Fear of discrimination

Victoria1566
Victoria1566 Member Posts: 23
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
It has been over a year now since my battle with cancer began and I'm doing great. I'm cancer free and moving on with my life. I started a new job a couple of weeks ago and no one at my new job knows about the cancer. I silently sit while they talk about others in the organization who have suffered through treatment. I always feel like they talk about survivors as if they will never be 100% again, and I don't want them to think they made a mistake hiring me. I work very hard and come home completely exhausted. Will I ever be 100%? That question pulls down my self-confidence. Pain and swelling hamper my attempts to get into an exercise routine. Maybe there is a new normal that I have to come to terms with. Maybe I just need to try harder. Maybe I need to get to bed because it is after ten and I have to be at work tomorrow at 7:30....Good Night

v.

Comments

  • Victoria1566
    Victoria1566 Member Posts: 23
    #2
    Reply to myself. I have read the posts on here for a year and I'm very very fortunate. I need to stop whinning and be happy with the great life that I have!! A year ago I was miserable and afraid. Now my biggest complaint is that I'm tired. Now, that is progress!!!

    v.
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #3
    Hang in there Victoria
    It just seems like so many people are getting cancer. It's just crazy!

    It's hard to say but I guess before I felt and thought that I was the only one singled out with cancer. But in the past several years, I'm starting to feel like it's a fast growing minority as it's becoming all too common to see woman walking around "naked" or scarved at work and at stores.

    I guess my point is you shouldn't feel like you can't contribute to the work force because you had cancer. It does bring on physical challenges but like you said, it's just going to be finding your groove. What works for you.

    Don't under estimate the power of walking. It's simple and less strenuous to your arms. And trying to get at least 8 hours wouldn't hurt!

    Congratulations on your new job!!

    Hugs,

    Sylvia
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #4
    sea60 said:

    Hang in there Victoria
    It just seems like so many people are getting cancer. It's just crazy!

    It's hard to say but I guess before I felt and thought that I was the only one singled out with cancer. But in the past several years, I'm starting to feel like it's a fast growing minority as it's becoming all too common to see woman walking around "naked" or scarved at work and at stores.

    I guess my point is you shouldn't feel like you can't contribute to the work force because you had cancer. It does bring on physical challenges but like you said, it's just going to be finding your groove. What works for you.

    Don't under estimate the power of walking. It's simple and less strenuous to your arms. And trying to get at least 8 hours wouldn't hurt!

    Congratulations on your new job!!

    Hugs,

    Sylvia

    I walk and do pilates the
    I walk and do pilates the pilates is very gentle. I have been pretty tired to and find i make myself do things. My friend is a personal trainer and she pushes me too. I want to feel strong, so i plug along, somedays better than others. Perhaps when you feel more confident in you place a t your job, you can be more open about things.
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #5
    Victoria1566 said:

    Reply to myself. I have read the posts on here for a year and I'm very very fortunate. I need to stop whinning and be happy with the great life that I have!! A year ago I was miserable and afraid. Now my biggest complaint is that I'm tired. Now, that is progress!!!

    v.

    It's not whinning...just "venting". And we all need that sometime.

    I know I'll never be the same (physically) as I was before cancer and that was hard to accept. But like you, it's far easier to choose to count the many blessings that we do have.

    You and I (and many) have come a long way!

    Now we should both get to bed as we need to be at work early...LOL!!!

    Good night Sister :)
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #6
    sea60 said:

    It's not whinning...just "venting". And we all need that sometime.

    I know I'll never be the same (physically) as I was before cancer and that was hard to accept. But like you, it's far easier to choose to count the many blessings that we do have.

    You and I (and many) have come a long way!

    Now we should both get to bed as we need to be at work early...LOL!!!

    Good night Sister :)

    I'm with Victoria ... will I ever get back to my 'normal'
    before breast cancer -? I am tired, frustrated and angry. The fun never stops, or shall I re-phase by stating .. the after efforts, never stop. Whinning my way to the start of another day ..



    Vicki Sam
  • shy violet
    shy violet Member Posts: 167
    #7
    Dear V: Where I was
    Dear V: Where I was blindsided was from the HR Dept and INSURANCE...the HR people never mentioned that if you have certain medical illnesses such as cancer, that some of the insurance would not cover me for a minimum of two years...I always thought that large corporation insurance couldn't do that, but they can. So I had to pay every paycheck for insurance I couldn't even get coverage for...and since the "open window" of enrollment had passed, I was SOL...I highly advise working people to read their policy at work carefully...love, shy
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #8
    shy violet said:

    Dear V: Where I was
    Dear V: Where I was blindsided was from the HR Dept and INSURANCE...the HR people never mentioned that if you have certain medical illnesses such as cancer, that some of the insurance would not cover me for a minimum of two years...I always thought that large corporation insurance couldn't do that, but they can. So I had to pay every paycheck for insurance I couldn't even get coverage for...and since the "open window" of enrollment had passed, I was SOL...I highly advise working people to read their policy at work carefully...love, shy

    Shy Violet .. I am right there with you .. Having faced
    14 months of chemo therapy, job lost, 7 surgeries - my medical insurance runs out 9/30/10. No insurance broker, insurance agencies .. Kraiser included will TOUCH me, let alone offer me insurance cover.

    Victoria .. Please make sure of your insurance options - a pre-existing medical condition are all the rage .. new buzz word in the insurance world. This is not discrimination, but the world of 'Pre-Existing' conditions .. ie - Cancer.


    Vicki Sam
  • Brooklynchele
    Brooklynchele Member Posts: 123
    #9
    Hang in there!
    Victoria, Please don't let the comments of others get you down! You are a survivor and I am so happy that you are 1 year cancer free. Like you I have been nervous about my job. the difference for me is that I have only been in my position for 7 months and I was just diagnosed in June. I have at least until Dec/Jan for treatment.

    You are not under any obligation to share your medical history with your employer. You should do what feels right to you. If you are performing your job then your employer has no reason to complain.

    I am not on the "other end" like you but I too have been trying to work and am exhausted. Our bodies have been through a difficult time and they will take time to fully recover. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You don't need to measure your self-confidence based on your level of exhaustion. You are moving forward and that's what counts.

    Hang in there you are not alone!

    Michele
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294 Member
    #10
    Brooklynchele said:

    Hang in there!
    Victoria, Please don't let the comments of others get you down! You are a survivor and I am so happy that you are 1 year cancer free. Like you I have been nervous about my job. the difference for me is that I have only been in my position for 7 months and I was just diagnosed in June. I have at least until Dec/Jan for treatment.

    You are not under any obligation to share your medical history with your employer. You should do what feels right to you. If you are performing your job then your employer has no reason to complain.

    I am not on the "other end" like you but I too have been trying to work and am exhausted. Our bodies have been through a difficult time and they will take time to fully recover. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You don't need to measure your self-confidence based on your level of exhaustion. You are moving forward and that's what counts.

    Hang in there you are not alone!

    Michele

    I am with you Victoria
    very similar situation- just started new job 2 months ago. I do not care weather or not I will be 100% back anymore. My focus and I would suggest to everyone: weather or not I can perform my responsibilities well. I decided forget about "career advances" and like what I do at the pace I am capable of. Victoria It will be better, just be gentle to yourself.

    i have a question to Shy Violet about insurance:
    Were denied coverage by big corporation?

    New Flower
  • shy violet
    shy violet Member Posts: 167
    #11
    New Flower said:

    I am with you Victoria
    very similar situation- just started new job 2 months ago. I do not care weather or not I will be 100% back anymore. My focus and I would suggest to everyone: weather or not I can perform my responsibilities well. I decided forget about "career advances" and like what I do at the pace I am capable of. Victoria It will be better, just be gentle to yourself.

    i have a question to Shy Violet about insurance:
    Were denied coverage by big corporation?

    New Flower

    Hi New Flower, I went to
    Hi New Flower, I went to work for a large corporation...didn't even think to ask about pre-existing condition clauses working for a big company. I have always thought that corporate insurance has to give you group benefits without question. Yes, There are different areas within the corporate health policy that won't pay out or you cannot receive full benefits for at least two years. It was not mentioned, and so if you have corporate health insurance you may want to ask HR privately about that. Again tricky if you are trying to protect your HIPPA rights and privacy...
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #12
    Don't you know???
    Victoria,

    we will never be "normal". We have been on a journey that took a LOT of courage and endurance.
    And most people are terrified of just putting foot on the place we found ourselves in.

    We saw life in a whole new perspective and appreciate it more than most people around us. Our
    experiences mold us and make us who we are.

    This is what I tell myself when people make me feel that way...

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • Victoria1566
    Victoria1566 Member Posts: 23
    #13
    Thank you to everyone
    TGIF!!!!!

    This week has been very difficult because I have been fighting a virus on top of everything else. I didn't have sick leave so I went to work, took cold meds on top of my arimidex and felt dizzy all day. I'm thrilled that I can turn that alarm off and sleep as long as I want in the morning.

    I used to be in HR and now am in Career Services at a college. One of the reasons I made the switch is because I often felt like I was working against the welfare of the individuals working for the company when I was in HR.

    The fears about insurance coverage are valid. When I switched jobs several weeks ago the new insurance company sent me a letter saying I had to send them a certificate of coverage from my old insurance company proving that there was no break in coverage. If I didn't get that certificate to them by the deadline they established, they made it clear that pre-existing conditions would not be covered. No one at the new company or old company advised me about this, so if I wouldn't have read that letter carefully I might have missed it.

    HR departments and insurance companies are not your friend. I wish that wasn't the case but after you accept that fact you read everything carefully, ask a lot of questions and document the answers the answers you get.

    v.

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