Weirdly Depressing Week on This Board

How normal can it be.... ? Hahaha
Bob,

I have to agree with you those were some rocky times.

Up until I found this board I never believed in chat rooms and never wrote
on any boards. But I am so glad I found this. The caring and the solidarity
on this board are so genuine. I really feel accepted here and understood.

Anyways, just to say LOVE YA GUYS!!! You have been what got me through this.

Ayse

Bob, I've only
been on this board since June after I had my bilateral mastectomy. Yes, there have been a couple of disturbing posts, most especially Laura's. I sincerely hope she sought help. The only other chat room I've ever been on is Weight Watchers. I chose to be part of an age group where all the women and some men had the same goals and difficulties reaching those goals weight wise. Here I have found so much inspiration and encouragement from those who have walked before me. It is the relationship we all have because of breast cancer that makes it special. Some people don't want to know anything about treatments, etc. I'm not one of them. I want to know all there is to know and what if anything I can do about it. Even though we are all separated by geography we are bound together because of breast cancer. As far as I'm concerned the information I've gotten here is invaluable! I'm sure there are lurkers who don't post but probably get some insight into what to expect from surgery and treatment. That's ok as some don't want to share their experience.

I hope Donna is doing well. {{hugs}}
Char

Marcia527 said:

All of us together makes
All of us together makes this board what it is. We all contribute. We have good days and we have bad days. Some days we give support and some days we take it. I guess that's life.

New here also
I'm new here also, but have been on another board that more or less cycles that way this one does. I guess it's what Marcia says, we have up days, then there are those dreadful down days. Put it all together, and this board just echos what life is all about.

Hope your wife is doing better, Bob, and you both are getting a handle on things.

survives

ms.sunshine said:

The good, the bad, and the ugly
That sums up what we experience in this cancer journey.
We didn't choose the journey, but we now have to walk thru it. Rollercoaster of emotions. Anyone cancer related or not needs to get help when dealing with depression.

Just want to add I have not suffered with depression before. My dr. put me on medication (don't remember what it was) I experienced depression. I had odd thoughts. I knew something was wrong because this thinking wasn't me. I quickly stopped the meds, and I was alright. The wrong meds or combination of meds can cause depression. Quickly seek help if one is experiencing any behavior or thoughts that just isn't "you"

Take care, stay strong
Jennifer

Jennifer, I love The good,
Jennifer, I love The good, the bad and the ugly reference. Hubby, there seems to have been a lot of sad things here lately, but we need to deal with all of emotions on our journey. Sometimes when all is soooo happy, it doesn't feel real.
I hope your wife is okay and I for one, love reading your posts.
Keep up the good work.
Wanda

Kat11 said:

Hubby
Glad to hear that Donna is doing ok. The AC treatments for me were ruffer than Taxol. Not to say it's all easy from here on out, but Taxol was easier for me. This past week was not one of the better weeks on the board. It was very depressing to read what we all read from Laura. Hopefully she got some help. Hang in there, your doing great.

I just am so worried about
I just am so worried about Laura. I hope and pray she knows that we all are here to support her.

CypressCynthia said:

You are not coming off as
You are not coming off as whiny or depressed at all. I just worry about the guys in our lives that are dealing with this. Cancer is truly a family disease in that it impacts each member. I know guys hate to see doctors, but it may be a great thing for both you and your wife to have that lifeline.

I just know that it makes me feel better that my husband has the support as I feel guilty enough about making him deal with this. He has never complained to me and has been incredibly supportive, but I know he is human.

Also, know that guys often use denial as a coping mechanism. My psychiatrist sister says that this is a "primitive coping mechanism" (whatever that means ;-)and that when it is not working, the individual who has relied on denial can have a really tough time.

Just think about it. You will know when you are ready. It is great that you are here and venting; a very healthy thing I think.

My husband is also extremely
My husband is also extremely supportive. He and I have both found this super strentgh we were both hiding inside of us that neither knew we were capable of. I truly believe my cancer diagnosis has been harder on him than on me. I look at it this way - I've been ok through all of this, but if it was Tim who had cancer and was going through surgeries, chemo, etc, I would be a basketcase.
I love the open-ness, and the "realness' of these boards. Yes, we congratulate and cheer and "hug" when everyone shares their good news, we support and encourage. But we also all know the realness of "bad" news or the not so great downs that go along with breast cancer, the fears too. This is a great place where we can share those fears, sometimes getting that reassurance that it will be ok, or just that we are not alone.
I know for me personally it has been one hell of a last 7 days...chemo friday & shaved the noggin last night. Like I remind myself, I'm still here. My head is stubbly & sore & itchy, but I'm still alive. When I feel like I'm getting whiny or feeling sorry for myself I remind myself to take a look at the big picture. A lifetime of baldness would be worth it for me, if it meant I'd get to watch my girls grow up and raise families of their own, and grow old with my husband.
*hugs & here's to a better week to be had by us all*
Heather

jnl said:

Maybe you should look into
Maybe you should look into some counseling or some antidepressants? I know men don't like to even talk about those two subjects, but, it might help you. Good luck!


Leeza

Bob, your post really hits
Bob, your post really hits the nail on the head when you state that "things" that are posted on this Board really can put us into a depression. It is awful that any of us have to go through this disease, but we girls often forget that the significant other is just as affected by our illness as we are. My husband has virtually been there for everything I have been through (missing only one rad treatment, and he still kicks himself for doing that). Our partners are definitely our strength, but on the other hand, I think they are also affected in other ways other than the physical. It is hard to watch someone we love being poked on, operated on, filled with poison, put through physical theraphy, stuffed with pills that make them feel totally unlike themselves, etc. Our treatment involves all who are around us, especially our partner in life. your statement that there were three things that affected you these past few weeks - the "kids" who are joining the group, and the "Laura" thing being two of them. Some of us on this Board remember about a year ago when we had a poster who literally took us all down a lane regarding her being a college student, no family to lean on, only friends in school to support her, and the eventual outcome resulted in her "death".....posted by one of her "friends" the next day. Turns out it was a hoax. This was such a horrible experience for a lot of us, some reacted much worse than most when we found out the whole thing was made up. I do hope Laura is okay, and I do hope that she is truly being honest with us, and has found help. Another one of those "false reportings" would be devastating. I pray for Laura, and for all of us who are battling the beast, both the affected and the caregivers. Hugs Judy

creampuff91344 said:

Bob, your post really hits
Bob, your post really hits the nail on the head when you state that "things" that are posted on this Board really can put us into a depression. It is awful that any of us have to go through this disease, but we girls often forget that the significant other is just as affected by our illness as we are. My husband has virtually been there for everything I have been through (missing only one rad treatment, and he still kicks himself for doing that). Our partners are definitely our strength, but on the other hand, I think they are also affected in other ways other than the physical. It is hard to watch someone we love being poked on, operated on, filled with poison, put through physical theraphy, stuffed with pills that make them feel totally unlike themselves, etc. Our treatment involves all who are around us, especially our partner in life. your statement that there were three things that affected you these past few weeks - the "kids" who are joining the group, and the "Laura" thing being two of them. Some of us on this Board remember about a year ago when we had a poster who literally took us all down a lane regarding her being a college student, no family to lean on, only friends in school to support her, and the eventual outcome resulted in her "death".....posted by one of her "friends" the next day. Turns out it was a hoax. This was such a horrible experience for a lot of us, some reacted much worse than most when we found out the whole thing was made up. I do hope Laura is okay, and I do hope that she is truly being honest with us, and has found help. Another one of those "false reportings" would be devastating. I pray for Laura, and for all of us who are battling the beast, both the affected and the caregivers. Hugs Judy

Judy that is awful news
to think that someone could be so untruthful to post something false. How cruel! I certainly hope that is not the case with Laura and that she sought the help she needed.

Bob, my husband is a man of few words. We have lost his brother (throat & mouth cancer) and his sister (lung, brain cancer). Now he is dealing with my breast cancer in his own quiet way. Eight years ago he had a malignant Thymus gland removed. He had 6 weeks of rads at the time. All has been ok since and he saw his surgeon yesterday to get another good bill of health. However, the surgeon still wants to see him again next year.....

So we support each other whether it's good news or bad. I don't think you came across like a whiner. I think you were simply disturbed by some of the posts. You've been great support to Donna and I'm glad to hear she's coping with the Taxol. {{hugs}}
Char

Alexis F said:

Unfortunately, having breast
Unfortunately, having breast cancer and dealing with all that we do can cause depression, some a lot worse than others. Some can get past it and others need a lot of help.

I wish this board could be only filled with good news and congratulations, but, that isn't all that this board is about. To me, it is more for information, help, and emotional support to get through the fight for our lives. And, if we get some good news, then, we all join in the celebration and are so happy to read about it and share in it.

I am deeply worried about Laura and I pray that she did get help and that she is alright. I think her post has troubled me the most ever on here.

I pray for everyone on here and pray that a cure will be found!

I hope that your day gets better for you. I just feel so lucky to be alive that I don't allow myself to ever be down very long. After all, it does no good.

Lex♥

Hoping that you and your
Hoping that you and your wife can find some happiness. Do you have children? Just look at their faces and realize how blessed you are to have them and for you and your wife to have each other. Try looking sometimes at the little things, it does help.


Diane