vicki sam and Fiona

lolad
lolad Member Posts: 670
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Just a few minutes ago i posted a post. Vicki read it. Its called second chance to say goodbye. I wanted to read through a couple more posts and came to Fionas. She is so right on how she feels. How dare you bash her and tell her to just pick up and move on and what pretend there is no sadness and lonliness and just damn tiredness!!! Vicki, i have know you through here for a while now. I have never been more pissed than now. See, not everyone has anyone. Not everyone has a wonderful family and husband and support. Not everyone can stay possitive when they are always alone. Im there too. Many are. Dont bash us because we are unable to constantly move through our lives being fake and pretending. Think about the worlds and lives of others, before you tell them oh, just quit the pity. Be thankful. For what. Fighting to live and hurting through surgeries just to be back to nobody or anything. I am ending this now. You owe an appology to Fiona. I am ashamed. And another thing. Hateful. I have never been hateful till i fought to be alone again.
laura

Comments

  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #2
    A thought
    Just a thought here, it's very very hard to convey compassion, humor, empathy, any big feelings, really, in the written word. I don't think anyone here logs on to harm anyone or use this board as a vehicle for personal agendas. On the contrary, I think we're all just doing the best we can with what we've got that day and some days, just speaking for myself, I feel like an empty pocket. Other days I've got energy and try to pass it on.

    I'm just saying sometimes smiles or tears don't show up in posts because we're limited to words.

    Peace to all,
    Victoria
  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    #3
    aisling8 said:

    A thought
    Just a thought here, it's very very hard to convey compassion, humor, empathy, any big feelings, really, in the written word. I don't think anyone here logs on to harm anyone or use this board as a vehicle for personal agendas. On the contrary, I think we're all just doing the best we can with what we've got that day and some days, just speaking for myself, I feel like an empty pocket. Other days I've got energy and try to pass it on.

    I'm just saying sometimes smiles or tears don't show up in posts because we're limited to words.

    Peace to all,
    Victoria

    You are right Victoria. I
    You are right Victoria. I agree with you.

    Donna
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #4
    BlownAway60 said:

    You are right Victoria. I
    You are right Victoria. I agree with you.

    Donna

    I agree with victoria also.
    I agree with victoria also. I think posting means alot of caring actually, because it is an effort. You are entitled to your feelings, we all feel empty, sad and alone. sometimes I dont want to talk to anyone, I just want to be alone in my hole. Sometimes everything everyone does irritates the snot out of me. That is when I know to go do something physical like a walk. This week I was sick from the zometa a nd did nt feel like walking from the dizziness, then I felt more cranky.
    Sometimes we get so into our "hole" that we dont see the ones who love us and care for us. No life isnt perfect, people arent perfect, we arent perfect. I have people in my life but never realized how important I was to them, until my therapist pointed out the significance I had to them and why they behaved the way they did. It made me understand that I am valuable, and my life has significance. You are irreplaceable, you are important. I dont think your sister or granny wants this for you . please seek help, it makes a difference. The sisters and brothers here care, we know you are in pain and we want to help.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #5
    ??????????????????
    I have yet to read anything where Vicki Sam is bashing Fiona.......
  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    #6
    BlownAway60 said:

    You are right Victoria. I
    You are right Victoria. I agree with you.

    Donna

    The post was in "I envy you
    The post was in "I envy you all" and if Laura would have read further she would have seen where VikiSam went back in and was checking on Fiona to see if she was having a better day. We all try to encourage each other in our own way. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

    Hugs

    Donna
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #7
    BlownAway60 said:

    The post was in "I envy you
    The post was in "I envy you all" and if Laura would have read further she would have seen where VikiSam went back in and was checking on Fiona to see if she was having a better day. We all try to encourage each other in our own way. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

    Hugs

    Donna

    I read the post
    But I still don't see tht VickiSam was "bashing" anyone. I think she was doing her best to encourage Fiona to do some things that she felt would help Fiona to eventually feel better.

    I can see where, when someone is in a deep depression, that might not be the approach they were looking for, but we never know what will help and try to do the best we can to encourage, motivate, sympathize, or whatever it takes to help one of our sisters here.

    Laura -

    It sounds like you are in a very scary place right now, and that makes me sadder than you can imagine. I sincerely hope that you are able to find a way to pull out of that dark place and come back to the light. We will help in any way we can.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #8
    MAJW said:

    ??????????????????
    I have yet to read anything where Vicki Sam is bashing Fiona.......

    hmmmm, I just don't get it.
    hmmmm, I just don't get it. Vickisam did not say anything bad to Fiona, trying to undersand. Laura, are you angry that Vickisam did not respond to your post "second chance to say goodbye"?
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #9
    meena1 said:

    hmmmm, I just don't get it.
    hmmmm, I just don't get it. Vickisam did not say anything bad to Fiona, trying to undersand. Laura, are you angry that Vickisam did not respond to your post "second chance to say goodbye"?

    Laura, also just a
    Laura, also just a thought...you can private message someone if you are upset with that person instead of starting an angry post against her.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #10
    MAJW said:

    ??????????????????
    I have yet to read anything where Vicki Sam is bashing Fiona.......

    Laura
    I get what you are
    Laura
    I get what you are saying. I never have felt so alone in the world until I had to face this disease with no husband , no family near by, and only a few close girlfriends to help me through the process. Unless you've walked in those shoes, there is no way to appreciate the depth of that kind of lonliness. I think Laura is feeling that Vickie Sam was trivialing Fiona's pain. I'm sure Vickie Sam in no way intended to do that. Laura, sweet sweet sister,we hear you....what can we do to help?
  • FionaC
    FionaC Member Posts: 7
    #11
    Laura
    I am really sorry about the way you feel. And to be honest your post kinda scared me!
    Certainly hope you are ok.
    Mine was a moment of weakness and I am back on track. It's amazing what lack of sleep,
    exercise and lack of family in my case can do to someone. I still have lot of fight in me I
    found when I finally got some well deserved sleep. And I really wish I would asked for
    sleep medication much earlier. It just never dawned on me that lack of sleep could break
    me down like that.
    I have no hard feeling for anything anyone said because I know they mean well. And if the
    shoe was on the other foot I would have done the same thing.

    Now I feel really bad for posting that. I certainly did not want to start anything. I just had
    a meltdown and I was so scared that cancer would get the better of me.

    F.C
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #12
    FionaC said:

    Laura
    I am really sorry about the way you feel. And to be honest your post kinda scared me!
    Certainly hope you are ok.
    Mine was a moment of weakness and I am back on track. It's amazing what lack of sleep,
    exercise and lack of family in my case can do to someone. I still have lot of fight in me I
    found when I finally got some well deserved sleep. And I really wish I would asked for
    sleep medication much earlier. It just never dawned on me that lack of sleep could break
    me down like that.
    I have no hard feeling for anything anyone said because I know they mean well. And if the
    shoe was on the other foot I would have done the same thing.

    Now I feel really bad for posting that. I certainly did not want to start anything. I just had
    a meltdown and I was so scared that cancer would get the better of me.

    F.C

    I'll be damned, Laura .. I didn't say anything negative or
    unkind .. I read all my postings before launching onto our site. We are in control of ourselves.

    Believe me when I say .. we, not our husband, wife, sister or kids ... are the ones that put 1 foot in front of the other, and decide what kind of day it's going to be, to the best of our abilities at that point of time. I offered hope, love and support in my post to Fiona - and I had hope to offer a voice stating that we all have choices ...we are strong independent women.

    My breast cancer road has not been an easy one! Ask Miss Bella Luna, and TJ Hay who called and checked on me for weeks, during my darkestof times. There were weeks on end when I didn't have the energy or stimina to go on .. but somehow I made it.

    Thank you to all of you Warriors that supported my posting.

    Vicki Sam
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    #13
    FionaC said:

    Laura
    I am really sorry about the way you feel. And to be honest your post kinda scared me!
    Certainly hope you are ok.
    Mine was a moment of weakness and I am back on track. It's amazing what lack of sleep,
    exercise and lack of family in my case can do to someone. I still have lot of fight in me I
    found when I finally got some well deserved sleep. And I really wish I would asked for
    sleep medication much earlier. It just never dawned on me that lack of sleep could break
    me down like that.
    I have no hard feeling for anything anyone said because I know they mean well. And if the
    shoe was on the other foot I would have done the same thing.

    Now I feel really bad for posting that. I certainly did not want to start anything. I just had
    a meltdown and I was so scared that cancer would get the better of me.

    F.C

    Glad to hear you are doing better Fiona
    Thanks for the post. Don't feel bad for posting. We all need to vent, and this site is usually the best place.

    I re-read your post again and didn't see bashing or anything negative.
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #14
    Jean 0609 said:

    Glad to hear you are doing better Fiona
    Thanks for the post. Don't feel bad for posting. We all need to vent, and this site is usually the best place.

    I re-read your post again and didn't see bashing or anything negative.

    Fiona .. So glad to hear that you are doing better..
    I pray and hope those dark days are behind you!



    Vicki Sam
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
    #15
    Here's what I see...
    It takes courage and strength to get angry and act on someone else's behalf when you are feeling down. Laura you have a lot of fight left in you! I hope you will use it to kick the cancer's butt. Thanks for showing us that you can still be fiesty!! Hugs, Gracie
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294 Member
    #16
    m_azingrace said:

    Here's what I see...
    It takes courage and strength to get angry and act on someone else's behalf when you are feeling down. Laura you have a lot of fight left in you! I hope you will use it to kick the cancer's butt. Thanks for showing us that you can still be fiesty!! Hugs, Gracie

    i am glad that
    Laura's post stimulated Fiona to post and to answer. I am also glad that Fiona have been feeling better. Laura, please accept help from members of this board or your physician. We all care and we all feel sad from time to time.
    Wishing everyone a nice weekend,
    New Flower
  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    #17
    cindycflynn said:

    I read the post
    But I still don't see tht VickiSam was "bashing" anyone. I think she was doing her best to encourage Fiona to do some things that she felt would help Fiona to eventually feel better.

    I can see where, when someone is in a deep depression, that might not be the approach they were looking for, but we never know what will help and try to do the best we can to encourage, motivate, sympathize, or whatever it takes to help one of our sisters here.

    Laura -

    It sounds like you are in a very scary place right now, and that makes me sadder than you can imagine. I sincerely hope that you are able to find a way to pull out of that dark place and come back to the light. We will help in any way we can.

    Take care,
    Cindy

    I agree with you whole
    I agree with you whole heartedly. I cannot see that VickiSam ever meant to be anything but encouraging and supportive.

    Hugs

    Donna
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #18
    New Flower said:

    i am glad that
    Laura's post stimulated Fiona to post and to answer. I am also glad that Fiona have been feeling better. Laura, please accept help from members of this board or your physician. We all care and we all feel sad from time to time.
    Wishing everyone a nice weekend,
    New Flower

    Thank goodness we have these
    Thank goodness we have these boards to vent, share our anger, loneliness, hurt feelings, etc etc. Yes sometimes the written word may be interpreted totally different from the composer's meaning. I truly understand it and truly believe that no matter how one interprets another's words, we mean well and do not intend to scold or offend anyone.

    We all walk our lonely walk with this beast and I really believe that only those who walk it can truly understand the emotions and physical trauma we experience. Laura we all understand as does Fiona and Vicki. We are not alone we have each other on these boards to tell our true story.

    Vicki had one very difficult walk with this beast but as difficult as it was, her postings helped me immeasurably with my walk as did the postings of others.

    The only support I had was my hubby, these boards and my strong faith in God. For many years before BC I had no one to hold on to and thats when I reached for God. There is always help and hope even when we think we will not see the light of day again. I also gave in and went on anti depressants and I thank God everyday for giving me that willingness to take them. We dont have all the answers but we will offer any support we can. Hugs.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #19
    natly15 said:

    Thank goodness we have these
    Thank goodness we have these boards to vent, share our anger, loneliness, hurt feelings, etc etc. Yes sometimes the written word may be interpreted totally different from the composer's meaning. I truly understand it and truly believe that no matter how one interprets another's words, we mean well and do not intend to scold or offend anyone.

    We all walk our lonely walk with this beast and I really believe that only those who walk it can truly understand the emotions and physical trauma we experience. Laura we all understand as does Fiona and Vicki. We are not alone we have each other on these boards to tell our true story.

    Vicki had one very difficult walk with this beast but as difficult as it was, her postings helped me immeasurably with my walk as did the postings of others.

    The only support I had was my hubby, these boards and my strong faith in God. For many years before BC I had no one to hold on to and thats when I reached for God. There is always help and hope even when we think we will not see the light of day again. I also gave in and went on anti depressants and I thank God everyday for giving me that willingness to take them. We dont have all the answers but we will offer any support we can. Hugs.

    well said natly! :)

    well said natly! :)
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #20
    FionaC said:

    Laura
    I am really sorry about the way you feel. And to be honest your post kinda scared me!
    Certainly hope you are ok.
    Mine was a moment of weakness and I am back on track. It's amazing what lack of sleep,
    exercise and lack of family in my case can do to someone. I still have lot of fight in me I
    found when I finally got some well deserved sleep. And I really wish I would asked for
    sleep medication much earlier. It just never dawned on me that lack of sleep could break
    me down like that.
    I have no hard feeling for anything anyone said because I know they mean well. And if the
    shoe was on the other foot I would have done the same thing.

    Now I feel really bad for posting that. I certainly did not want to start anything. I just had
    a meltdown and I was so scared that cancer would get the better of me.

    F.C

    Fiona
    Fiona - I'm glad you are feeling better and got some much needed rest. Do not feel bad at all for posting your feelings. I try to be updeat and positive through all this to frankly - help me keep some of my sanity and also some sense of my former self, but I too had a meltdown post earlier this week. That's the great thing about this site - along with the well wishes, good advice, questions answered - this is a place where we can vent about the not so fun cancer experience we're all going through & know that the rest of us know what you're going through, have words of encouragement & wisdom, and really do help take the edge off those crappy days that we all have from time to time.
    Lack of sleep can take everything out of you, I have a really hard time sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours a night, but I do have good sleep meds now that help me out. I take naps during the day WHENEVER the opportunity arises.
    Again, I'm glad that you're doing better, and I really hope that Laura is doing ok as well. You can feel to private message any time, if you'd like. I'd be happy to share my email address with you, or if you're on FB (which is where I spend half of my days anymore, when the energy is zapped out of me!!)
    *hugs & please take care*
    Heather

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