only 3 more rad txments left. yesssssss

sissy310 said:

Hi Judy, I cannot wait until
Hi Judy, I cannot wait until the pain, itching and tiredness goes away. I keep trying to do something each day but each day it is the same so far. I just need to be more patient, which is something I do not have for myself. I keep thinking "I'm done. Okay. That should now mean I have the strength to do this this and this. Nope. One load of laundry and I'm pooped. One shower with hair washing and I'm pooped. And not just pooped, I have to lay down and rest for a few minutes before I can get up again. Is this normal? Grant it I'm only out of treatment a week and a half but dang...I kind of expected more than this. I guess my naivete shows through over and over. My husband said to me today...think you might want to go to the state fair next weekend? Let's see, walking 8-10 miles around the fair, bathrooms are always packed, great food but do not know yet what I can eat that won't kill my digestion that day or how many times I will have to go potty...hmmmm, I don't think so! He almost seemed disappointed. Like I'm done now, so let's get back to regular life. And perhaps that feeds on my naive need to bounce right back too and I'm not. Ah well, keep reminding me to be patient and give myself time. Maybe I will write this on my recovery board to as a reminder to be kinder to myself. Hope all is well with you. Be well, Marilyne

Tired of being tired, huh?
I understand completely. I was the same way. I was so tired all the time that I was tired of being tired! I live on the 3rd floor and I had to face those flights of stairs every day when I came home from treatment. My husband would always go in front of me so I could put my hands on his shoulders and he guided me up the stairs. For the longest time, I was scared to go too far from home just because I was always afraid that I would need to have a BM and at that time, my BMs were pretty rough and I really wanted to be home in my own bathroom! At least, if I had a painful BM, I could grab my sitz bath and get soothing relief, but if you're out at the store or at the fair, for example, we don't have that luxury.

I wish we could get back to our regular life, but I guess our regular life will never be the same. Don't get my wrong, I'm not saying that we cannot live a normal life, but we are very special people. We may have to deal with different changes our bodies have gone through and learn how to accept ourselves as we are.

I'm seeing a specialist tomorrow because I have a completely fused vagina due to the radiation. This may very well affect me and my husband for the rest of our lives. I may never be the same again when it comes to sex. Thank God I have such a loving, patient, and caring husband who says that we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. All he is concerned about is my health and well-being. I may have to have surgery to correct the problem and then I'll see what happens from there.

But, I'm glad I'm alive and that's good enough for me!

Take care and talk to you soon!

duckyann said:

Extremely normal to be
Extremely normal to be weepy....You have been through a lot and I think it finally all starts to set in when treatments end. You are too busy running for treatments and concentrating on getting rid of this BEAST to really have it all soak in. Hang in there it will get better.

Nancy

I agree!
Once treatment ends, we are left in a bit of limbo. Treatment keeps us busy and our minds occupied. Afterwards, we can feel abandoned. What you are feeling is normal.