People are so clueless....

onlyhuman said:

cluelessness that has left me stunned
I try not to judge people for their cluelessness but here are a few of the things said to me that have left me wondering...:

1. You have the girls. At least you won't be lonely.
2. You dont look as if its been 9 months. You look like its been a few years since he passed. (Anyone want to explain how I should look?).
3. (From my mum) You two fought all the time so you probably won't miss him for long.
4. You need to get over him (as if we got divorced...halo...he died).
5. (as I approach the one year mark)...you know you should expect the pain to get worse before it gets better.

The "you are so strong" comment also wears very thin. All through his illness and since then its been a recurring one amongst my friends. Inside I am shouting "DO I HAVE A CHOICE??"

(Deep breath) ok rant over.

Sangeeta

I can relate!
Here are some others

I am getting insurance bills rejected for the reason "individual was no longer covered on that date" No he died that day

That's a beautiful new car, bought yourself a present huh? (our prev car was a wheelchair accessible van) a present? You must be kidding me.

It must be so much easier for you know. Yes I find it quite easy to lie on the couch all day in tears, to look at the empty side of the bed, to pick up the phone to call him and then remember he's not there. And cleaning out his stuff gave me lots more closet and drawer space!

Please send us a copy of the death certificate and a utility bill in your name as proof that we should change the name on the account (this FROM the utility co!)

And the ever inspiriational "You'll get through it" Gee ya think, really, is there another altrnative I am unaware of?

Sorry I too seem to be venting'

Kathy

ktlcs said:

I can relate!
Here are some others

I am getting insurance bills rejected for the reason "individual was no longer covered on that date" No he died that day

That's a beautiful new car, bought yourself a present huh? (our prev car was a wheelchair accessible van) a present? You must be kidding me.

It must be so much easier for you know. Yes I find it quite easy to lie on the couch all day in tears, to look at the empty side of the bed, to pick up the phone to call him and then remember he's not there. And cleaning out his stuff gave me lots more closet and drawer space!

Please send us a copy of the death certificate and a utility bill in your name as proof that we should change the name on the account (this FROM the utility co!)

And the ever inspiriational "You'll get through it" Gee ya think, really, is there another altrnative I am unaware of?

Sorry I too seem to be venting'

Kathy

Okay, you can smile.
After my dad died, we didn't change the listing from his name because my brother's name was the same and he was in real estate. We figured that people would need to see that instead of initials in order to contact him.

A year later my brother died suddenly and when I got my feet back on the ground, I decided not to change the listing. To me, initials indicated the possibility of a woman living alone and my 80+ year-old mom was there by herself all day. I paid the bill by check for the next six years until she died.

When I moved, I called the phone company and asked to transfer the number to the new house three miles away. Couldn't be done, they said. The account would have to be closed and I'd get a new number. I said, fine; do that. They said they needed to speak to John D. Smith and get his authorization. I explained that they were both dead and the circumstances. They still had to speak to him or have a death certificate. I said that they were fortunate because I knew where that was, but if I hadn't had a death certificate, I would have told them to keep billing and to let me know where the payment was coming from if they got one.

It makes me smile a little now, but it was just plain stupid then.