Will I still be here?

I think you will be there
You have to. They need you. I agree with Steve - you've got a lot going for you in this fight. It's only natural to wonder about your ability to be here a year from now - from time to time, that fear that whispers in your ear is loud enough so that you can't ignore it. I hear it sometimes, too. I think it's good idea for us to have milestones to look forward to - my son will graduate in a year or year and a half - after that, I'll need another goal. Are your kids planning on kids? Next milestones, maybe?

herdizziness said:

Ahhh Hun
You will be there, stage IV, inoperable, good with chemo. Heck that's me.
Sure you and I have our moments, we won't be here, we'll miss out on life's highlights. And guess what, those moments pass.
You will remain strong, and you will be there. The chemo will keep you going, heck my onc, said even if I don't get surgery, he sees me living many years on low maintenance chemo, so at the worst, a few years, which puts you way past next year, my dear.
Our wills are a wonderful thing, they let us endure chemo, so we can be there for our loved ones.
If you only have faith in one person that you will be there, then that is good enough, you only need to have faith in yourself, I personally have faith in you. And I'm pretty sure many others do as well.
Weep not for what has not been foretold, dream about what is at this moment and what will be.

Me too
I too am stage IV, inoperable, good with chemo. Like you, both of my grown up children are setting off on their lives with their partners. My son & his girlfriend are trying for a baby and in my desperate times I think "I really hope I will be around to meet my first grand child" Someone said something to me the other day which really helped me. "If you always think the worse will happen, then it will because you will be waiting for it. But if you think that there will be positives you will look for them and they will happen" I know everyone talks about being positive but I really think it works.

May us all stay around to see our children grow up and even our grandchildren.

Tina xxx

You Will Be There!
Hey Damama Deb!
That is wonderful news! Are you kidding? You are going to be so busy putting together two weddings, you will not have any time to sit and think and wonder about your colon cancer! You are doing well with the chemo, leave it at that. Celebrate that fact! Live for each day. Live for your children. Be positive and tell this cancer you do not have time for its crap! Now get your mind busy on planning those weddings girlfriend! Keep in touch and I hope to see you on chat!
Tina (also)

Enjoy Today
I am not a cancer survivor but a surviving caregiver. I lost my husband to colon cancer after a six year battle. That was so much longer than we expected. We were really blessed with those years. One thing he did was set little goals for himself. He wanted to see our sons promoted in their jobs. He wanted to see the fourth grandchild born, etc. Those two things happened, by the way. One thing he didn't do is worry about making those goals. He set them, then lived his life as if he might not be here tomorrow. We tried to make each day special. We went on several trips, ate out a lot, and spent a lot of time with family and friends. There were a couple of bucket list things he didn't get to finish, family things where he was remembered and missed, a few things I was able to complete for him. I hesitated posting this because I can only hope I understand a little what you are feeling. I haven't walked in your shoes. I have only walked beside him. I can tell you that even though my husband is gone, he is still with us in many ways. He is still very much a part of our family. He is never forgotten. We all talk about him, remember him and love him. His goal when he received his stage 4 dx was to buy as much time as possible and make memories with his friends and family. His matra was PPMM ( power of prayer and modern medicine). He lived longer than we expected, but less than we would have liked. It is never long enough. I won't give you false hope that you will be there physically for your children's weddings because I don't know. We just continued to make plans as if my husband would be there, and as I said he is still very much there in our hearts and minds. In the meantime, don't waste time worrying about things you sadly have no control over. Take time now to enjoy the company of your family. They will always remember that. Reach out to you future in-laws. Share family stories now. Hug those you love and tell them so often. Live today and let tomorrow take care of itself. I know all of this is hard. My husband and I often cried together, but we laughed,a lot too. It is the laughing I remember most. Take care of yourself. Also remember that miracles happen every day. My husband wore a bracelet that said hope until the day he died. He never lost hope and neither should you. Fay