cancer as a punishment I was told

survivor31
survivor31 Member Posts: 72
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
hi all i hope all is well I just came from trying to go out to eat with some of my family members and the topic of my cancer of course comes up my aunt said she beleived that I did something wrong to make God give me cancer I was shocked and upset over this comment for I know this is not true she says it was a punishment for something ive done and I need to look back over my life and see what it was, why god would do this, this is comeing from a lady that says she is a christian im upset over it but if I can fight cancer and beat it I refuse to be defeated by her words or oppion ive feelt and heard worser than that with my cancer battle this should be nothing but it dose hurt. as long as I know im in Gods hands thats all that matter God bless u all
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Comments

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #2
    You Know the Truth, We Know the Truth
    Sometimes people just don't think about what they say.

    I'm sure that someone whom thinks that way, there is not a lot that you can say to argue your point. At least not anything that will change their opinions....sometimes you just have to consider the source.

    You know it's not true, we know it's not true, ....that's all that matters.

    Just concentrate on positive thoughts, and surrond yourself with positive people.

    You will definitely come out a better person than you were going in to this oreal.

    Best and God Bless,
    John
  • alwaysforhim
    alwaysforhim Member Posts: 14
    #3
    totally ridiculous
    I know that had to be painful to hear, but totally untrue. The Lord is not punishing you, he is giving you a mission, which I'm sure you will exceed in. If anything, during our trial my spouse and I have become more aware. We are learning to love our time together and adore our children and grandchildren. The only lesson the Lord has taught me is to be Thankful for the Life he gave us.
  • survivor31
    survivor31 Member Posts: 72
    #4
    Skiffin16 said:

    You Know the Truth, We Know the Truth
    Sometimes people just don't think about what they say.

    I'm sure that someone whom thinks that way, there is not a lot that you can say to argue your point. At least not anything that will change their opinions....sometimes you just have to consider the source.

    You know it's not true, we know it's not true, ....that's all that matters.

    Just concentrate on positive thoughts, and surrond yourself with positive people.

    You will definitely come out a better person than you were going in to this oreal.

    Best and God Bless,
    John

    thanks john you are so right
    thanks john you are so right
  • survivor31
    survivor31 Member Posts: 72
    #5
    alwaysforhim said:

    totally ridiculous
    I know that had to be painful to hear, but totally untrue. The Lord is not punishing you, he is giving you a mission, which I'm sure you will exceed in. If anything, during our trial my spouse and I have become more aware. We are learning to love our time together and adore our children and grandchildren. The only lesson the Lord has taught me is to be Thankful for the Life he gave us.

    always. thats right also im
    alaways. thats right also im learning to appreciate life more scince going through this it has made me not take things for granted, God bless you both
  • train-nut
    train-nut Member Posts: 101
    #6
    Skiffin16 said:

    You Know the Truth, We Know the Truth
    Sometimes people just don't think about what they say.

    I'm sure that someone whom thinks that way, there is not a lot that you can say to argue your point. At least not anything that will change their opinions....sometimes you just have to consider the source.

    You know it's not true, we know it's not true, ....that's all that matters.

    Just concentrate on positive thoughts, and surrond yourself with positive people.

    You will definitely come out a better person than you were going in to this oreal.

    Best and God Bless,
    John

    Punishment
    With all due respect to your aunt, she is wrong. God did not give us this disease to punish us. Please continue to concentrate on gaining your health back. When I was diagnosed I was told something similar to what you were and it angers me just to think of it. It made me all the more determined to beat the cancer...hope you have the same reaction. Too bad we can't pick our family. I wish you the best of health, Rich
  • fisrpotpe
    fisrpotpe Member Posts: 1,349 Member
    #7
    Very Much Not True
    I have heard this, absorbed this and let it go. Our God does not to hurt anyone! Give him praise for helping you win you fight, Your Aunt is wrong for saying this. Just let it go you will be a better person for it.

    If you dwell on it, it will hurt. With your positive attitude you will not be dwelling.

    Keep that smile going!
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #8
    survivor31 said:

    always. thats right also im
    alaways. thats right also im learning to appreciate life more scince going through this it has made me not take things for granted, God bless you both

    sure would like to meet your aunt
    And give her a piece of my mind.

    Survivor31, in no way are you being punished.

    First of all, Christians are called to be Christ-like and I see nothing of that in her comments to you.

    Second, Sweetie, the day will come when your aunt will have some illness - sure would like to hear her take on it at that time.

    Third, wonder what she things four-year olds are being punished for when they are diagnosed with cancer? Sheesh.

    Next time you have a family dinner - please don't invite her! You don't need to be around people like her whether you have cancer or not!
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #9
    Sorry you're stuck with an ignorant family member
    Wow - your aunt was a real lulu with that "punishment" comment. You could tell her that we can't pretend to know why some things happen. If you were "given" cancer by God, maybe it was as part of the "big plan", maybe it's vitally important that someone see you succeed in your battle, and be inspired by you. Maybe the experiences you've gained will help you with things you need to do in the future. And that's why he "gave" you the disease. Like Skiffen said, though - I doubt she'd listen.

    One saying I love is "This is a case of mind over matter. The people who mind don't matter, and the folks who matter don't mind." Keep doing well.
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #10
    fisrpotpe said:

    Very Much Not True
    I have heard this, absorbed this and let it go. Our God does not to hurt anyone! Give him praise for helping you win you fight, Your Aunt is wrong for saying this. Just let it go you will be a better person for it.

    If you dwell on it, it will hurt. With your positive attitude you will not be dwelling.

    Keep that smile going!

    Are you related to me?
    Some of my relatives seem to suffer from diahreha of the mouth too. I'm sorry that she said that to you. That is very awful thing to say to someone. As the others said it's so untrue. I was born with a rare genetic blood disorder. What did I do at conception that God punished me?? I used to ignore the stupid comments people make but you know over this last year I've been speaking up a little more and letting them know I don't appreciate their comments.
  • team stevens
    team stevens Member Posts: 46
    #11
    survivor31 said:

    always. thats right also im
    alaways. thats right also im learning to appreciate life more scince going through this it has made me not take things for granted, God bless you both

    a ministry in the making
    It's obvious you are a woman of faith, so stand firm on it. you have to make sure you cover yourself in prayer daily. mike & i say a prayer every morning to cancel all harmful words, prayers & even looks. sometimes it's the people closest to you that can't handle what we're going through. Just remember that God has a plan for your life & nothing anyone says can change that.
    love & prayers
  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
    #12
    Hi
    Please know how false this is. You are a beutiful person, who got a horrible diease.
    I has a coworker who use to say that until her husband got kidney cancer. I believe she quickly learned how hurtful it is to say stupid things. I don't think people put any thought in to what they say.

    Kathy
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #13
    Hi Survivor

    She needs to read her Bible if she is saying she is a Christian look this is Jesus speaking John 9: 1-3

    1: And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.2: And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3: Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

    The works of God are being made manifest in you and he will make you perfect for his will to be done. Don’t let people who pretend to be Christ like give you negative feeling about your self, you are a child of God and he love you and died for you. The one thing Cancer did for me was to help me grow closer to knowing my savior and Friend Jesus.

    God bless you in his Work Shop
  • team stevens
    team stevens Member Posts: 46
    #14
    Hondo said:

    Hi Survivor

    She needs to read her Bible if she is saying she is a Christian look this is Jesus speaking John 9: 1-3

    1: And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.2: And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3: Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

    The works of God are being made manifest in you and he will make you perfect for his will to be done. Don’t let people who pretend to be Christ like give you negative feeling about your self, you are a child of God and he love you and died for you. The one thing Cancer did for me was to help me grow closer to knowing my savior and Friend Jesus.

    God bless you in his Work Shop

    Good Word Hondo!
    well said, & it's clear you're doing the work of His kingdom here.

    God Bless You
  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
    #15
    Skiffin16 said:

    You Know the Truth, We Know the Truth
    Sometimes people just don't think about what they say.

    I'm sure that someone whom thinks that way, there is not a lot that you can say to argue your point. At least not anything that will change their opinions....sometimes you just have to consider the source.

    You know it's not true, we know it's not true, ....that's all that matters.

    Just concentrate on positive thoughts, and surrond yourself with positive people.

    You will definitely come out a better person than you were going in to this oreal.

    Best and God Bless,
    John

    STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF
    Wow, the crap that seems to flow from the mouths of others. Maybe the people that say this stuff are actually feeling a little guilty about the way they live their own lives. We all know people who have smoked 2-3 packs of Cigs for 40 years and totally abused their bodies and no cancer, no liver cirosis, ETC. I have even commented privately about people I know who I felt "why me and not them". I believe the answer is completely unknown and at any given time, any individual on this planet can become terminally ill for an unknown reason.

    I will admit the time(s) I may have thought about "you deserve it" is when I am in the same waiting room as someone else in line to get their daily dose of Rads, and then I see them in the parking garage "hot boxing marlboros two at a time."

    Of course you can have bad habits than can assist in an illness, but explaing the pro athlete who does everything right and drops dead on the field.

    In short, we cannot fix stupid!!

    have a great evening all!!

    Mike
  • Kent Cass
    Kent Cass Member Posts: 1,898 Member
    #16
    Hondo said:

    Hi Survivor

    She needs to read her Bible if she is saying she is a Christian look this is Jesus speaking John 9: 1-3

    1: And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.2: And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3: Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

    The works of God are being made manifest in you and he will make you perfect for his will to be done. Don’t let people who pretend to be Christ like give you negative feeling about your self, you are a child of God and he love you and died for you. The one thing Cancer did for me was to help me grow closer to knowing my savior and Friend Jesus.

    God bless you in his Work Shop

    So sorry-
    Survivor, that your Aunt said this. Sorry for you, and sorry for her, as her words reveal much about her, and the God she believes in.

    Likely what's in play, here, is just ignorance, Survivor. She probably didn't mean to allegedly step into God's shoes, or take His place, when she was speaking. And, she probably didn't mean to cast those words of judgement upon God's Being, either. Wonder what God thinks of her, now...Needless to say, you now know a lot about her, especially in regards to what she thinks of you, unfortunately. And, you now know "the condition" of her religious beliefs, which would seem to have it's own disease (anger and ignorance) going-on.

    A fool blames God for the C which has befallen us. Yes, there is no denying He has allowed it/C to happen, because it has. So it is with most things, though, both good and bad. Such is life, and our history is what we do with the good and bad that defines us as the people we are. That's life, and the Lord is always there to help us thru that which comes our way, like the footprints in the sand tell of. Perhaps, Survivor, that which has befallen you is that which allows you to become closer to, and more knowing of, the true Lord than your Aunt is, or will ever be...And, hey, you know this whole thing about some character named Jesus who lived a long time ago, and said some things that are still on record in the back pages of a Book a lotta people have heard of...I reckon a large part of Christ's Mission is still one very strange mystery to your Aunt.

    Yes, Survivor, I should think your forgiving your Aunt for what she said to you could trump, bigtime, all the negative she was throwing your way. That doesn't mean you have to let her know about it, or even want to talk to her again. Just forgive her, learn from her exhibition of what it's like to carry her disease, and move on as the really good person you are; and, as Christian,

    Believe

    kcass
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #17
    Kent Cass said:

    So sorry-
    Survivor, that your Aunt said this. Sorry for you, and sorry for her, as her words reveal much about her, and the God she believes in.

    Likely what's in play, here, is just ignorance, Survivor. She probably didn't mean to allegedly step into God's shoes, or take His place, when she was speaking. And, she probably didn't mean to cast those words of judgement upon God's Being, either. Wonder what God thinks of her, now...Needless to say, you now know a lot about her, especially in regards to what she thinks of you, unfortunately. And, you now know "the condition" of her religious beliefs, which would seem to have it's own disease (anger and ignorance) going-on.

    A fool blames God for the C which has befallen us. Yes, there is no denying He has allowed it/C to happen, because it has. So it is with most things, though, both good and bad. Such is life, and our history is what we do with the good and bad that defines us as the people we are. That's life, and the Lord is always there to help us thru that which comes our way, like the footprints in the sand tell of. Perhaps, Survivor, that which has befallen you is that which allows you to become closer to, and more knowing of, the true Lord than your Aunt is, or will ever be...And, hey, you know this whole thing about some character named Jesus who lived a long time ago, and said some things that are still on record in the back pages of a Book a lotta people have heard of...I reckon a large part of Christ's Mission is still one very strange mystery to your Aunt.

    Yes, Survivor, I should think your forgiving your Aunt for what she said to you could trump, bigtime, all the negative she was throwing your way. That doesn't mean you have to let her know about it, or even want to talk to her again. Just forgive her, learn from her exhibition of what it's like to carry her disease, and move on as the really good person you are; and, as Christian,

    Believe

    kcass

    Awesome posts Hondo and
    Awesome posts Hondo and Kent.
  • GraceLibby
    GraceLibby Member Posts: 88
    #18
    Speaking of ignorant relatives
    This ought to tickle your funny bone. We have a large golden retriever, who probably should be brushed more often. It was overheard by a friend of mine, from my brother who firmly believes that I got cancer because I inhale too much dog fur. The dog fur carries germs into my throat and irritated the lining of my tonsil and Voila! No mention of HPV at all.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #19
    GraceLibby said:

    Speaking of ignorant relatives
    This ought to tickle your funny bone. We have a large golden retriever, who probably should be brushed more often. It was overheard by a friend of mine, from my brother who firmly believes that I got cancer because I inhale too much dog fur. The dog fur carries germs into my throat and irritated the lining of my tonsil and Voila! No mention of HPV at all.

    Dog
    Would that be called DGC / Dog gone Cancer
  • survivor31
    survivor31 Member Posts: 72
    #20
    Hondo said:

    Dog
    Would that be called DGC / Dog gone Cancer

    Thanks everyone u guys are the best; )
    all of youre feedback and understanding means more to me than you all will ever no and makes me feel a whole lot better Im just gone forgive and move on bless u all
  • micktissue
    micktissue Member Posts: 430
    #21
    sorry for what you experienced
    People try in various ways to make sense of the senseless and sometimes what they come up with is, for the most part, painfully silly. What your aunt came up with was simply painful. However, I LOVE what you wrote: "I refuse to be defeated by her words". That is so powerful and I am so proud of you for feeling and stating that.

    No matter what anyone says NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER!

    Best,

    Mick

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