Hmmmm

Winter Marie
I am sorry you have had this setback. There are other places who may consider surgery for you and if not you are responding well to treatment + that is a good thing whether surgery follows or not. We all will die, whether we are stage1 or stage4 or if we don't have cancer at all. Phil has a saying, something like birth has a prognosis of death (Phil can you please put in the right wording?). You still have hope; just because one place won't operate at this time doesn't mean it will never happen. There are people on this forum who were told they were inoperable + have been operated on at a later date.

Winter Marie -

WOW.

On the up-side, you're really cute when you're pissed!

(there's somethin' really hot about a broad with one foot in the grave!!)




(loveya', babe!)

John

HD:
Not sure how to respond, yep all of us will die someday, that is a fact, and we all hope for a peaceful, pain free death or death like my mom experienced, hit the floor was gone within 5 seconds, no pain, no scream, just gone.

George is a Stage IV, and, as it stands will never have any type of surgery. Do I still have hope, you bet I do. He was diagnosed 18 months ago and we just came back from a 5 day trip to Vegas on Thursday evening and Friday morning left for a 3 day weekend in mid-Michigan. Will the other shoe drop for him, most likely, but we are not sitting and waiting for that to happen and neither should you.

If you are unhappy with Stanford is there a chance you can travel to another center and see what they see?

Lots of people have surgery and then they go downhill, just never recover well, and their cancer goes crazy. Some have surgery and do fantastic. You can have an excellent quality of life without surgery, lots of people on the board do.

Just giving up, well in my and George's vocabulary that is not gonna happen, at least not yet.


Take care - Tina

Fine.......then lets just all give up...
Sure, never mind the ones that aren't as upbeat and want to end their life because they can't hang in there or don't think they have a snowballs chance in hell of surviving. Well young lady, we all have a great chance of surviving, you know why ? because, we will not give up. The "poor" woman you speak of relies on hope , be it true or false, its still hope, and her want for her husband is just as large a want as yours is to be really really frustrated with everyone, especially Stanford, but that woman comes in here for hope and shes getting it, or at least some solace as to how to cope with the prospect of having to deal with end of life issues. Hell no, I know Im not gonna hear good news when I go to surgery, I can almost betcha that I will jump to stage 4 after being NED for 2 years and now a tumor in my lungs, and 4 kids ages 5,8,16 and 25 and a wife that just turned 37 and will be responsible for all of their future. You know who I blame it on, nothing, or nobody, its simply life at its finest, and we either deal with it or we don't. I am here to give advice as to make the journey for anyone with this disease or a caregiver dealing with the disease as painless and worry free as possible. We never tell them they will live or die, only one knows that, buts thats another story again, we only offer up hope and humor and laughter and the ability for someone to vent because we do know why they vent in here. It is because we don't simply blow it off as well hell, life sucks, cause it don't. I got to spend 5 years with my daughter and 8 years with my son and 16 years with my other son and 25 years with my other daughter and 14 years with my wife, and I will be damned if I will go peacefully, my 25 year old daughter called me a "Tough Old Basterd"...To me thats a compliment, because it tells me that I mean something to my kids, shows and teaches them not to give up ever, and hopefully they will be ok in life, and venting is fine, vent all you want, but have mercy on ones you do not know, to tell them there is no hope, look how you felt when Stanford said that to you. I love everyone on here including you Marie and sometimes it is a lot easier to say Im sorry I know how you feel, but I tell it like it is, good or bad. If you tire of the upbeat crap we feed each other in here then simply lurk, or don't post. We certainly want you in here, or I will speak only for myself, I want you here, because I love anyone that loves life, and will try and protect all from hurt and try and at least give them some hope even if for another day. But, if you give up on yourself, then I will still love you always, but there are others in here that do take solace in here when its given, and if you don't want that then simply tell me and it will stop from me.
Marie, This is a post to you to let you know that if I didn't care I wouldn't even bother, but I know that you care about living as I do. We can't do it negatively. I will not go down without a fight, I don't give a damn what it is. I don't suspect you will either. So gripe, ****, scream, yell, cuss, whatever it is that gets you through, but get through it and move ahead, show Stanford that there are more options out there than just them, or simply sit on the beach and beach......
Love to you , Clift

madiarsg said:

It's hard
It's hard, once you have your hopes tied to something, to have that tie cut. Yes, we know the reality is that many cancers and stages can be death sentences. We all know that, and yet we look for the miracle stories of someone beating the odds. I do it myself regularly, especially as of late. You will find the strength to go back on the hunt for a surgeon to do this primary surgery, but until then don't force yourself to do so. Take the time, recover from this hurt, and gather your energy. We know the truth, but sometimes, we want to hear a little white lie to make it through the day.

Keep fighting, and please don't blow up someone's else's bubble!
Marie, you don't have to give up on life until you have to.....I am also Stage !V, and the chemo shrunk my tumor so small that the liver surgeon said, "I will NOT do surgery on what I can't see, if the chemo has shrunk the tumor then there is no reason to go in." I am a surgeon and I go after what I can see. My heart just sank, so I called my ONC, right then and there. He talked to my surgeon and told him, "you know where the tumors were, go with that and do the surgery. We will not take no for an answer." I was so scared that the surgeon was giving up. The surgeon sent me over for some ultrasounds, and they were closing up, but the tech decided to stay open for me. ....Luckily, the ultrasound picked up an area where he could still see one of the tumors and he found another that my scan did not pick up, so I was scheduled for the surgery. He could not see one of the first two tumors, so he cut where he thought it was... 50% of my liver was gone, and he did not see anything, so he went in for 10% more. He cut that section up and there it was, he could only hope for a clean margin. Here I am a year later and in remission. KEEP fighting Marie. Thought I would share this poem.

This poem is not for a cancer patient but the meaning it powerful........Don't quit!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
Whe he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Lovekitties said:

Confused
Was the fact that Stanford would not take Stage IV patients a secret? Or did your doc just not do his homework? Or was there another reason that Stanford would not take you?

Here you are with tumors too small to be seen on a scan and a CEA in single digits instead of thousands and you feel cheated? Sounds to me you are mad at the wrong folks here. Get mad about your docs and find someone who whats to help you continue to fight.

The truth is yes we will all die and some will die from cancer, and some will die in spite of all their treatment efforts. BUT, most folks here plan on LIVING until that day comes. So what if the number of days left is not the kazillion we all figured we were owed. Having and giving HOPE that there is always one more day for each of us and that perhaps that cure will be there on that day is OK for me.

I pay my doctor to give me the cold hard truth about this disease. I come here to be with friends who are in this fight with me, who will lift me up when it seems I can't go another day, who will share everything and anything with me about who things work.

As for the lady whose husband has pancreatic mets, it is not for you to say that he will be dying any time soon. Patrick Swayze lived with full blown pancreatic cancer for 21 months after diagnosis and I mean he LIVED. It is not up to any of us to 'take away' the possibility of lots of good days from anyone.

We each have to choose how we live the rest of our days. We who have had a cancer diagnosis have just had a reminder that no one lives forever.

The TRUTH is that I want the upbeat energy which come from most members of this board. There are too many other places where the other truths are given to me.

I hope that you find that you can again hope, because live isn't much in any catagory without it.

May you find a new doc or at least peace of heart and mind.

Marie who loves kitties

Vent
It seems to me like you just need to vent a little and I don't blame you. You are angry and you have a right to be, with one hand they gave you hope, and with the other, took it away. I too am angry, angry at the cancer that took my husband, angry at the Drs that couldn't help him, angry that I am here alone, reminded every day of what I lost. Despite the anger, I don't want to take away hope from anyone else. Sometimes I read a post and my first reaction is to think that the person is fooling themself, and then I realize who am I to say? Miracles happen every day, Dr's are wrong all the time, and even if someone is fooling themself so what, we do whatever it takes to get ourselves through the day.

From reading your story these past several months it seems that you have done better than anyone expected. So why think that will not continue? For now, vent if you need to, scream, cry, curse, whatever helps, but please don't take your frustrations our on those fighting the same battle as you. Concentrate those energies into your recovery!

Kathy