Another person lost to Colon Cancer Today

pluckey · September 2010

Laura did not come here on the boards. I knew her through my sister in law, who reached out to me to help Laura - information, chemo questions, resources for the kids, how to apply for disability, Hope, how to ask questions of doctors, urging second opinions.

Laura did none of it. Laura couldn't tell you the name of her chemo regime. She didn't want to do chemo, and did so reluctanly. She had stents in her, never got the primary tumor removed. Cancer was in Liver then recently to the lungs. Laura actually called me once a few months ago to ask me a question. She sounded stronger then when I first met her.

I told my sister in law that Laura had no dog in her fight. And she didn't. Even though she had 4 children - ages 22 to 6 years old, she just didn't have it in her to put up a fight or lift a finger to help herself/fher children.

I was mad at first, but I keep asking God to forgive me for being judgemental, for it's not my life nor my decision.

Laura passed away today, quickly, a week with no water or food. 9 months after diagnosis.

I hate cancer

Peggy

thready · September 2010

Sadness
Peggy,
One can feel your sadness in your words. How difficult it must be to have had to watch Laura and yet you know how hard but necessary it is to fight.

I can say I have read your post and watched (read) as you have gone through things like Fonging etc and am grateful you are here to encourage each of us. Thank you for that.
Jan

PhillieG · September 2010

Peggy
I'm sorry to hear this, especially for her children. My kids are probably the single most important thing that has gotten me through the really tough times. It really shows how different we all are. No one is right or wrong with the choices that they make though some may be perplexed by them. I can understand how you would feel mad. If someone close to me made a similar choice I would have a hard time accepting it too.
You can only control what you do.
Be well
-phil

Sonia32 · September 2010

Peggy
hugs lm sorry to read of her passing.her family are in my thoughts and prayers

HollyID · September 2010

Peggy...
Hugs to you. I can your pain in your words. That's got to be horrible to watch. It's especially sad because of her kids. God Bless them and you.

Love and Hugs

Holly

Luv2lunch · September 2010

Peggy,
I'm so sorry for your
Peggy,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish Laura could have had the will to fight the blasted cancer. I guess it is a very personal decision to choose the path one takes when something like this happens. Maybe it was just too much for her and she just didn't have the strength to fight. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the children.
Cancer stinks.
Linda

sheri22 · September 2010

SORRY ON YOUR FRIENDS PASSING
Peggy

I am sorry to here of your friends passing for you and her family, I cant imagine what you her her family are going thru but it sounds like you and your sisterin law are there for the kids take care God bless

Sheri22

John23 · September 2010

Peggy -

You did only what you could do: offered assistance in finding help,
and finding information to help make an educated decision.....

Sometimes all our efforts to help get refused or rejected, and
we are left helpless to just sit and watch another human die.

There's nothing to be mad about... you offered what you could,
but it may not have mattered anyway; People die of cancer,
sometimes regardless of what they do.

John

AnneCan · September 2010

Peggy
I am so sorry to hear of Laura's passing. Know that you did your best to help her. Sometimes it is really hard to understand the choices people make, or maybe Laura "knew" she couldn't beat it. My husband + my kids are my motivation to fight as hard as I can. When I was originally diagnosed I told my husband that no matter what happened I want my kids to be proud of me. When I am having a hard day, I use them as motivation as well as motivational words I have heard + read along the way (many here on this forum). One 15 + year colon cancer survivor told me that she has been "given" a short timeline + bad prognosis several times in her journey, yet here she is motivating others, volunteering etc. None of us knows for sure, so my goal is to keep fighting as long + hard as I can. Peggy, you have fought hard + are winning the battle; be proud + know you are an inspiration to me. I hate cancer too.

tootsie1 · September 2010

You did your best
Hey, Peggy.

You know, I think some people just hear the word cancer and think right away that they're going to die, and they just can't get to a place where they believe they can fight it. You were wonderful to do everything you could for Laura.

*hugs*
Gail

KathiM · September 2010

There are some people that believe...
that they should do nothing, that placing it all in God's hands is all that should be actively done...

Life is so precious to me. But everyone acts and reacts so differently when faced with a life-threatening crisis. You offered your warmth and your strength. Obviously, she wasn't in a place where she could accept it. It truly is tragic, especially for the lives she left behind...sigh....

There was an old story passed around (warning: a bit of God talk), but this situation calls for a repeat:

Two people were talking about a third, who had drown during a flood, perched on his roof.

One had stopped, when the flood started, in his tractor and offered a ride to high ground. The man's reply was 'No, thank you. I have my God, He will save me!'.

The waters rose until the man was on his second floor. Another person floated by in his boat. He offered the man a ride to safety. 'No, thank you. I have my God, He will save me!'

The waters rose higher still, and the man was force to his roof. A rescue worker hovered over him in a helicopter, offering safety. 'No, thank you. I have my God, He will save me!'

Well, the waters overtook him, and he lost his life. When he stood in front of the gates to heaven, he asked God "Why did you not come and save me, I believe in you above all else to help?"

God's reply: "Who do you think sent the tractor, the boat, and the helicopter?"

For me, I called out the National Guard, the Girl Scouts, even the ASPCA (worth a shot), and everyone else to help!

Hugs, Kathi

ktlcs · September 2010

KathiM said:
There are some people that believe...
that they should do nothing, that placing it all in God's hands is all that should be actively done...

Life is so precious to me. But everyone acts and reacts so differently when faced with a life-threatening crisis. You offered your warmth and your strength. Obviously, she wasn't in a place where she could accept it. It truly is tragic, especially for the lives she left behind...sigh....

There was an old story passed around (warning: a bit of God talk), but this situation calls for a repeat:

Two people were talking about a third, who had drown during a flood, perched on his roof.

One had stopped, when the flood started, in his tractor and offered a ride to high ground. The man's reply was 'No, thank you. I have my God, He will save me!'.

The waters rose until the man was on his second floor. Another person floated by in his boat. He offered the man a ride to safety. 'No, thank you. I have my God, He will save me!'

The waters rose higher still, and the man was force to his roof. A rescue worker hovered over him in a helicopter, offering safety. 'No, thank you. I have my God, He will save me!'

Well, the waters overtook him, and he lost his life. When he stood in front of the gates to heaven, he asked God "Why did you not come and save me, I believe in you above all else to help?"

God's reply: "Who do you think sent the tractor, the boat, and the helicopter?"

For me, I called out the National Guard, the Girl Scouts, even the ASPCA (worth a shot), and everyone else to help!

Hugs, Kathi

I am Sorry
for your loss and I too HATE cancer

We have to find a way....

Kathy

Another person lost to Colon Cancer Today

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