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luz del lago
luz del lago Member Posts: 449
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Today was the second day of brain radiation. So far, so good. My hubby has been blessed with no side-effects, just a slight headache early this evening, which was handled with Tylenol.
To kick-off the treatment, our dear son took us to Dallas to see the Bears and Cowboys game. The Bears won, which is a good thing, since they are Bear fans!
I'm kinda running on auto-pilot right now, as these will be a long 2 weeks. The treatment only takes 10 minutes, but it is an hour drive there and back!
The first week of October he will begin once a month Zomeda treatments. Lord willing it will slow the bone cancer down.
I'm still working on our relationship issue, not so much between him and I, as my acceptance that this may be how it is until whenever. Today as he was going in to his treatment, I whispered a blessing to him, his come back, instead of a simple thank you, was to ridicule my prayer for him. I think I know that he may think it's humorous and maybe that is his way of dealing with all of this, but it stung like a bee sting, and you know how it keeps stinging until you can pull the stinger out? Well, that's what I worked on today, pulling the stinger out! I didn't say anything or react to his "smart" comment. But I will be discussing the concept of perhaps saying something back to him, such as, "a thank you would have been sufficient, or ok, I'll keep my blessings and prayers to myself", with my therapist. It may help the "stinger" come out faster!
I pray that this finds you all well. "Hang in there, Baby!"

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    Prayers
    My prayers are with you. We can't change other's behaviors, but we can change how we react to them. Praying for him can help you find peace, so keep it up. I think I would just tell him that the prayers are for you, not him since he doesn't seem to think he needs them. In the mean time, I will pray for both of you. Take care, Fay
  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #3
    grandmafay said:

    Prayers
    My prayers are with you. We can't change other's behaviors, but we can change how we react to them. Praying for him can help you find peace, so keep it up. I think I would just tell him that the prayers are for you, not him since he doesn't seem to think he needs them. In the mean time, I will pray for both of you. Take care, Fay

    Prayers
    Thank you, Fay. I will do that. God bless, Lucy
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #4
    Blessings
    Lcuy, We all say blessings , Maybe he was scared and that was a knee jerk reaction, and he said it wrong way to you. Don't stop the blessings , say them for you.
    We all need to find ways of dealing with the sometimes hurtful things we hear. Me I just think blessings cause I say them to god for my husband.
    I am sorry that you were hurt. I know that does sting . I wish I could help better. All I know is that we have to remember they are sick and scared and hurting too. So somethings we need to just let goof all it does is make our day worse.
    Say your blessing to god! He will hear you and understand and no judgement will be passed.
  • lovingwifedeb
    lovingwifedeb Member Posts: 183
    #5
    Guy Time
    Lucy,

    "Sorry", I know you are probably getting tired by now hearing this word by most of us don't really know how to fix this for you. You do have a good handle on this I can tell by your response to his cutting remarks back to you. Building up your thick skin will help you out in the future but doesn't fix your need to "fix" him does it? Just accept it Lucy, he is who is... a touch man inside.

    It's good to hear he got some "guy time"... I hope there will be more of that for him. He should feel that life goes on as normal as possible. All I can say is that I know fear is ruling him not that I am trying to excuse his behavior. If he was like that to you before the cancer then certainly his behavior will be magnified now.

    I am glad you have a counselor to talk with, you are one step ahead than most of us. One day you will be the consoling and wise one on this discussion board giving us words of advise.

    Keep "hanging in there".

    Deb
    lovingwife to Bob, stage 3c

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