Emotional day

I'm sorry you had one of
I'm sorry you had one of those "moments". Mine have been very few & far between also but I've had a couple of freak-outs (as i like to call them). I'm glad everything went well for your appointment, though. Lucky me, I started chemo right about the time my PMS kicked in -so I've been a cranky, sore, blubbering mess for the past week.
*big hugs*
Heather

Ritzy said:

So sorry Jean
I am so sorry Jean that you are having such a bad day. But, you need to know that it is perfectly normal, and, it happens to all of us.

No one gave us a rule book or a how to act book when we were diagnosed with bc. I certainly wish they would have.

And, I can see how your appointment hit you hard with remembering that awful day when your lump was found. But, look at how far you have come! You have been through so much already, but, there is light at the end of the tunnel!


And, guess what? We are all there waiting for you, to celebrate and to give you big cyber hugs.

So, let me send you a big one right now and I hope you feel better!


Sue

We know how you feel, Jean
Some days I get so sick of putting on my big smile--and hearing people say, "Wow, you look so great, you're doing so great, you're my hero, I'm so proud of you!" When inside I'm feeling--this really sucks and I feel really crappy, I'm sometimes I'm just so sad.

But, another day dawns, and my mood changes and things look a little brighter.
I wish that day for you, today, Jean.

Hugs, Renee

Jean 0609 said:

Thanks everyone!
I feel better already. I guess I just needed to get it out. I read your posts and cried a little more, but now I'm done. You are all so wonderful and I'm glad to have you all as a part of my life. This is such a blessing to have this site whenever I need it. Hugs, Jean

Emotions
My dear Jean, you are so normal to have those moments, and we would all be very jealous if you didn't. It is part of the process of getting through treatment, and even survival. I was one of those who never shed a tear, trying to make it easier on my family. About six months after completing chemo, I had a skin flap that started growing in the corner of my eyelid, and I had my oncologist look at it for me. He suggested having it removed by a dermatologist. I made my appointment, sat down in the office, and in walks the dermatologist. She leans over and says, "Boy you have really been through it." That's all it took. I bawled like a baby. It was so embarrassing, but at the same time, it felt good to get out all of that emotion I had been holding inside. I am sure that doctor regrets to this day even speaking to me, but not only did she remove the flap, she gave me the opportunity to let down my guard and release the tensions. We never know when these emotions will come to the surface, but thank God they do. Living with this whole breast cancer journey is emotional, and you use whatever outlet you have to deal with these emotions. I have such strong family/friend backing, and I also have the ability to choose when and where I have my breakdowns. This board is such a great outlet, and no one on here is going to think for a minute that you are anything less than normal. Welcome to the roller coaster we all are riding.....and know that the ups are just as thrilling as the downs, and that one follows the other. Hang in there. We are here for you any time! Hugs, Judy

jo jo said:

Those darn emotions just
Those darn emotions just have a way of creeping up on us with no warning...they just jump out of nowhere...then we have to put them back in check...then we feel better!
Thats awesome that everything turned out good!!! Im glad your feeling a little better now!!

Funny thing
I have always cried easily. Sad movie I am the one bawling. But even when I got my diagnosis I didn't cry. I have had times when I feel wheepy but haven't been able to shed any tears? Wierd huh?

CypressCynthia said:

Jean, you are a true survivor
Yes, yes. There have been days, even years when I am fine and then, out of nowhere, something hits hard and I'm left a blubbering fool. My hubbie and daughter understand. Sometimes, the health care folks get it and sometimes not. Then I am just like you, I am assuring them that I am not depressed, etc.

I think I am like one of Pavlov's dogs where now, when I am in a healthcare setting, my mind and body are conditioned for a shock. It makes it harder to be diligent, but I make myself anyway.

Healing tears
You were at your doctor's office on "the day". Not the month, but still "the day". That's very emotional. You've only just started the chapter of your life. And you're still healing. It's good to cry and have "those moments". Who can keep that "stiff upper lip" going? I sure can't. I've burst into tears with my pcp more than once. She said that usually I'm the "strong patient" and it gives her a good jolt when I surrender to the tears.

Unless these episodes of tears and sadness come more frequently and stay around longer, and you just can't shake "the blues", the I wouldn't worry. You're quite normal with yourself at this place in your healing.