Update on....... Everything!!

idlehunters said:

Cheryl...
And all this time I thought you were a PERFORMER.... yes..SUPERSTAR!! LOL.... I bet you are laughing your butt off girl! However, I am even more impressed to find out you take care of all that behind the scenes stuff. Thats big...shoot... oh..just give me your autograph anyway!!! LOL. I am for real going to take you up on your offer to see some theatre.. count on it..me and my wig.... later girlfriend!!

LOL!
Oh Jennie.... it really hasn't been all that long (ok, maybe I did miss out on what... close to a year around here?) but the change in you from when I first met you here on the boards to now is like night and day!! OMG!! You are one changed woman and such a heck of a great one at that.... wig and all .

Ok, you know people are going to call me real, real weird, but hey... I've been called worse When I first knew I was going to have to do the chemo and radiation thing, after I got used to the shock and fear of it all... I got to thinking (and I have to admit, it had to be the theatrical drama queen in me)... well, losing my hair won't be that bad... after all, it will grow back in... and just think of all those different wigs I can try? Long hair, short bobs, pixie cuts... I can be a walking hair model!! And then, with the chemo and radiation, I'm BOUND to lose my appetite and in the process lose poundage... so I can be a normal size, flaunting my many different hair styles. This could be a really good thing!!

Well, I had talked myself into how good this was all going to be... you can imagine my disappointment to find out that I DIDN'T lose my hair. Oh sure, it thinned out a lot, but not to the point where I had to cut it short or shave it off and start my new career as a wig model. And about that poundage?? Naaaa... it was here to stay and wasn't going anywhere. I didn't get sick-sick... and when I did feel the nausea coming on, well, I had my ways of quickly getting rid of that... so I didn't even have time to lose my appetite.

All I managed to get out of the chemo/radiation treatments was nerve damage in my legs/feet and it really aggravated the arthritis I didn't know I had!! Grrrr!

Now, here I am, back on chemo again... started up at the beginning of July. Well, I was sooooo busy, we were just opening two big musicals (Singin' In The Rain and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat) that would play in rep with each other (Monday would be Singin', Tuesday Joseph, Wed Singin', Thur Joseph, etc) for 7 weeks, 7 days/week. So the cast/crew would have every second day off since it was two different casts, 2 different crews... but us Administrators didn't get any days off until we were ready to drop, then we'd sneak one and have someone cover for us. Hehe... so you can imagine with a crazy schedule like that, I didn't have a lot of time to have a pity party for myself, or fantasize about my career as a wig model, or slim, trim early retiree

Well, here I am now, almost finished the 4th cycle of Xeloda (Cycle = Mon- Fri on chemo, weekend break, Mon-Fri on chemo, 9 day break) and I just realized that not only have I not lost any weight (even with that wacky schedule), I haven't even had any hair loss, I haven't even had it thinning at all. I had a HECK of a time in the first two cycles with SEVERE INTENSE pain in both feet.... equivalent to someone taking a razor blade and slicing the bottom layers of my feet off and then having to walk on them. Of course, it was nothing like that ... if you looked at the bottom of my feet, there was nothing to see... they looked perfectly fine. But it was the chemo attaching the already damaged nerve endings in my feet. I knew I couldn't go on with that kind of pain... and yet, I really didn't want to go back on the intravenous 4FU. But that's when I got the brainstorm... what would happen if we increased my Lyrica, the blocker med that tells the brain to ignore the messages of pain? Sure enough... we did that and this past 2 cycles I have had no problem with pain in the feet from the chemo... go figure??

Sooooo.. why am I babbling on about this to you and anyone who hasn't gotten bored and already left this post?? To say that back when I first met you online and tried to take you under my wing (you kept escaping!!!)... there is no way I would have been able to tell you this story. You were in such a state of fear and panic, you would have totally missed the humour and would have picked out key words (wigs??? loss of hair??? nausea??? pain??? nerve damage???) and totally freaked over them. So then I would have to grab you, stuff you back under one of my wings, thump you on the head a couple of times and think I had you calmed down and you'd go running out from under my wing crying, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" I would have to go chasing after you (which is no easy task when one isn't losing weight) and drag you kicking and screaming and shove you back under my wing

Now look at you!!! You have done such an about face AND you are here for others who are going through the fear and panic and they are looking up to you and asking, "How do you do it??" But you ARE doing it... and doing such a wonderful job of it. I am soooo happy to see you doing so well! And you are so much fun to boot!!!

Hugggggggs!

Cheryl