How / When to tell my mom?

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  • Dragons7-7-2010
    Dragons7-7-2010 Member Posts: 79
    #22
    ButtonsMom said:

    I feel your pain....
    I had the same thing. My oncologist put me on a strong chemo. Plus radiation. I feel you should tell your mom. It already sounds like you will have a lot of wonderful support not only from your family, but from those who are here too. Me, I wasn't so lucky. My ex-husband was the worst when it came to support. None of my family called or even bothered to see me, even being a state away.

    If you have a religion of choice, sit down and talk to your pastor as well. Find some local support groups in your area as well. You are not alone in this. =)

    Cancer, of any kind, is a very hard thing to go through. The best thing to do is keep your spirits up and beat this. Don't stop living. It may be hard, there are times you want to cry, and Lord knows I have done a lot of crying (to myself), but remember to laugh. When I was going to my radiation treatments, I always joked with the nurses. Always did goofy stuff. =) And to this day, still do! heehee!

    I have survived 9 years, 10 come January, and if WE can beat it, SO CAN YOU. Please stay positive and know that not only your friends and family care, we do too.

    Sending prayers and many blessings your way, along with some hugs!

    staying positive
    ButtonsMom,

    I am working staying positive moment by moment. Looking for the fun in things. I figure if my hair will fall out from chemo now is the time to get the cute short haircut I always wanted to try but never have. And then the other day went to check out wigs I met a woman who was battling breast cancer for the 3rd time and her daughter was helping her pick out a wig. I told them I was just looking and then we had a blast when they convinced me to try on wigs. It was silly fun and I know for some it may be depressing but we made a party of it if you will. Trying on crazy wigs and joking. I figure if a woman who battled breast cancer twice and was on her third breast cancer can be positive and joke so can I.

    If others can beat this so can I. I am using my competitive nature for this.. since I have alwasys wanted to do better than others in school, work etc. I figure why not turn beating cancer into a competition.

    Bye for now.

    ~ E. Cib.
  • Dragons7-7-2010
    Dragons7-7-2010 Member Posts: 79
    #23
    Irishgypsie said:

    Glad you were able to talk to your Mom.
    Hey, I read your post earlier but didn't post because I was waiting to see the outcome. I'm glad you were able to speak with your mom and the rest of your sisters. Though it was still hard I was able to tell my mom right away; even though she really wasn't able to help much she is 68 and kind of out there mentally! Another story. I wanted to connect with you because yes we all on here have the same thing in common (oral cancer); however our AGE and being single; plus location (tonsil) make it more in common. I think being single made it harder going through this; yes I had friends and some family, but it's not the same as having a wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend or partner. Anyway, I am 6 weeks post treatment and am doing much better physically; mentally it's a rollercoaster, some days, good some days i still get pissed off and cry say life isn't fare why me, why now, I never smoked, etc. But I still wake up everyday and deal with it.

    I actually will get my feeding tube out next week. Overall, I lost 30 lbs mainly in muscle mass. 5'11 160lbs. Though some did it without a feeding tube; I noticed the ones who were able to do it had the weight to lose! Let me know if you have any specific questions. my e-mail is chased71@yahoo.com I also spend time on the oralcancer foundation blog. They have alot of cancer survivor stories which is nice!!!! Good luck!!
    question: Did you find out if your tumor was HPV +16 positive.

    Charles
    P.S. I was stationed in Texas alot with the Air Force I miss some good tex-mex and the girls are smokin hot!!! :)

    things in common
    Charles,

    It is nice to communicate with others that have cancer particularly when we have several things in common as you said age, single, location (tonsil).
    I also find it hard not having a husband, boyfriend, partner etc. Yes, I have great friends, sisters, co-workers who email and call but it is still not the same.

    I do have weight I can spare to lose so maybe the fact that I have been unable to lose weight and hypothyroid will be to my benefit as the feeding tube scares me. Don't know why but it just does. I guess it is also the fear of the unknown.

    I did find out my tumor is HPV+16 positive. I'd like to find out more about how one gets a tumor tha tis HPV+16 as I don't live the lifestyle that I would think would give me HPV. Ten again I was told by a nurse and doctor that HPV can be transmitted by various means.

    Anyhow, that's all for the moment.

    ~ E. Cib

    PS I am fron New Jersey so miss some real Italian - pizza calzones, gelato from Rita's. By brother in law is in the Air Force and my mom jokes because when he and I visit NJ she can predict the first things we will want to do 1) go to Joseph's for a pizza or calzone 2) go to Rita's for gelato.
  • JUDYV5
    JUDYV5 Member Posts: 392
    #24
    Dragons7-7-2010 said:

    staying positive
    ButtonsMom,

    I am working staying positive moment by moment. Looking for the fun in things. I figure if my hair will fall out from chemo now is the time to get the cute short haircut I always wanted to try but never have. And then the other day went to check out wigs I met a woman who was battling breast cancer for the 3rd time and her daughter was helping her pick out a wig. I told them I was just looking and then we had a blast when they convinced me to try on wigs. It was silly fun and I know for some it may be depressing but we made a party of it if you will. Trying on crazy wigs and joking. I figure if a woman who battled breast cancer twice and was on her third breast cancer can be positive and joke so can I.

    If others can beat this so can I. I am using my competitive nature for this.. since I have alwasys wanted to do better than others in school, work etc. I figure why not turn beating cancer into a competition.

    Bye for now.

    ~ E. Cib.

    Wigs
    I was told I wouldn't lose my hair - it would just thin. You can't even tell that I lost some by looking at me. I did cut it shorter because it was to much to shove all my hair into the mask during tx. You meet the most wonderul people hanging out at the cancer center. I always thought it would be a doom and gloom place before. However, it is a very
    upbeat and positive. You will meet the most amazing people. Staying positive is contagious.
  • rozaroo
    rozaroo Member Posts: 665
    #25
    JUDYV5 said:

    Wigs
    I was told I wouldn't lose my hair - it would just thin. You can't even tell that I lost some by looking at me. I did cut it shorter because it was to much to shove all my hair into the mask during tx. You meet the most wonderul people hanging out at the cancer center. I always thought it would be a doom and gloom place before. However, it is a very
    upbeat and positive. You will meet the most amazing people. Staying positive is contagious.

    Hair
    I did not loose my hair it just thinned out a bit & no one could tell. I have
    long hair & am attached to it lol. Radiation at the nape of my neck caused hair loss. However, it is all growing back now. Your rad technician will be able to show you exactly
    the field where you will be treated. Cisplatin was my chemo drug & it causes hair thinning. My medical oncologist said no hair colour to be used for six month's post treatment. So I am three week's away to a new me lol!I did not venture too far with three
    different shades of hair lol!
    Best of luck with your treatment!
    Roz
  • JUDYV5
    JUDYV5 Member Posts: 392
    #26
    rozaroo said:

    Hair
    I did not loose my hair it just thinned out a bit & no one could tell. I have
    long hair & am attached to it lol. Radiation at the nape of my neck caused hair loss. However, it is all growing back now. Your rad technician will be able to show you exactly
    the field where you will be treated. Cisplatin was my chemo drug & it causes hair thinning. My medical oncologist said no hair colour to be used for six month's post treatment. So I am three week's away to a new me lol!I did not venture too far with three
    different shades of hair lol!
    Best of luck with your treatment!
    Roz

    Hair
    I didn't know that about the hair color. The grey seems to be the stuff that is growing back and I was thinking about it - now I will wait a bit longer.
  • rozaroo
    rozaroo Member Posts: 665
    #27
    JUDYV5 said:

    Hair
    I didn't know that about the hair color. The grey seems to be the stuff that is growing back and I was thinking about it - now I will wait a bit longer.

    not to colour my hair Judy
    I had a difficult time getting the correct answer. My Chemo Dr simply stated no hair colour. I was bleaching my hair & that is a very harsh process. I finally spoke with a hairdresser that worked with cancer patient's in my city. She told me not to colour my hair for at least six month's minimum. Plus to get my hairdresser to do a patch test before hand to make sure there would be no reaction. If there is to wait longer. Some ladies waited untill one year before colouring. The reason being it can cause Alopecia
    (baldness) I am also going to use less harmfull chemicals on my hair from now on. The treatment really dried out my hair so I am going more natural now. It took me forever to find a straight answer. I am also getting a patch test done this week.

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