Leaking Chemo

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Comments

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #22
    Kathryn_in_MN said:

    Education
    Rather than getting mad, educate! Ignorance = fear. Any parent wants to protect their child from everything.

    Give her the information about chemo. Agree to a compromise. Do not hold the baby when you are hooked up to chemo and for 48-hours after disconnect. So for 5 days out of 14, you are deprived, but the other 9 you can get your fill of grandchild time!

    I realize just holding the child doesn't put them at risk like other activities that would include sharing any body fluids. But it seems fair to put the parent's minds at ease, but still get your time with the baby too.

    And they were there when
    And they were there when asked the onc, and also asked the chemo nurses, none saw a problem, as long as he wasn't sucking on me, which, of course we won't let happen.
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #23
    herdizziness said:

    Insulted
    I guess I wouldn't be so insulted, except I was okay, to babysit since the day the baby was born, and it was just last night I found out through my son, that she was ticked I had held him the night before because of my chemo.
    She never said a word to me about it, and apparently it's something she just decided the other night, after they got engaged, and she's the one that had me babysitting while she goes to the gym until the other day.
    Which leaves me extremely puzzled, and yes it is insulting, that she wouldn't ask me about it, or talk to me about it, that I find out through my son after 3 months of holding and watching over my grandson, she and I have never, when they argue (which isn't often) I never take sides, just tell them when they have a problem they'll work it out, and I lent them the $200.00 for the down payment for the ring (they already paid me back the next day), I buy diapers, formula, etc., so if it's power play, or just all of a sudden my chemo is bad, it's a surprise to me.

    Insults..


    When we had our son, my parents had sold their house and
    stayed with us until their new location was ready for them.

    Mom had a dog that seemed to crap everywhere, and even
    though it was in our semi-finished basement, it was still a mess.

    So mom put a diaper on that damned dog.. And she'd go change
    it several times a day.

    That went on for weeks. I was working and didn't pay much
    attention to what was going on.

    Finally on a weekend, I noticed that after mom changed the dog's
    diaper, I didn't hear the water run in the downstairs's sink. Holy
    %$^&**#... Mom wasn't washing her hands, coming upstairs
    and holding my newborn son after swapping the dog's diaper?

    I didn't know for sure, but......

    I mentioned it to my wife, and that's when she said that is was
    bothering her an awful lot, but she didn't want to say anything.

    Well..... -I- said something, and it wasn't all that pleasant.
    And.... of course, mom and dad moved out that week, in a huff..
    and we didn't talk for a few years....

    I learned later, that they blamed my wife, not me, thinking that
    she encouraged me to say something. My wife never did any
    such thing.... she never said anything to me, because they
    were my parents and she didn't want to start trouble.....

    Well gal.... I guess parents stick up for their lil' ones, and the
    spouses just take the hits... I read your words, and it sure looks
    like the same type scenario to me.

    Listen.... the kids are worried, just as all new parents worry.
    Maybe they never thought about it, and some friend mentioned
    something, or they saw something on Oprah, or Dr. Phil, or Oz...

    Does it really matter? If they're worried, they have reason to be
    worried. Yeah, it may be a nice gesture to take the inlaw to the doc's
    with you and have some reinsuring words said.... Will they believe it?
    I doubt it. Cancer is scary, and chemo/radiation is scarier.

    Babies are pretty tough, and can survive a lot of things, but there's
    a whole lot of concern lately of all the chemicals in life, and there
    ain't much more toxic than chemo.

    I hope you can try to understand and accept their fears; it's not
    easy for you, and I doubt it's easy for them....

    It was difficult for me to tell my mom that I didn't want her holding
    my son unless she washed her hands after changing the dog's diaper...

    We lost a lot of years because I said what was bothering me...

    Who was right; who was wrong?

    Sometimes we should take life as it is; it only goes by once.

    Stay well, ehh?

    John


    PS:
    We found out later, that we couldn't always hear water
    in the downstair's sink running, from upstairs......
  • chicoturner
    chicoturner Member Posts: 282
    #24
    Well someday when you are
    Well someday when you are strong and all finished with Chemo and that baby is grown-up you can hopefully laugh about this......I was thinking about the mosquitos that bite me and live.....you would think I would not be so tasty! Jean
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #25
    John23 said:

    Oh well...
    "The medications that you receive during your chemotherapy are
    very strong. We use them to kill the cancer cells in your body.
    Because they are so good at their job, they can also be toxic to
    others who come in direct contact with you. It is important that
    you know about the precautions you need to take during and after
    receiving chemotherapy. These precautions will help those around
    you avoid contact with toxic and dangerous chemicals. "
    From: http://my.clevelandclinic.org/

    Every chemotherapy chemical used today, is a well known
    carcinogenic. They administer it only after considering help vs risk.

    The chemicals are harsh to adults and toxic to a baby. I can't
    understand why anyone that might be carrying even the smallest
    dose of a toxic chemical, would want to take a chance of it
    making a baby sick.

    The "half life" of the chemical as it excretes from your body
    isn't an absolute, it is an assumption; everyone's different. There
    are very, very few studies that indicate what the chemicals can do
    to a baby that may come into contact with the excretion, and much
    less regarding pore excretion.

    "News readers will have encountered these ideas, including the
    risk of environmental contamination from very-polluting used drug
    patches. But the sweat angle: That’s new.

    Not to pharmacologists, of course. Some of them have been
    reporting for decades that health care workers can encounter
    substantial exposures to chemotherapy drugs and other
    pharmaceuticals while washing patients’ clothes and bedding. I’ve
    included a few cites to such papers accompanying this blog. But
    the concern in those papers has been potential risks to workers’
    health. As Ruhoy and Daughton point out in their new analysis,
    family members and friends remain a largely ignored ̶ and
    therefore uninformed ̶ population that may also be at risk of
    coming into dangerous contact with sweated-out pharmaceuticals or
    skin-applied drugs."

    Here: http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/57874/title/Skin_as_a_source_of_drug_pollution

    There are tons more easily found on the web.


    All new moms and dads are over-protective of their newborn,
    and my wife and I were no different. Our protectiveness may have
    insulted dear ol' ma..... but according to her mom, she was no
    different when she popped me out.

    I may sound rude here, but you really oughta' try to understand,
    rather than get insulted. You'll gain a whole lot more ground shedding
    the crapola.


    (Just my .02)


    (I love ya' anyway!)

    John

    John
    Boy, I'm glad you didn't work around AIDS patients like I did, You'd be down right scared by them.
    Have you had sex with your wife lately? Yes, even chemo patients have sex, although it's recommended because of BODILY fluids within 48 hours of chemo to wear a condom for protection, etc.. etc.., but after that? Yep, you don't have to worry about the chemo effects after that. Bodily fluids being swapped, is the concern for the first 48 hours. Not HOLDING each other, not hugging, nope, we can do all that right after chemo and not fear.
    Fear Mongers, honestly, we can do without.
  • beacon
    beacon Member Posts: 77
    #26
    i was thinking, would you
    i was thinking, would you see it as a compromise to allay her fears about skin contact and to also keep the peace , to suggest, (although you believe it to be no danger anyway), you could hold him in a blanket etc, so essentially you are not touching him anyway?
    that way you still get your cuddles , and her baby stays "safe"????
    she's a new mum and she might be over-reacting, but her baby is the most important thing to her atm....where she's right or not, and its also important that you get your cuddles in too...

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