Am i being sensitive?

carkris
carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have to admit it was a weird day for me. Although I am happy to be getting back to my life, I am also frightened. What is my new normal going to be.? I have a physically and mentally demanding job and wonder how that will be. So I finished PT today been doing PT for at least 9 months. I felt sad to leave a place that was so supportive of me in so many ways. Mt PT was so awesome. But am glad I am strong enough to do this on my own. but was a little weepy. ANYway
I go on another site that has nothing to do with cancer. but people were posting about people they know with cancer, how they no longer go on caring bridge sites unless they know the people really well and how hard it is for them to hear about. It seemed to me so selfish, I wanted to write that I wouldnt want anyone on my caring bridge site(dont have one) who didnt know me or my family well so dont think so much of yourself. It also felt like that Us vs them mentality that you always have to deal with. "If I dont hear about it I wont get it" They know what I have been through (not details but some) I just though it was insensitive. One time someone Pm'd me about a friend with cancer and what they should do, and ended it with "I guess people with cancer are like everyone else" I was flabbergasted! I did respond and told them how I felt, basically that if its hard for you to hear about its harder to have it. That 1 in 3 people would have it in their lifetime. etc.. Anyway it really made me teary, and I just had to say something. I just felt alienated. anyway I am not a part of their "core" but I post often enough to deserve some consideration. My wise 17 year old said "mom people are afraid they will get it" and to take a break from it. Most of the time I pretty much teflon it after dealing with this so long, but today just couldnt do it. sorry for the long rant just been a weird day I guess!

Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #2
    Penny
    it is normal what you feel. Yes, please do not go there anymore. As for physical demand on a job I completely understand. If you can do part time it will be easy. I could find a part-time for my profession, 3 months ago I returned to a full time. It is tough for me even I love my job! If you and your doctors can give you extra time to recover- take it. You will be much stronger with two months than now.
    Hugs,
    New Flower
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #3
    Miss Penny.....it comes as
    Miss Penny.....it comes as no surprise to me that you posted this! I know first hand what a caring, yes SENSITIVE person you are, and it is in no way a perjorative word! None of us wanted to ever be here, none of us wnated to know first hand what it is like to do battle with the Beast. None of us ever wanted to fight it again...or again, or again. And yet, we do, don't we?

    You have been one of my ever-faithful stalwarts since my recurrance...your connection not just with me, but with others here on the boards is phenomenal.

    So~ all that having been said~who knows really what any of our "new normals" will be? Our struggles, though emotional, stem from what happened to us physically. Those who we work with? We don't know about them, do we? Their struggles with alcohol, or depression, or abuse, or pornography,or the trials and tribulations of raising children, or simply rotten Mothers In Law! We all carry something...none of us has a perfect life. But you knew that already. Which once again makes this board the perfect venting place!

    Carry on sweet Penny! Have good days, great days, awesome days and all of the days in-between! YOu have learned so much on this journey; let it color your vision in a good way.

    I love you!
    Chen7hearts;
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #4
    Your son is very wise. I
    Your son is very wise. I have also encountered a "blame the victim" mentality often over the years: if you did or didn't do x, y, or z, you wouldn't have cancer. I don't think folks mean to be insensitive, I really think they are scared to death. Having said that, I don't hang around the idiots much and do tend to surround myself with supportive folks such as the ones here, my family, and, lucky for me, my awesome co-workers. You are not being sensitive; they are being insensitive! But hang in there as, after you heal some more, they will bother you much less!
  • reeseslover1234
    reeseslover1234 Member Posts: 87
    #5
    I've had days like that!
    I'm almost 9 mos. out from chemo and I still have days that I have weird thoughts and feelings. There are days I also have negative thoughts, but I remember how grateful I am to have my life and my family. I wish there was a guide book for "after cancer life". It is different and people automatically think you go back to being the same person you were. That's impossible, because of what we've been through. I feel like I'm a better person for it, but I wish I'd come about it in a different way. LOL Anyway, these feelings are normal and you might have days like that occassionally, but mostly it's ok, and that's what we have to focus on. Best wishes

    Reese

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