Afraid for my Mom---she is in ICU and everyday is more bad news

My Mom was dx with Ovarian cancer in June. On July 31, she had her hysterectomy and debulking. She had convinced herself that it would just be the ovary and that would be that---bring on the chemo. It was anything BUT that. They found extensive cancer in her abdominal area. Her spleen was removed, cancer was "caked" on the omentum, and her colon had to be resectioned. Cancer cells on her appendix and transverse and decending colons. Went directly into ICU for pain managment and some breathing difficluties/heart failure. They used a rebreather mask for awhile. After 7 days, she went to regular room and made progress in walking, moving, etc...Doing so well that rehab not necessary. I drive up from NC to help her at home for a week. ON the way up I get a phone call telling me that she is now leaking stool from her vagina! I nearly swerved off the road at the shock. I pushed forward and knew that she would need me now. She was so scared---unlike I have ever seen my mom. Eventually boiled down to a fistula that would not be repaired and a colostomy bag would be set in motion surgically. We both cried about this but saw no other good option. Mom even more worried thinking about another surgery. On the day of surgery she says she cant lie flat for she cannot breathe. Surgery gets cancelled and it turns out that she had a liter and a half of fluid in her pleural space. Boy did she ever hate that tapping procedure. So---they say Friday is the day. An hour before surgery she spikes a fever to 101.5. I figure they will cancel---Nope---MD wants her down there. I start getting this feeling that this is a bad idea-esp since she is so weak that she can only get to the bedside commode. They do it and surgery itself goes well, but my mom is not well. She is back in ICU on a ventilator after a failed bipap. She has an NG tube in which she hates---can't imagine her thoughts on the vent. BP dangerously low, fever up to 102.7. Now nurse is saying sepsis. Called in infectious Disease MD who is going to watch and see. Apparently she tested postive for fungus in the sputum. New bag hanging for that. She is out of it since she was trying to grab things earlier. They found a whole lot more fluid in the pleural space again and revealed that the prior test had shown CA cells in the fluid. Immediately pushing the dx from stage 3c to 4.

i m feeling overwhelmed. I requested the palliative care team to come and meet with our family and extend some support. Since my arrival my Mom has medically gotten much worse. I'm scared and losing hope. She thought she was going home after a week at the hospital max. Her home looks all ready for her to pop back in and continue her life. I think many things are changed forever. I can just feel it.

Would love support from others who have been in these shoes. My mother is 60 and I am 40 with two children ages 7 and 8.