Advice...please

carkris said:

you remain hopeful because
you remain hopeful because what is the alternative? it will be tincture of time that gets you through. This is my second primary. After my first primary I was so paranoid, then as the years went by I didnt think every ache and pain was cancer. Now with the second one, perhaps I should but I still dont. Give it the two week rule, thats what I tell myself, if it still bothers me in two weeks, I will start to consider it seriously. (pain) usually it can be related to some activity I've done. I have had to have a couple of bone scans in the process but thankfully they were negative. Sometimes I get really anxious and try to distract, getting busy and focused on something else helps. Like any grief, this all takes time. There is no magic bullet, one day at a time. hugs hugs hugs. and remember you have LESS cancer now then you did at the time of your diagnosis. We will never let the beast win!!!!!

Your diagnosis was not very
Your diagnosis was not very long ago. Most of us have had the same doubts and feelings. I found that time helps to listen the fears but I am not sure that they ever totally go away. And it probably good that they don't. It does keep us vigilant and aware of our bodies and any changes. I like carkris' two week rule. And for me, I have just decided that I am not going to let worrying about tomorrow rob me of today. Don't borrow trouble. Easy no, but with time it works. We are always here to listen, advise, laugh, cry or whatever you might need.
Stef

smalldoggroomer said:

Welcome to the forum.
So glad you are here it is a great place to be under the circumstances. We all have our fears especially in the beginning. Thinking every pain is cancer yet again. But as you have all the test you will find out that this is not the case. We are all here for you all the way you journey. There are wonderful ladies on here and we are all always willing to help. Try and keep positive thoughts. Breath deep, Relax, Your not alone. Take care Kay

A year has passed for me and I still worry...
about every ache and pain. Now I have a numbness issue that won 't go away and I'm wondering if it's some kind of neurological cancer. SHEESH it never ends. We're all
in the same disgusting boar and trying very hard to make the beast of it. The positivity obn here helps my attitude sooooo much! THANK YOU EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU BLESSED WOMEN!!!

You're new
You're new here and welcome. Your diagnosis is new and totally scary. Your fears are new, but with time, you'll find that you're better able to control them. You've probably been through the worst, getting the diagnosis. What comes after is the fight to win and hard as it gets it's really really worth it. You didn't mention your treatment. Our prayers and thoughts and whatever wisdom we may be able to share are with you. Please come, vent, ask, share, whatever, whenever you want.
Best of luck and it will get better.

marge

TIME.........
Time is what helps, at least for me......I am 10 months out of all treatment. We each have to find out own way back from this trip we didn't want to take in the first place....I would offer this, we CAN'T control our destiny. If that were so, we wouldn't have had bc in the first place! I made a conscious decision to stop worrying about things I can't control......and having a reccurence is one of them....couldn't control it in the first place and I can't control what will happen down the road. Don't get me wrong, I still think about the "what if's" but I refuse to let it control my life. I have several, more than I wish, friends who have cancer and had cancer....one had adrenal cancer 5 years ago, she CANNOT let go of the fact that it may return....EVEN THOUGH all of her doctors have reassured her she is cancer free and more than likely will remain so....she lives in misery most of the time, worrying daily about "what if"......To me, that's not living....We all have to make our own way.....It's not easy finding our way back, it takes time. Each and everyone of us have to make our own decisions on how we let this beast affect the rest of our lives. For me, again it's been time.....and I tell myself each morning, "SEIZE THE DAY!"

Peace be with you
Nancy

positive attitude
According to many of the most recent studies, a positive attitude does NOT improve outcomes: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cancer/HO00033

Also see: www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/EmotionalSideEffects/attitudes-and-cancer

I was always uncomfortable with saying that a positive attitude could help you beat cancer as does that mean that, if it comes back, you have a cruddy attitude? To me, it kind of reeks of a blame the patient philosophy.

Howver, I do think that a positive attitude helps improve our quality of life. I have to stay positive--I am miserable if I'm not. I stay that way by being as active as I can: gardening, going for a brief walk and admiring the skies, hitting the gym, working, being involved so I can get my mind off of this crud. A little lexapro helps too ;-)

So do not feel guilty or obscess when you feel lousy, but do get help if you need it for YOU!

new2me said:

What works For me ~~~~
Alot of people have praised me for my positive attitude and say that will get me through. well, I do beleive that attitude does help. For me, I don't want to sit at home all day and cry over something I have no control over. That doesn't mean I haven't cried - of course I have. That doesn't mean negative thought don't pop in my head - of course they do. I still have fear that I may evidentually die of cancer. But what helps me is Jesus Christ. All I can do is put my trust in Him. I am a woman of Faith and that is what gets me through. I try not to borrow worry from tomorrow - but I am human like everyone else and when negative fears come into my mind - I try to focus on the positive and not dwell on it. Satan wants us to be miserable and unhappy and I just simply won't give him that. I serve a higher power and He is in control of my life. I figure I may have fears all my life about this or that being cancerous - how I will use this to my benefit is that I will make sure to not put off any appt. nor will I chalk any symthoms up to just "No big deal"
I am so sorry that all of us have to go through any of this but I will not let it control my living. I have cancer - it doesn't have me. (I heard this from a Kaiser commercial and I love it)

Everyone is individuals, and we all go through our trials very differently. What works for one may not work for another. I hope what I've shared will help someone.

I love you all

Kelly

It's been over a year for me
It's been over a year for me now and I still with any pain thats new wonder if the c word is back. I still think of myself as being positive. Just have to wonder sometimes.

Do your best...
I hear your frustration. I was were you are at one time. I have about a year on you, though (diagnosed May 20, 2009), and can tell you that it will change!
None of us know if we will live a 'long' life (geesh, I almost got creamed by a car walking the other day!), nor do we know if it will be 'healthy' ( I thought I WAS healthy, than, wham....breast cancer!). What I do know is that the old saying 'time heals all wounds' is incredibly true and there is life after cancer. It will be the life you choose to create. Around here, we do not spoil TODAY with tomorrow's worrys.
I am fortunate to have a team of Dr's that will prove to me I am OK and put my mind at rest for the littlest ache. If it is bothering me long enough, I will check it out. But I think it is important to keep in mind that we will have all kinds of inflictions that will hit us with the aging process alone. We just happen to be more in tune with our bodies now and notice every little thing! Eventually, we start to let a few things here & a few things there go and we find ourselves not as concerned and petrified as we were in the beginning.
Don't be so hard on yourself and just keep telling yourself 'Cancer sucks, but I will get through it'. I'll stop by and check in every now & again and it saddens me to read the post that remind me of my first postings. Everyone has to go through it...what other choice do we have? But here, we go through it with company....
I wish you all the best....hugs & hope, ♥Pammy