Police escort - divorce

pattyanny
pattyanny Member Posts: 544
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
Hi again! Yes it is me, just needing to vent. I had hubby served on Wednesday with an Order of Protection, and removal from the home. It was not pretty. He had previously stated he would never leave. Well, surprise! He must be furious! He is out - until court on Monday, where the judge will decide if he is allowed back into the home. I pray he will not. He has a place to live 10 minutes away, at his parents home. It is empty, and cannot be sold for 6 months.
For the first time in many months, I actually sat in my living room, and watched t.v.!!!
I am so relieved, and am concentrating on gaining the weight I have lost since I served him with the papers 2 weeks ago. (sigh) I pray he takes the time to think about how it has come to this point. I know I would never have been able to do this years ago, and really HATE to say this, but fighting Cancer has given me strength, and a new perspective on life. I never realized how mean, and belittling my husband could be, and I thank God for opening my eyes.
I want to spend what ever God-given time on this earth doing His work, loving, laughing,
and stopping to smell the flowers! :)
Please pray the Lord softens his heart.
Wishing you all love & healing. Thanks for listening! Patty
P.S. The picture is of my son donating his hair last week! :)

Comments

  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    #2
    Been there done that !
    Patty,

    I know how stressful those events can be although I was never dealing with a cancer diagnosis on top of everything else. You have been through much tougher situations than what occurred on Wednesday but that doesn't make it any easier.

    Some people learn so much about themselves and the things that really matter in life while living with cancer, the treatments, and the emotional effects. These are the people who use the situation to grow and improve their lives.

    For the rest of the population - it's only about them - and the world will never be any other way - they can only see how events relate to what they want or affect their lives. We can only hope their hearts will soften but it's not likely.

    In the meantime, we take our new priorities and spread the love, connection, and affection for life because we now know these are the only important aspects of our short journey here.

    Bask in the freedom of being able to enjoy life the way you know it was meant to be lived.

    And bravo to you for setting him free so that he can pursue his way of life without making yours hell.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
    Prayers
    Just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings, Fay
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #4
    Take care
    Lots of volatile emotions right now in your husband - please watch your back and take care of yourself.

    Let us hear from you - often!
  • ellie325
    ellie325 Member Posts: 15
    #5
    strength
    Funny how something so difficult and make things in your life so clear.It's also true that good can come out of bad. My mom has colon cancer and it's not looking to good.I am finding how strong my faith in GOD is. I have been divorced from a police officer for about 20 yrs. I understand your relief and how impossible it was to live with a person who is so controlling and SELFISH. Be confident in your self go down the road YOU want. I am in the process I growing my hair to donate in honor of my mom. I have about 12 inchesnow. Just have to find time to get it cut now. You and your son are in my prayers
  • ellie325
    ellie325 Member Posts: 15
    #6
    strength
    Funny how something so difficult and make things in your life so clear.It's also true that good can come out of bad. My mom has colon cancer and it's not looking to good.I am finding how strong my faith in GOD is. I have been divorced from a police officer for about 20 yrs. I understand your relief and how impossible it was to live with a person who is so controlling and SELFISH. Be confident in your self go down the road YOU want. I am in the process I growing my hair to donate in honor of my mom. I have about 12 inchesnow. Just have to find time to get it cut now. You and your son are in my prayers
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #7
    Hang in there Patty
    Patty,
    I am sorry you have to have all this on you. But there is a silver linning you are finding and remembering who you are and that you are worth it. I will be pulling for you. I do not see how a judge would let him back into that house. I hope the judge gives him the what for!
    I know you will gain back the weight and things will turn around for you.
    Good luck
    Jennie
  • SamsWife
    SamsWife Member Posts: 50
    #8
    Patty ~
    Oh I have so much

    Patty ~

    Oh I have so much hope for you!!! You sound like such a sweetheart! You hang in there and fight the good fight for your peace and happiness! Lots of love and hugs and peace, peace, peace. It's so great to be able to remember the world without all of that negative energy! Joy to you!

    Tina
  • davexx
    davexx Member Posts: 55
    #9
    Patty,Just read your post
    Patty,Just read your post along with many others and can't beleive the abuse some of you women are enduring.My best hopes for you.Protect yourself. As a 24/7 Caregiver to my wife I find your referring to your husband as a "MAN" insulting to my gender.(ps No personal insult taken)and I hope I did not offend. Smiles,dave
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #10
    davexx said:

    Patty,Just read your post
    Patty,Just read your post along with many others and can't beleive the abuse some of you women are enduring.My best hopes for you.Protect yourself. As a 24/7 Caregiver to my wife I find your referring to your husband as a "MAN" insulting to my gender.(ps No personal insult taken)and I hope I did not offend. Smiles,dave

    Patty you deserve to be happy
    Some people just suck the life right out of you. He sounds like one of them. Be careful during this time. Might want to ask the judge for a restraining order. When he is gone and this is over you will feel like a 100 lb weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I truely wish you the best and sheer happiness. Take care
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #11
    davexx said:

    Patty,Just read your post
    Patty,Just read your post along with many others and can't beleive the abuse some of you women are enduring.My best hopes for you.Protect yourself. As a 24/7 Caregiver to my wife I find your referring to your husband as a "MAN" insulting to my gender.(ps No personal insult taken)and I hope I did not offend. Smiles,dave

    God Bless You!
    Awww Dave no personal insult taken - just a much needed laugh! Hugs, Patty
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #12
    Update
    Thank you all for your supportive posts! You will never know how much I appreciate your kind words. It was a wonderful weekend of peace, with hubby ordered out for 4 days and actually eating and watching tv downstairs. I have spent the last year in my room.
    Unfortunately, today the judge ordered he be allowed back in the house! I am beside myself!
    I am locked in my bedroom, and have started boxing up my fav things. Hubby is taking this to trial and going to have my 15 year old testify! I am too exhausted to think of my next step, after packing boxes, and moving them to a friends home for safe keeping. I will not put my child thru this unnecessary drama. He also wants custody! HA! I don't think he would last a week with a 15 year old girl! :o Anyway, there has to be something wrong with the justice system, when a cancer survivor weighing in at 121 on a good day, afraid for her life. is left to deal with a SELFISH, angry, alcoholic, madman. (sigh)
    At least I have Jesus - He never lets go!
    So appreciative, tyvm, Patty

    P.S. I guess I will lose custody of my "Fat Boy" lazy butt cat, who is usually velcroed to me. :( Trying to keep the faith!
  • davexx
    davexx Member Posts: 55
    #13
    pattyanny said:

    Update
    Thank you all for your supportive posts! You will never know how much I appreciate your kind words. It was a wonderful weekend of peace, with hubby ordered out for 4 days and actually eating and watching tv downstairs. I have spent the last year in my room.
    Unfortunately, today the judge ordered he be allowed back in the house! I am beside myself!
    I am locked in my bedroom, and have started boxing up my fav things. Hubby is taking this to trial and going to have my 15 year old testify! I am too exhausted to think of my next step, after packing boxes, and moving them to a friends home for safe keeping. I will not put my child thru this unnecessary drama. He also wants custody! HA! I don't think he would last a week with a 15 year old girl! :o Anyway, there has to be something wrong with the justice system, when a cancer survivor weighing in at 121 on a good day, afraid for her life. is left to deal with a SELFISH, angry, alcoholic, madman. (sigh)
    At least I have Jesus - He never lets go!
    So appreciative, tyvm, Patty

    P.S. I guess I will lose custody of my "Fat Boy" lazy butt cat, who is usually velcroed to me. :( Trying to keep the faith!

    Patty,my wife has 6 cats but
    Patty,my wife has 6 cats but sorry we could'nt pick one to give up. (smile)
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #14
    pattyanny said:

    Update
    Thank you all for your supportive posts! You will never know how much I appreciate your kind words. It was a wonderful weekend of peace, with hubby ordered out for 4 days and actually eating and watching tv downstairs. I have spent the last year in my room.
    Unfortunately, today the judge ordered he be allowed back in the house! I am beside myself!
    I am locked in my bedroom, and have started boxing up my fav things. Hubby is taking this to trial and going to have my 15 year old testify! I am too exhausted to think of my next step, after packing boxes, and moving them to a friends home for safe keeping. I will not put my child thru this unnecessary drama. He also wants custody! HA! I don't think he would last a week with a 15 year old girl! :o Anyway, there has to be something wrong with the justice system, when a cancer survivor weighing in at 121 on a good day, afraid for her life. is left to deal with a SELFISH, angry, alcoholic, madman. (sigh)
    At least I have Jesus - He never lets go!
    So appreciative, tyvm, Patty

    P.S. I guess I will lose custody of my "Fat Boy" lazy butt cat, who is usually velcroed to me. :( Trying to keep the faith!

    Hang in there
    Hang in there sounds like a strange request, but it comes from the heart . I can not even begin to undertstand what you are going thru . I Think there is something wrong with a "man" who would put any woman thru this no matter what is going on. Added th cancer to it that makes it so sick (him) . I wish I was there I would punch him in the nose for you! (ha kidding I am only 4' 11 inches so it would be allot lower (the punch that is) .
    I hope you are getting help for friends and family. I am sorry about the cat. I have three but they are all so old you would have to carry them around.
    Jennie
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #15
    davexx said:

    Patty,my wife has 6 cats but
    Patty,my wife has 6 cats but sorry we could'nt pick one to give up. (smile)

    Awwwww
    I know what you mean! I wanted more, but my Oreo would have none of it! He is king of the castle! I know there are plenty out there that need rescuing, so if necessary, I too will be "the crazy cat lady" down the street! Lol! Thanks Dave!
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #16
    zinniemay said:

    Hang in there
    Hang in there sounds like a strange request, but it comes from the heart . I can not even begin to undertstand what you are going thru . I Think there is something wrong with a "man" who would put any woman thru this no matter what is going on. Added th cancer to it that makes it so sick (him) . I wish I was there I would punch him in the nose for you! (ha kidding I am only 4' 11 inches so it would be allot lower (the punch that is) .
    I hope you are getting help for friends and family. I am sorry about the cat. I have three but they are all so old you would have to carry them around.
    Jennie

    Thanks zinniemay
    I am hanging in there - by my fingernails! Hee hee! I know things will have a good outcome - eventually, because all is well with my soul. I know the Lord is with me.
    I would love to see that punch you would give hubby - it may just land - perfectly- right below the belt since you are only 4'11"! Lmbo! And thanks for being on my team! I may need a boxer! :)
    The cat will adjust, I haven't asked for custody though - hee hee - and they DO have a box to mark for that at the courthouse! How cute is that!
    Thanks for the cat offer - but it sounds like it would be more of a workout carrying the three of them around! :0
    God bless you, and those little creatures!
    Love & Prayers, Patty
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #17
    ms.sunshine said:

    Patty you deserve to be happy
    Some people just suck the life right out of you. He sounds like one of them. Be careful during this time. Might want to ask the judge for a restraining order. When he is gone and this is over you will feel like a 100 lb weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I truely wish you the best and sheer happiness. Take care

    Thanks
    Thank you Ms Sunshine! I know it will be a relief, but it is like the anticipation of your next PET. You are anxious as it approaches, and relieved when you get good news. Wishing you blessing & good health, Patty
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #18
    ellie325 said:

    strength
    Funny how something so difficult and make things in your life so clear.It's also true that good can come out of bad. My mom has colon cancer and it's not looking to good.I am finding how strong my faith in GOD is. I have been divorced from a police officer for about 20 yrs. I understand your relief and how impossible it was to live with a person who is so controlling and SELFISH. Be confident in your self go down the road YOU want. I am in the process I growing my hair to donate in honor of my mom. I have about 12 inchesnow. Just have to find time to get it cut now. You and your son are in my prayers

    Faith
    Yes Ellie, faith has carried me through my journey, and it will not fail me now. So sorry about your Mom. It is most difficult to see your Mom, who take care of you all your life, suffering. My Mom is in a Home since March, it has not been easy. But now, she has adjusted, and is doing better than me! :) God bless you on donating your hair - you are amazing! Thank you for the prayers, as you and your Mom will be in mine also.
    May God's healing hands be upon you Mom. Thank you for your post, I feel better.
    Love & Prayers, Patty
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #19
    pattyanny said:

    Thanks zinniemay
    I am hanging in there - by my fingernails! Hee hee! I know things will have a good outcome - eventually, because all is well with my soul. I know the Lord is with me.
    I would love to see that punch you would give hubby - it may just land - perfectly- right below the belt since you are only 4'11"! Lmbo! And thanks for being on my team! I may need a boxer! :)
    The cat will adjust, I haven't asked for custody though - hee hee - and they DO have a box to mark for that at the courthouse! How cute is that!
    Thanks for the cat offer - but it sounds like it would be more of a workout carrying the three of them around! :0
    God bless you, and those little creatures!
    Love & Prayers, Patty

    Judges
    Not surprised the judge allowed him back, stinks tho. Your daughter is old enough to decide who she wants to be with. You may have to move out.You need to have peace, and feel safe. Get a lawyer and get your fair share. This will be a long process to be free from him, but well worth it.
    I understand the fear, anxiety, restlessness, your nerves are shot you just tremble. I went thru a terrible divorce myself many years ago.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #20
    pattyanny said:

    Thanks zinniemay
    I am hanging in there - by my fingernails! Hee hee! I know things will have a good outcome - eventually, because all is well with my soul. I know the Lord is with me.
    I would love to see that punch you would give hubby - it may just land - perfectly- right below the belt since you are only 4'11"! Lmbo! And thanks for being on my team! I may need a boxer! :)
    The cat will adjust, I haven't asked for custody though - hee hee - and they DO have a box to mark for that at the courthouse! How cute is that!
    Thanks for the cat offer - but it sounds like it would be more of a workout carrying the three of them around! :0
    God bless you, and those little creatures!
    Love & Prayers, Patty

    If all esle fails
    Well Hon if all esle fails I have a peg leg and I can take it off and knock him out or we could put my foot in him mouth! Then you can say see you always put a foot in your mouth! I know making jokes is not always best but you have to remember you need to laugh and forget your troubles a little even if only a minute.
    I got into a fight (way in my younger days) I did beat a guy up I almost bite his nose off (looking back that does not sound so good) . I was a mean girl who always had to fight and claw my way out of things. As I have aged I have learned from these things! I prefer to love not fight but it makes me so mad to see some one like him do this ! Does not set well with me. So I would not fight (with punches) I would fight these days with my wit. I would take his butt to the clearners and from the sound of it he needs that! If he was not a good husband he sure would not be a good father. I think you need to be safe and not worry about him doing anything to you . I wish I could help > I surely would in a heart beat!
    I would take "His" cat! chances are he did or does not even know what a litter box is! Or changed one either.
    To bad he does not know what he is lossing ! You will be great! You seam like a very strong lady and I would be happy to call you friend.
    Jennie
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #21
    ms.sunshine said:

    Judges
    Not surprised the judge allowed him back, stinks tho. Your daughter is old enough to decide who she wants to be with. You may have to move out.You need to have peace, and feel safe. Get a lawyer and get your fair share. This will be a long process to be free from him, but well worth it.
    I understand the fear, anxiety, restlessness, your nerves are shot you just tremble. I went thru a terrible divorce myself many years ago.

    Second
    I second the idea of getting a lawyer. Don't try to do this alone. You shouldn't have to live in fear. Contact your local abused spouse group, too. Most areas have one. They can give you support and even help you move out if you need to do so. Take care. Fay

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