause I'll worry that I'll get depressed again, but don't want to be on them too long.
We'll both make it, and it does get better so hang in there! "Carole"

closs86 · September 2010

3Mana said:
Similiar story
Kathy,
I just read your page where you told about your husband. Couldn't believe how it sounded like mine. MY husband started having back pain in Aug. 2009. He went to the Dr. and had to have an Cat scan which showed two fractures in his spine. They told him to get a back brace & take Ibuprofen. Oh forgot to tell you he didn't go to the Dr. till Dec. cause figured maybe it was from all the yard work he did in summer. So anyhow he had to go back the beginning of Jan. 2010 and they did another scan which showed a change. The Dr. said " I think you have a tumor somewhere in your body. So more tests. It showed a tumor in his lung. Then he had to have a brain scan. Yup, lesions in his brain too. This was the beginning of our nightmare. It's still hard to believe he's gone, cause he was so healthy. I was also told it would take 2 years of mourning. I think it's just getting through all those firsts, don't you? But like I said the counseling really helps & also the meds. I'm going to be afraid to go off the meds cause I'll worry that I'll get depressed again, but don't want to be on them too long.
We'll both make it, and it does get better so hang in there! "Carole"

counseling
Hi
I haven't been around for a while, I do read the posts often but I poured my heart out on this site so much, I couldn't do it anymore, I lost my husband of 43 years on April 6 from pancreatic cancer, that we didn't know anything about until 3 weeks before he passed.
He was also very healthy, walked 3 miles a day and ate all healthy food, only 60 years old, Thought he caught a stomach virus from our grandkids and it just got worse and worse, every day, the total time he first was sick was 6 weeks, 3 weeks in Sloane Kettering in Manhattan, I still don't believe it some days,
Well I ran from bereavement group to bereavement group looking for some kind of help to cope, my doctor gave me meds, the groups only seemed to make me feel worse, this forum and others like it helped me a lot, then I decided to try one on one grief therapist, and she is wonderful, and has gotten me through a lot of firsts, it is the best thing that i have done for myself, and don't worry about getting off the meds, if you feel o k, leave well enough alone.
Well I wish everyone some peace in their hearts and minds
Take care
Karen

3Mana · September 2010

closs86 said:
counseling
Hi
I haven't been around for a while, I do read the posts often but I poured my heart out on this site so much, I couldn't do it anymore, I lost my husband of 43 years on April 6 from pancreatic cancer, that we didn't know anything about until 3 weeks before he passed.
He was also very healthy, walked 3 miles a day and ate all healthy food, only 60 years old, Thought he caught a stomach virus from our grandkids and it just got worse and worse, every day, the total time he first was sick was 6 weeks, 3 weeks in Sloane Kettering in Manhattan, I still don't believe it some days,
Well I ran from bereavement group to bereavement group looking for some kind of help to cope, my doctor gave me meds, the groups only seemed to make me feel worse, this forum and others like it helped me a lot, then I decided to try one on one grief therapist, and she is wonderful, and has gotten me through a lot of firsts, it is the best thing that i have done for myself, and don't worry about getting off the meds, if you feel o k, leave well enough alone.
Well I wish everyone some peace in their hearts and minds
Take care
Karen

One on one
Karen,
Glad you decided to see a therapist one on one. I feel it's so much better even though I have a great family and lots of friends. It's nice talking to someone who is totally not related and understands what we're going through. I had asked her about a breavement group and she said sometimes that can be more depressing listening to everyones sad story.
I'm really sorry to hear about your husband. My mom had also died of pancreatic cancer and only lasted 2 months after she was diagnosed. Cancer sucks doesn't it?
This CSN group is great though and so many are feeling the same way & can relate to what we say. I will stay on the meds. Guess she wants me to be on them for 3-4 more months.
My husband died in March so just hit the 6th month of being without him. Still miss him so darn much and still find myself wanting to comment to him when I'm watching TV. But when I look over he's not there. Take care! "Carole"

closs86 · October 2010

3Mana said:
One on one
Karen,
Glad you decided to see a therapist one on one. I feel it's so much better even though I have a great family and lots of friends. It's nice talking to someone who is totally not related and understands what we're going through. I had asked her about a breavement group and she said sometimes that can be more depressing listening to everyones sad story.
I'm really sorry to hear about your husband. My mom had also died of pancreatic cancer and only lasted 2 months after she was diagnosed. Cancer sucks doesn't it?
This CSN group is great though and so many are feeling the same way & can relate to what we say. I will stay on the meds. Guess she wants me to be on them for 3-4 more months.
My husband died in March so just hit the 6th month of being without him. Still miss him so darn much and still find myself wanting to comment to him when I'm watching TV. But when I look over he's not there. Take care! "Carole"

Hi Carole
Don't be in a rush to get off your meds, if you feel o k, don't look for trouble, not yet, and if you want to say something to him while you are watching TV, say it, I do, I talk to him, yell at him, ask him things, the therapist says that is good, to speak out loud to them,
Pancreatic seems to be one of the worst, it just spreads so much before you know that you have it., all cancer sucks.
Take care
Karen

Counseling??

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