Son acts like He hates me
Comments
-
I'm sorry that on top of
I'm sorry that on top of everything you're going through with cancer now you're dealing with a strained relationship with your son. The only thing I can think of is like you said, he is scared. You said you call to see how he & his family are doing, I'm assuming he's married/in a relationship? Are you close with his wife? Maybe you could have a private chat with her to shed some light on things? My mother in law has been such a rock through this, it's really brought us closer -but Tim and I have been together since we were teenagers, so she's literally watched me grow up right along with her son.
I'm thinking about taking my daughter to counseling. There's a huge age gap here lol - she's 9. She's such a strong little lady & handling everything well, but she did get so upset yesterday hearing about her grandma being diagnosed with breast cancer as well..she's been asking about if she & her baby sister will also get breast cancer..not many behavioral problems with her - she gets frustrated with her extra responsibilities sometimes, and is a bit quicker to smart off than usual, but a local cancer center here offers free family counseling and i'd rather take care of any potential issues with her before they get to bothering her.
I am very glad that you have your daughter through what you're going through. It's so important to have that 1 person who is your rock, and I'm glad you have her
*hugs*
Heather0 -
Nat, if I can say what's on
Nat, if I can say what's on my mind...here goes. From what I'm been understanding from you, you consider yourself as going through torture, while you're waiting to die. Now, if I was hanging around you and heard all that all the time, I would probably try to avoid you also.
I don't want to minimize your problems, but just read here on this board. There's a ton of ladies who have it much worse than me and yes, probably you. They are not tortured nor are they gonna die anytime soon. And they're happy to be alive and kicking.
As for you wanting to see your grandkids, I'm not sure if that's a great idea. If you as such a Debbie Downer with your own "kids" what psychological damage could you do to the grandkids.
Yep, I've had bone pain, mouth sores, pukes, fatigue, infection, bleary eyes, head sores, etc etc. And when someone asks how I feel, I usually will tell them that I feel great (even if I have to roll my eyes). But people still tell me I look great, and that's because all this sh*t is temporary and I feel great.
Frankly, for those little things, like the burnt tongue and slight nausea, I never bother to mention to anyone. If I always told my family everytime I felt crappy, I'm sure they wouldn't take it seriously after a while. But, when I do say that something is feeling bad, they know it must be for me to mention it.
It's a great day when your feet hit the ground first when you get out of bed.
Sorry for being so blunt, but that's just how I feel.
Cindy0 -
I have the same problem, mySnowkitty said:Nat, if I can say what's on
Nat, if I can say what's on my mind...here goes. From what I'm been understanding from you, you consider yourself as going through torture, while you're waiting to die. Now, if I was hanging around you and heard all that all the time, I would probably try to avoid you also.
I don't want to minimize your problems, but just read here on this board. There's a ton of ladies who have it much worse than me and yes, probably you. They are not tortured nor are they gonna die anytime soon. And they're happy to be alive and kicking.
As for you wanting to see your grandkids, I'm not sure if that's a great idea. If you as such a Debbie Downer with your own "kids" what psychological damage could you do to the grandkids.
Yep, I've had bone pain, mouth sores, pukes, fatigue, infection, bleary eyes, head sores, etc etc. And when someone asks how I feel, I usually will tell them that I feel great (even if I have to roll my eyes). But people still tell me I look great, and that's because all this sh*t is temporary and I feel great.
Frankly, for those little things, like the burnt tongue and slight nausea, I never bother to mention to anyone. If I always told my family everytime I felt crappy, I'm sure they wouldn't take it seriously after a while. But, when I do say that something is feeling bad, they know it must be for me to mention it.
It's a great day when your feet hit the ground first when you get out of bed.
Sorry for being so blunt, but that's just how I feel.
Cindy
I have the same problem, my son has only been over twice since my reoccurance, which was 3 months ago. And one of the times was for this birthday, so we took him to dinner and i gave him his gifts and have not seen him since. I do not understand and it hurts me so much! I feel that he must have a lot of hate in him for me...sigh. I pretty much had to tell him over the phone about my reoccurance, and treatment. So, you are not alone with this problem. I have no idea what to do about this, i cannot make him come to see me. Take care0 -
Sons are different
I have one each,son and daughter, with famiies of their own. The saying.....A son's a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter, her entire life".......
I'm not aware of your dx or prognosis, haven't followed your "story" but for what it's worth, here goes....
Men want to "FIX THINGS'...They're problem solvers, not that women aren't, before I get nailed for saying that...but it's the way men are wired...and cancer is something they can't fix! I experienced this with my own husband when I was dx last year.He took it really hard...he couldn't fix my problem. I actually think it was harder on him than me, he was my rock. My son is also 40 and a psychologist....he took it very hard but was his reaction was different, he was extremely consoling and helpful....my daughter is 37, she went to pieces at first, she and I are very close.
I would bet that your son is very scared as you said, to learn his mother has cancer...that's a very NORMAL reaction.......it's going to take time for it to sink in....right now he's scared of losing you, again normal even for a 40 year old man! I, personally,think he needs time. I would continue calling and "checking" in, send your grand kids some cute little notes telling them "grandma" is thinking of them and that you love them....my grands, the two older girls, were terrified but my actions around them calmed their fears....when I lost my hair, I made sure we explained it to all 4 that it was the medicine that caused the hair loss and not the disease..
You can't control other people's reactions, only your actions and how you respond to them. Right now, you have to think of yourself and focus on getting well, once again. And for what it's worth, I disagree with what some others have said.....YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SCARED....You have a right to YOUR feelings.....this isn't a cake walk! It gets old, speaking from personal experience, to have to put on the "happy face" for those around you, family and friends included. I did my best to reassure my kids and husband that I would fight this and come out the other side......and I did! But at the same time it doesn't diminish your feelings.....It's impossible NOT to be scared. And for being around yourgrand kids, just be yourself.....the "grandma" they knew before this beast entered your life..A breast cancer diagnosis IS TORTURE! But I am here to tell you, there is sunshine following this storm we call breast cancer......I am 10 months out of all treatment.....life is good again....IT's a long journey, full of surgeries, chemo, radiation and FEAR! IT takes strength to get through it, but I have faith you can do it! Perhaps showing your determintation to do anything and everything within your power to beat this, will rub off on your son.....I am thrilled that your daughter is by yourside....give your son time for this to sink in.....He loves his "Mommy" and is scared....Don't know if any of this has helped, I hope so.....please keep me updated......I care and perhaps that will give you some small comfort........We've all walked in your shoes, each of us as individuals, and each has a different story to tell in how we coped with this.....DON"T let ANYONE tell you how you should feel........this is your life and your battle!
I wish you peace
Nancy0 -
Sons
Nat,
I'm so sorry your son is acting like that but sons don't like to think about losing their mom. We've always been the strong one who takes care of them. I'm also dealing with an angry son but he is only 17. He got extremely mad when he broke a tooth this week and can't see the dentist til Mon. The dentist is out of town what was I supposed to do, fix it myself.
He says he is still mad at me and I've accepted that and going on. It is like a friend said "He'll need me!" My husband and son are both having a hard time with this but have been wonderful throught it all. I've finished chemo and things are slowly returning to a new normal and none of us know quite how to deal with this. We've been is fight mode so long that they are having trouble physically and mentally now that things are returning to normal. Husband is seeing therapist and taking depression meds. I feel guily and that it is my fault. I hope my ramblings help.
Janie0 -
CindySnowkitty said:Nat, if I can say what's on
Nat, if I can say what's on my mind...here goes. From what I'm been understanding from you, you consider yourself as going through torture, while you're waiting to die. Now, if I was hanging around you and heard all that all the time, I would probably try to avoid you also.
I don't want to minimize your problems, but just read here on this board. There's a ton of ladies who have it much worse than me and yes, probably you. They are not tortured nor are they gonna die anytime soon. And they're happy to be alive and kicking.
As for you wanting to see your grandkids, I'm not sure if that's a great idea. If you as such a Debbie Downer with your own "kids" what psychological damage could you do to the grandkids.
Yep, I've had bone pain, mouth sores, pukes, fatigue, infection, bleary eyes, head sores, etc etc. And when someone asks how I feel, I usually will tell them that I feel great (even if I have to roll my eyes). But people still tell me I look great, and that's because all this sh*t is temporary and I feel great.
Frankly, for those little things, like the burnt tongue and slight nausea, I never bother to mention to anyone. If I always told my family everytime I felt crappy, I'm sure they wouldn't take it seriously after a while. But, when I do say that something is feeling bad, they know it must be for me to mention it.
It's a great day when your feet hit the ground first when you get out of bed.
Sorry for being so blunt, but that's just how I feel.
Cindy
As far as my family goes, from my siblings, to my children, they all think everything is peachy! Do you think I would tell them anything except,"I have breast cancer, & every thing's fine". They thing that I'm so well that they all call everyday, & tell me there problems. Which I'm happy to help, because it takes my mind off my pain. I only told this board what I couldn't tell anybody else, I was venting.
And I met a little 29yr. old girl with a 2 yr. old baby who had cancer so big in her breast, that she has a concave on her chest from her double mastectomy. It was one yr ago,& they said she was cured, I met her back at chemo where she is starting the whole mess over again. Because now it's spread to her lungs. I offered God, begged him in fact to change places with her, & to give me her pain. So she can feel better, & be around for her baby. So yes, I know that plenty of people have it worse. This was just the only place I could tell the truth about me. I certainly didn't mean to offend you. You misunderstood everything I wrote, & I'm sorry for that.0 -
meenameena1 said:I have the same problem, my
I have the same problem, my son has only been over twice since my reoccurance, which was 3 months ago. And one of the times was for this birthday, so we took him to dinner and i gave him his gifts and have not seen him since. I do not understand and it hurts me so much! I feel that he must have a lot of hate in him for me...sigh. I pretty much had to tell him over the phone about my reoccurance, and treatment. So, you are not alone with this problem. I have no idea what to do about this, i cannot make him come to see me. Take care
I had to tell my son over the phone also, & he shocked me by becoming furious at me. I had to hang up on him, because I felt just like you, so hurt & wondering why he hated me all the sudden. Thanks.0 -
NancyMAJW said:Sons are different
I have one each,son and daughter, with famiies of their own. The saying.....A son's a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter, her entire life".......
I'm not aware of your dx or prognosis, haven't followed your "story" but for what it's worth, here goes....
Men want to "FIX THINGS'...They're problem solvers, not that women aren't, before I get nailed for saying that...but it's the way men are wired...and cancer is something they can't fix! I experienced this with my own husband when I was dx last year.He took it really hard...he couldn't fix my problem. I actually think it was harder on him than me, he was my rock. My son is also 40 and a psychologist....he took it very hard but was his reaction was different, he was extremely consoling and helpful....my daughter is 37, she went to pieces at first, she and I are very close.
I would bet that your son is very scared as you said, to learn his mother has cancer...that's a very NORMAL reaction.......it's going to take time for it to sink in....right now he's scared of losing you, again normal even for a 40 year old man! I, personally,think he needs time. I would continue calling and "checking" in, send your grand kids some cute little notes telling them "grandma" is thinking of them and that you love them....my grands, the two older girls, were terrified but my actions around them calmed their fears....when I lost my hair, I made sure we explained it to all 4 that it was the medicine that caused the hair loss and not the disease..
You can't control other people's reactions, only your actions and how you respond to them. Right now, you have to think of yourself and focus on getting well, once again. And for what it's worth, I disagree with what some others have said.....YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SCARED....You have a right to YOUR feelings.....this isn't a cake walk! It gets old, speaking from personal experience, to have to put on the "happy face" for those around you, family and friends included. I did my best to reassure my kids and husband that I would fight this and come out the other side......and I did! But at the same time it doesn't diminish your feelings.....It's impossible NOT to be scared. And for being around yourgrand kids, just be yourself.....the "grandma" they knew before this beast entered your life..A breast cancer diagnosis IS TORTURE! But I am here to tell you, there is sunshine following this storm we call breast cancer......I am 10 months out of all treatment.....life is good again....IT's a long journey, full of surgeries, chemo, radiation and FEAR! IT takes strength to get through it, but I have faith you can do it! Perhaps showing your determintation to do anything and everything within your power to beat this, will rub off on your son.....I am thrilled that your daughter is by yourside....give your son time for this to sink in.....He loves his "Mommy" and is scared....Don't know if any of this has helped, I hope so.....please keep me updated......I care and perhaps that will give you some small comfort........We've all walked in your shoes, each of us as individuals, and each has a different story to tell in how we coped with this.....DON"T let ANYONE tell you how you should feel........this is your life and your battle!
I wish you peace
Nancy
Thank you for all the kind words. I said them to myself, but you forget & need to be reminded. So thank you! My daughter fell to pieces for a week, then she got her faith, and hope back. She brought my 3yr old grandson over after she cut my hair(before it was shaved), and I ran out to meet him saying, "look, granny got her hair cut just like yours,now we can be twins." He laughed, & laughed at that, he thought it was so special that I cut my hair like his. Now I have a beautiful wig that looks kind of like his mother's hair. He like that better on me. Kids are so funny, they make the world go round, & nothing is better then being a mother! Thanks0 -
JanieAMomNETN said:Sons
Nat,
I'm so sorry your son is acting like that but sons don't like to think about losing their mom. We've always been the strong one who takes care of them. I'm also dealing with an angry son but he is only 17. He got extremely mad when he broke a tooth this week and can't see the dentist til Mon. The dentist is out of town what was I supposed to do, fix it myself.
He says he is still mad at me and I've accepted that and going on. It is like a friend said "He'll need me!" My husband and son are both having a hard time with this but have been wonderful throught it all. I've finished chemo and things are slowly returning to a new normal and none of us know quite how to deal with this. We've been is fight mode so long that they are having trouble physically and mentally now that things are returning to normal. Husband is seeing therapist and taking depression meds. I feel guily and that it is my fault. I hope my ramblings help.
Janie
It's like Nancy, Or Meena said. Men expect, & think they can fix everything(even though we really are the one who does it)My husband felt like yours, so I started letting him do every little thing that he wanted. Like laundry, cooking, cleaning (though I was really able myself) And that's how he got his control back, & he started acting like he was saving my life. It is so sweet, he even tells me that he doesn't see my cue ball head. Now that's sweet, but I'm not sure it's true.
I think that you & your family are doing everything right, now. With the therapy, & anti's. They're probably doing what I do during a crises, I'm always the strong one until it's all over. Then I fall to pieces! I pray for you all, and know it's going to be fine. After all, the worst is over! Thank you0 -
NatNat1000 said:Janie
It's like Nancy, Or Meena said. Men expect, & think they can fix everything(even though we really are the one who does it)My husband felt like yours, so I started letting him do every little thing that he wanted. Like laundry, cooking, cleaning (though I was really able myself) And that's how he got his control back, & he started acting like he was saving my life. It is so sweet, he even tells me that he doesn't see my cue ball head. Now that's sweet, but I'm not sure it's true.
I think that you & your family are doing everything right, now. With the therapy, & anti's. They're probably doing what I do during a crises, I'm always the strong one until it's all over. Then I fall to pieces! I pray for you all, and know it's going to be fine. After all, the worst is over! Thank you
I have one each also. My daughter went with me to meet my surgeon to go over my breast MRI and biopsy report. She was and continues to be very concerned and supportive. My son is a quiet person by nature and is married to a lovely girl. He just turned 32 and to my surprise he was waiting to see me after my bilateral mastectomy. He doesn't say much but I know he cares. I'm sure your son is scared. Stay strong and eventually he will come around. I agree with an earlier post that you need to stay positive and don't think of dying so much. It can be very draining on all involved.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
HANG IN THERE !cahjah75 said:Nat
I have one each also. My daughter went with me to meet my surgeon to go over my breast MRI and biopsy report. She was and continues to be very concerned and supportive. My son is a quiet person by nature and is married to a lovely girl. He just turned 32 and to my surprise he was waiting to see me after my bilateral mastectomy. He doesn't say much but I know he cares. I'm sure your son is scared. Stay strong and eventually he will come around. I agree with an earlier post that you need to stay positive and don't think of dying so much. It can be very draining on all involved.
{{hugs}} Char
Good to hear from you,again....You sound like you're feeling better. I'm so glad! As I said before, it's hard enough when we go through this without having to take EVERYONE else into consideration, too......But we do it, because by nature, we are stronger than we ever knew..My 7 year old grandson thought my shaved head was "SO COOL!".....Our spouses, kids and grand kids are what makes us fight even harder. Glad you're feeling better and stay as positive as possible under the circumstances! Keep us posted
Peace be with you,
Nancy0 -
similarly
Unfortunately, since I told my son about my diagnosis and subsequently spoke with my son in the Spring, after successful completion of rads, he has called me once and refuses to answer my calls or respond to my messages. He is in the Navy,34 yrs old and unmarried. He appeared angry in that last conversation. He expressed fears that "it might be genetic" since my mother also was treated for breast cancer ( She died 32 years after her CA treatment of nonrelated causes.) He said "oh, great, now I'm going to die of cancer". In spite of my explanation, suggesting he speak with his doctor and directing him to appropriate medical/mental health resources, he remains distant and I believe very anxious. I have decided to give him some time and space. I call and write, leaving "positive" and caring messages but I have accepted that right now, he is dealing with his own feelings. I don't and will not complain to him, he does not do well in emotional situations. I don't have grandchildren so that is not an issue for me. He is in a new relationship but I have not met or had contact with his new girlfriend. I miss him but accept where he is and what he may need while dealing with his own fears.I have a daughter, two years his senior. She is very supportive and was there at my side with my husband when I woke from surgery. She has been there to support me as needed through my journey.
Wishing you a happier and more rapid resolution to this sad situation. Keep me posted.
Hugs, K0 -
It is interesting how peopleKayNYC said:similarly
Unfortunately, since I told my son about my diagnosis and subsequently spoke with my son in the Spring, after successful completion of rads, he has called me once and refuses to answer my calls or respond to my messages. He is in the Navy,34 yrs old and unmarried. He appeared angry in that last conversation. He expressed fears that "it might be genetic" since my mother also was treated for breast cancer ( She died 32 years after her CA treatment of nonrelated causes.) He said "oh, great, now I'm going to die of cancer". In spite of my explanation, suggesting he speak with his doctor and directing him to appropriate medical/mental health resources, he remains distant and I believe very anxious. I have decided to give him some time and space. I call and write, leaving "positive" and caring messages but I have accepted that right now, he is dealing with his own feelings. I don't and will not complain to him, he does not do well in emotional situations. I don't have grandchildren so that is not an issue for me. He is in a new relationship but I have not met or had contact with his new girlfriend. I miss him but accept where he is and what he may need while dealing with his own fears.I have a daughter, two years his senior. She is very supportive and was there at my side with my husband when I woke from surgery. She has been there to support me as needed through my journey.
Wishing you a happier and more rapid resolution to this sad situation. Keep me posted.
Hugs, K
It is interesting how people act some for the better some for the worse. I too express how I am feeling on this board more than in "real life" it would be too hard on others and some people dont get it. I feel bad for what I have put my family through, I tell my husband "you sure got a bargain" but then think if the shoe was on the other foot, I would do what he has done for me and would not regret marrying him.
My daughter's have been good, but they are college and HS age, they go into their narcissistic shell. This summer my oldest didnt really help and acted like nothing happened. I think its what she needed to do, to protect herself. People try to get back to normal to reasure themselves. I am sure that your sons are frightened and worried but express it in their own way. sometimes ways we do not understand. I am sorry for this, sometimes people do dissapoint us, hopefully in time they come around. My best friend from childhood, never called or sent a card, although hurt, I decided to forget about it. She said she didnt want to depress me with her problems, but I think it was too much for her.
I am also thinking, being an ICU nurse, I always think in terms of worse case scenarios, so perhaps your son is dealing with this, as all he sees are the worst things.
Nothing is ever black and white, and people are impossibly human, keep the door open, but dont dwell on it either, the level of his anger equals his love for you, hopefully he will gain new insight and come around.0 -
It has already been
It has already been commented on, but I too want to reiterate that generally speaking, Women Nurture and Men Fix. As women, we most often know what to do~ depending on what is needed in any given circumstance, we are the ones organizing the carpools, making and delivering casseroles, offering to babysit, writing and sending out holiday and thank you cards. We can comfort our g/f's by having spa days, shopping sprees or by grabbing a box of Kleenex and blubbering over a chick flick festival. You get the picture, and I am sure I am telling you nothing you don't already know. Think about when someone has a baby~ generally, if that news is given to us by a man, be it a husband or a son, that's all they know! We women know the length of labor, weight of the newborn, not to mention the sex and if the baby had hair or not!
Your son, no matter how many burning buldings he has run into cannot fix your cancer. He doesn't hate YOU, he hates being helpless and is most assuredly angry about the cancer. I have a sneaking suspicion that if he was able to resuce you from a house fire, or get you out of a trapped car and administer life-saving medical aid to you, he would!!!! But the fear, the changes in you think about it...you are his MOM! And when men can't fix, it is typical for them to get angry, or to abdicate, or both.
If you text message, or email, perhaps for the time being, that would be a less emotional way for you two to communicate. Just the every other day "Hi! Love You! " may be a good thing~ lets him know you are still here hopefully alleviates his fears to some small degree. Does he have a wife who will get together with you and the grandkids? And NOT have your son be the topic of conversation? Just gramma/grandbabies time?
You said he has reverted to being a 10 year old. Well, now as then, he is your 10 year old.
I guess for now you will have to remember how you treated him then when he needed comforting, and do it again! Of course that does NOT mean letting the care of you take a 2nd seat~ fight!fight! fight! and know that we are in your corner, with open hearts and listening ears.
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Just let me addchenheart said:It has already been
It has already been commented on, but I too want to reiterate that generally speaking, Women Nurture and Men Fix. As women, we most often know what to do~ depending on what is needed in any given circumstance, we are the ones organizing the carpools, making and delivering casseroles, offering to babysit, writing and sending out holiday and thank you cards. We can comfort our g/f's by having spa days, shopping sprees or by grabbing a box of Kleenex and blubbering over a chick flick festival. You get the picture, and I am sure I am telling you nothing you don't already know. Think about when someone has a baby~ generally, if that news is given to us by a man, be it a husband or a son, that's all they know! We women know the length of labor, weight of the newborn, not to mention the sex and if the baby had hair or not!
Your son, no matter how many burning buldings he has run into cannot fix your cancer. He doesn't hate YOU, he hates being helpless and is most assuredly angry about the cancer. I have a sneaking suspicion that if he was able to resuce you from a house fire, or get you out of a trapped car and administer life-saving medical aid to you, he would!!!! But the fear, the changes in you think about it...you are his MOM! And when men can't fix, it is typical for them to get angry, or to abdicate, or both.
If you text message, or email, perhaps for the time being, that would be a less emotional way for you two to communicate. Just the every other day "Hi! Love You! " may be a good thing~ lets him know you are still here hopefully alleviates his fears to some small degree. Does he have a wife who will get together with you and the grandkids? And NOT have your son be the topic of conversation? Just gramma/grandbabies time?
You said he has reverted to being a 10 year old. Well, now as then, he is your 10 year old.
I guess for now you will have to remember how you treated him then when he needed comforting, and do it again! Of course that does NOT mean letting the care of you take a 2nd seat~ fight!fight! fight! and know that we are in your corner, with open hearts and listening ears.
Hugs,
Chen♥
You are his MOM, and, to our kids, their Mom's are never suppose to hurt, feel pain or ever be sick. It can turn a grown up adult man into a child again, that sees his Mom sick and vulnerable and that hurts him.
He is not avoiding you to just not be around you, but, he is avoiding you because it just hurts him too much to know that you have bc and that scares him.
He is scared to death to see what you are going through and just to hear that word cancer makes so many think of death. But, it is not a death sentence, not at all, but, many don't realize that.
There are so many brilliant doctors out there and so many new treatments that there is always hope for everyone! Breast cancer can be fought and the battle can be won, even with mets or a recurrence. There are many women on this board to prove that! Some of the sisters on here have had cancer 2, 3 and even 4 times, so, it is a winnable war!
Perhaps you should write him a letter explaining how much you want to see him and explaining to him how you are fighting the beast and that you are determined to win!
I bet he just needs some reassurance from you as to what is going on with your treatment and how you are feeling. Just like a young child, they need to know that you will be around for a long time, cancer or not.
I pray that you and your son will come back together. Don't let cancer steal that relationship!
Hugs and prayers,
Lex♥0 -
So many have already said soAlexis F said:Just let me add
You are his MOM, and, to our kids, their Mom's are never suppose to hurt, feel pain or ever be sick. It can turn a grown up adult man into a child again, that sees his Mom sick and vulnerable and that hurts him.
He is not avoiding you to just not be around you, but, he is avoiding you because it just hurts him too much to know that you have bc and that scares him.
He is scared to death to see what you are going through and just to hear that word cancer makes so many think of death. But, it is not a death sentence, not at all, but, many don't realize that.
There are so many brilliant doctors out there and so many new treatments that there is always hope for everyone! Breast cancer can be fought and the battle can be won, even with mets or a recurrence. There are many women on this board to prove that! Some of the sisters on here have had cancer 2, 3 and even 4 times, so, it is a winnable war!
Perhaps you should write him a letter explaining how much you want to see him and explaining to him how you are fighting the beast and that you are determined to win!
I bet he just needs some reassurance from you as to what is going on with your treatment and how you are feeling. Just like a young child, they need to know that you will be around for a long time, cancer or not.
I pray that you and your son will come back together. Don't let cancer steal that relationship!
Hugs and prayers,
Lex♥
So many have already said so many true assumptions and I agree with them. This is hard on him too and he doesn't know how to act.
I hope you two can find a way to become close again, like you were.
Hugs, Debby0 -
DON'T BELIEVE YOUR SON HATES YOU
Sounds like you me be different with him too. My son is 34 and lives 8hrs away. He's not mean or distant but sometimes I feel like I'm looking for something from him and even I don't know what it is. I do the same thing with my husband. Cancer has changed all of is so we have to be careful.It's their fight too and they are well aware they could lose. Please don't tell kim your daughter is a rock.She's putting up a different and maybe better fight.But he doesn't need to hear it. Every day I hope to remember in my words and actions that they are victims too. Some days I fail Good luck to you and yours.0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.7K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 308 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 395 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 670 Leukemia
- 792 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 236 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 58 Pancreatic Cancer
- 486 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.4K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 537 Sarcoma
- 726 Skin Cancer
- 650 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards