Hat in the creek, the cows crapped on it and stepped on it
Kerry S
Member Posts: 606 Member
Well we got up at 4:30 am and drove the 110 miles to the surgery center for my 5th colonoscopy in 2 years. The whole damn time hoping all the prep was out of me. Kept the bottom side puckered the entire trip. Just made it without sharting green Jell-O residue in my pants.
Got another hot nurse to take care of getting me ready. (I do have a thing for nurses) When I came to had a nice (but not hot) nurse. She shoved an anal tube in me and it made a squealing noise getting the damn air out of me. I could have filled up all 4 tires on the car with the air that was trapped in there. Could not play a tune with it or get anything close to my past mother of all farts.
The doc came in and showed me photos of the bad spot. He said “he is sure it is cancer, but he biopsied the hell out of it”. I must have a bad influence on him.
He will finalize the plan of attack Monday. However he said he wants to take out a few inches of my rectum and put me on a bag for a few months. Then reconnect me. He could not do it transanal this time as the spot is too close to the first tumor removed that way. He wants big **** margins this time around.
He reviewed my PET and said my liver (with out it your deader) looks great as does everything else but this one damned spot. Does that make me a stage 1????
There was a lot to think about on the 2 hour drive home. Saint Susie drove as I was still stoned. Sometimes being stoned while thinking out a problem is good. You don’t get hung up on the small stuff.
My youngest son just sent this to me in a email.
Not the best news....but I'm glad to hear you are open minded about the short term bag bit. Remember this....
"The mind is like a parachute...it only works when it's open" - Frank Zappa -
Kerry
Got another hot nurse to take care of getting me ready. (I do have a thing for nurses) When I came to had a nice (but not hot) nurse. She shoved an anal tube in me and it made a squealing noise getting the damn air out of me. I could have filled up all 4 tires on the car with the air that was trapped in there. Could not play a tune with it or get anything close to my past mother of all farts.
The doc came in and showed me photos of the bad spot. He said “he is sure it is cancer, but he biopsied the hell out of it”. I must have a bad influence on him.
He will finalize the plan of attack Monday. However he said he wants to take out a few inches of my rectum and put me on a bag for a few months. Then reconnect me. He could not do it transanal this time as the spot is too close to the first tumor removed that way. He wants big **** margins this time around.
He reviewed my PET and said my liver (with out it your deader) looks great as does everything else but this one damned spot. Does that make me a stage 1????
There was a lot to think about on the 2 hour drive home. Saint Susie drove as I was still stoned. Sometimes being stoned while thinking out a problem is good. You don’t get hung up on the small stuff.
My youngest son just sent this to me in a email.
Not the best news....but I'm glad to hear you are open minded about the short term bag bit. Remember this....
"The mind is like a parachute...it only works when it's open" - Frank Zappa -
Kerry
0
Comments
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Sorry about the news
Sorry the news was not better, but still not as bad as it could have been.
As for the bag...not that bad a deal, I have had one since March,...and you may get away with yours being a temp thing.
Sounds like you and doc have found it early which is always the key to keeping the monster at bay.
The good news is no other signs anywhere else.
Wade in for the hat, wash it off before exiting the creek and keep on keeping on!
To better health for us all,
Marie0 -
Cow
Tell that cow to moooooove on over and get off your hat, you need to pick it up (Perhaps with tongs after what the cow did to it)wash it off in that creek, hang it up on the clothesline to dry, then put it right back on.
You'll do fine, you'll beat it again.
Winter Marie0 -
Hey Guytootsie1 said:Sorry
Kerry,
I'm sorry about your news, but it's not as dire as it could have been. I think your son is wonderful!
I'll be praying for complete healing this time!
*hugs*
Gail
Hi Kerry,
Yeah, this sucks but you are a warrier..... it's all going to work out just fine. Get that sucker gone and be done with it. You take care
Jennie0 -
I'm really upset to hear
I'm really upset to hear this, but it is great that your liver is still in good shape, and it is great that you are still cheering us up with your stories. I think going for "big **** margins" is a great plan.
Having the bag is the least difficult part about fighting cancer. Also, it makes it really easy to crap in the woods. You can just stand there and fling it all over the place if you want to. Be careful with the dog. He'll be real interested. I changed my bag a few days ago in the back seat of the van while parked on a street in downtown Charlotte. There were lots of people walking by, but no one could see in the dark windows. I think if someone did notice, they would be way more embarrassed that me. I threw the old bag at the parking cop who was hassling Kim about the meter running out. (Okay I didn't really, he was already gone by the time I was in position.)
We'll just keep fighting. NO other choice.
Looking forward to cooler weather so I can send you some real sparks. It's too hot for a fire.
Take care.- Roger0 -
Kerry:
Not the news you wanted to hear, not the news I wanted to hear but there is good news in all of this, your liver, lungs and rest of the organs look good and that part is really great news.
You will do the surgery and whatever else may come and I'm betting that scary old woman will be right there with you every step of the way.
Take care - Tina0 -
Not good, not terrible,
Not good, not terrible, just...well more crap to scrape off the shoe so to speak.
Do what you gotta do, and do it with that famous Kerry attitude and you and the "mean ol' lady" will have many more jaunts into the woods on the tractor.
Love the Zappa quote, amazingly insightful for a man who named his child Moon Unit, lol.0 -
Sending my best...
And Kerry, I must say...you ALWAYS give me a giggle!!!!!
With all the laughter and lightness you have AND give away, I KNOW things are going to work out!!!!
BIG hugs, Kathi
(BTW, we are expecting cows to be put in our 'back 40' any day now...it's almost time for 'farmer golf'...the rules are basically the same, but a few twists: One, you wear wooden shoes (to avoid messing up your good 'uns). Two, there is no 'sand hazard' BUT a poop hazard...YOU get to decide if it's worth retrieving your ball, or just taking a stroke. THREE, and MOST important...there are real, honest-to-gosh cows sharing the field...they are neither to be fed or messed with...they poop, and if they get mad, well, that's 2 sides of beef and a bad attitude headed your way!!!!! Say CHEESE!)0 -
To Kerry and his Loving Wife.............KathiM said:Sending my best...
And Kerry, I must say...you ALWAYS give me a giggle!!!!!
With all the laughter and lightness you have AND give away, I KNOW things are going to work out!!!!
BIG hugs, Kathi
(BTW, we are expecting cows to be put in our 'back 40' any day now...it's almost time for 'farmer golf'...the rules are basically the same, but a few twists: One, you wear wooden shoes (to avoid messing up your good 'uns). Two, there is no 'sand hazard' BUT a poop hazard...YOU get to decide if it's worth retrieving your ball, or just taking a stroke. THREE, and MOST important...there are real, honest-to-gosh cows sharing the field...they are neither to be fed or messed with...they poop, and if they get mad, well, that's 2 sides of beef and a bad attitude headed your way!!!!! Say CHEESE!)
See buddy...thats how you dole out the BS that keeps em coming back ...
....I know how mean your wife is...about as mean as the angel she is...Yeah, we talk a good line until we turn around and their right behind us....HEHE...then its on like Donkey Kong.....really tho , I got an idea that yours and my wife is the only reason we are around right now...somebodies got to keep us straight.....my wife told me theres no way she'll break another one in after puttin up with me for 15 years..LOL...got news for her, we are 19 years apart in age and when I die she will be 101 so I don't think Im to worried about losing her to another....LOL...Hang in there buddy...and PLEASE don't let my wife see this....even though I know that you and me are the bosses in our homes....and if I want her to hear that comment, I'll tell her.......Love ya bud, kick the chit out of it......Buzz 0
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