Ed's memorial today

well William, I just read your very lost and somtimes funny, sometimes sad, posting to me.
We buried our Ed today, we had his memorial this morning, many many people were present, the one person who was not there was my Mom, who is in the hospital unable to attend. I thought I would have very mixed feelings the day I sat besides his coffin, but no, I did not have mixed feelings. I had feelings of total lost of my husband today, a man that I loved dearly for 27 years, I felt inner peace that I did everything I could to help him through this horrible course of his cancer in the past year. I felt that Diana and I did everything in our power to help this man and in the end, the cancer still won. I admired Ed for his committment to eight rounds of chemo, fifteen sessions of brain radiation. I think my husband had some sort of a breakdown the day he was told he had "terminal cancer", way back October 7, 2009. He never looked the same nor did he act the same as the man I knew before that day. I thought that when this day came, I would still be mad at him for treating me the way he did, but no, I didn't. I forgave Ed in the hospital when he went last Monday night for everything he said and didn't say. I told him Wednesday, right before he passed, that it was ok to leave us, that God was waiting for him and to go there and see him and he passed away 10 minutes later, he actually reached up with his eyes closed, and hugged me.
I knew right them that he loved me and we understood each other's thoughts. I have a new total insight to the people who have been given a diagnosis of cancer, I have a new outlook on life since Ed's cancer and I am sincerely grateful to all who have written to me and wished Diana and I well.

For you Mr. Marshall, like I said before, you are my "dad", I do not know what I would have done without you for the past year. You have made me laugh, cry and all the in betweens.
I have always looked forward to hearing from you. You are a man of great wisdom. I am honored that we have become friends and I will never forget you. Diana and I are now alone, it feels scarey and very different. The house is big and empty. We have to find a new life for ourselves, it will not be easy but we have each other. Life will never be the same without my friend. We were best friends for years, I will miss him dearly.

I will post again but need to sleep, very tired from the day.

Love

Linda