What Timing

luz del lago
luz del lago Member Posts: 449
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Well, friends, what timing it was for your words of wisdom the past few days! Because of you I took some time to have a "me" day and refresh my soul. Thank you all.
Today, we learned the results of my husband's bone scan. He has cancer in his bones. Dr. says it's too soon after his firstline chemo to start chemo again, but will be giving him Zomedia (?) once a month. She says it will strengthen his bones and may arrest the activity in them. She says that he could go for months doing well on it since he is asymptomatic and not in any pain or discomfort.
So you see, it was a good thing that I took that "me" day, as next Monday he begins PCI and tomorrow we find out his schedule for the Zomedia.
We found this out today as we were going in to our therapy appointments. Guess it couldn't have come at a better time. Yeah, like never! Sorry, sometimes the anger just has to be let out! Anyway, it wasn't the news we had hoped for, but we have faith that if anything can be done to help this new condition, it will be. Was prepared to discuss with therapist how I've been feeling, but then I thought, should I? I did. She told me to accept my husband's love as he gives it, love him as I do, and take care of myself. I will need strength to see him not making the most of his journey in this world, but if that is his choice, I will respect him. Aren't you all the smart ones! My therapist agreed!
Thank you for reading my words and sharing with me. I pray that if you ever need of me, I will be there for you all.
Lucy

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    Hi, Lucy
    I just wanted to say hi. The roller coaster ride continues. It is so hard. Just stay as positive as you can and deal with it one day or even one minute at a time. Take care of yourself, too. I know that is the hardest thing to do, but you still need to do it even if it is just a few minutes each day doing something just for you. Fay
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #3
    Prayers
    You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Lucy.

    Gentle hugs to you.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #4
    Noellesmom said:

    Prayers
    You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Lucy.

    Gentle hugs to you.

    Lucy
    Lucy,
    Sometimes it is so hard we have to step back and look at the whole picture, and sometimes when doing that we forget to look at our self. We are so wrapped up in trying to help save our husbands we get over bearing on them. I am so glad you took time foryourself. Just in reading your chats I can see a change in you a little sad but also a much happier person who is remembering there is two people that needs help and you are one of them. YOU GO GIRL!
    Jennie
  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #5
    zinniemay said:

    Lucy
    Lucy,
    Sometimes it is so hard we have to step back and look at the whole picture, and sometimes when doing that we forget to look at our self. We are so wrapped up in trying to help save our husbands we get over bearing on them. I am so glad you took time foryourself. Just in reading your chats I can see a change in you a little sad but also a much happier person who is remembering there is two people that needs help and you are one of them. YOU GO GIRL!
    Jennie

    Hanging in there!
    Some days I just see that famous poster from long ago, you know, the one of the little cat just barely hanging on to a branch, and laugh to myself! It had written,"Hang in there, baby".
    Having you all to share with makes it possible, thank you.
    Lucy
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #6
    luz del lago said:

    Hanging in there!
    Some days I just see that famous poster from long ago, you know, the one of the little cat just barely hanging on to a branch, and laugh to myself! It had written,"Hang in there, baby".
    Having you all to share with makes it possible, thank you.
    Lucy

    I love this Quote
    We shall pass this way on Earth but once, if there is any kindness we can show, or good act we can do, let us do it now, for we will never pass this way again."
    I love this quote. Stephen Grellet wrote is in the 1800's how prfound it is.
    We all may not cure cancer in our life time, but we can stop along the road and help pick another person up and if we can not lead we can follow.
    Lucy Everyday is a struggle, but if you look hard enough there is always something good about that day even if ever so small. I have always said you can meet 100 people in a day all kind and sweet and all the good things you would wish to see in people, but on that day you will meet one who is bad, that is the one who stays in our mind, the 99 others fade away. So I try no matter how bad my day is to smile and do right by others not that I always do but I try.
    May you find many good things in each day
    Jennie
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #7
    luz del lago said:

    Hanging in there!
    Some days I just see that famous poster from long ago, you know, the one of the little cat just barely hanging on to a branch, and laugh to myself! It had written,"Hang in there, baby".
    Having you all to share with makes it possible, thank you.
    Lucy

    Wish the news was better
    Lucy,
    Sorry the news wasn't what you wanted. All you can do now is be there for your husband. Just keep telling him how much he means to you and will love him no matter what. Just take a day at a time. Keep talking to your therapist and of course all of us on this site!!
    "Carole"
  • lovingwifedeb
    lovingwifedeb Member Posts: 183
    #8
    So Sorry Lucy
    And most sorry for your husband...

    We as caregivers take everything into our very being, don't we? Blow after blow? Hurt after hurt? One doctor appointment after another, test after test, the waiting... then the news... some of us get lucky... some of us don't. The "caregivers" tend to pickup the pieces after we get home, then when we are alone, the gut wrenching crying. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be the one to receive the news from the doctor, "sorry you have cancer", then... "sorry, it's moved into your bones or into your lungs or into your brain? For just one minute I try to be the one in my husband's shoes... I try to feel what he must feel, to really connect with him.

    I saw it in my husband's eyes, the fear, the denial. I knew this could go either way the day he found out. I could make or break the rest of my marriage if I couldn't face this with him. We are in this boat with both feet, he and I are learning about this disease together. Fearful we both are, there will be no backing out now, only going forward. No matter how we both wish this wasn't true we can't waste another moment, we've got to fight this together in what ever way we have decided.

    One day at a time Lucy...

    Take care of each other,

    Deb
    lovingwife of Bob, stage 3c

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