just venting

teresa41
teresa41 Member Posts: 471
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
i was diagnosed april 2009 with breast cancer on my left side. i had a lumpectomy chemo and radiation, it is to late now but i was not told i had invasive ductal carcinoma if i had known it and knew what it was i would have had a masectomy. april 2010 i was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in situ on my right side .i had a masectomy may 20, 2010 i know i have to give myself time but i have no energy at all i was laying down yesterday and my brother came over and made a comment that i am tired because all i do is worry about the cancer coming back. i have had no support from my family either time i went through it. i found the strength to get through it. i see a plastic surgeon in august to start reconstruction on my right breast i would like my left removed also and just start with them both new.


thank you for letting me vent

teresa

Comments

  • sohardbnme
    sohardbnme Member Posts: 129
    #2
    I am here...ty for venting...
    Teresa...I understand totally...
    I had a nightmare about chemo...I called someone as soon as I woke up 6:00 amish...(realizing the nightmare wasn’t real) I said to them is this real, I have cancer...I start chemo Monday...( I am terrified)...
    Her response was," told you about that, when you stress and are not positive, you make cancer spread"...
    MY RESPONSE WAS, "I HAD A DREAM; SORRY I AM NOT POSITIVE, I WILL CALL YOU LATER"... she had cancer before, so I figured I could vent…
    I had a nightmare, what did that have to do with my overall spirit...
    Your brother does not understand, an or is incapable of empathizing… (Does not mean he is not being supportive on purpose)… You have to use this forum…
    Your post was so helpful to me…
    God had been sending me support...The individuals, who I thought would be here, are not... I only have one blood family member support…
    Some are just not capable of dealing with CANCER or sickness as a whole...
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #3
    sohardbnme said:

    I am here...ty for venting...
    Teresa...I understand totally...
    I had a nightmare about chemo...I called someone as soon as I woke up 6:00 amish...(realizing the nightmare wasn’t real) I said to them is this real, I have cancer...I start chemo Monday...( I am terrified)...
    Her response was," told you about that, when you stress and are not positive, you make cancer spread"...
    MY RESPONSE WAS, "I HAD A DREAM; SORRY I AM NOT POSITIVE, I WILL CALL YOU LATER"... she had cancer before, so I figured I could vent…
    I had a nightmare, what did that have to do with my overall spirit...
    Your brother does not understand, an or is incapable of empathizing… (Does not mean he is not being supportive on purpose)… You have to use this forum…
    Your post was so helpful to me…
    God had been sending me support...The individuals, who I thought would be here, are not... I only have one blood family member support…
    Some are just not capable of dealing with CANCER or sickness as a whole...

    Teresa
    I am sorry that you do not have family support. I have been wondering about you since you have not posted for sometime. How was your pathology report. It is normal to feel down so much has happened over the past 14 months. General anesthesia can cause physical and emotional fatigue. Please talk to your doctors about it. They also might prescribe antidepressants. You overcome cancer twice -not too many people can accomplish the victory like this. You should be proud of yourself.
    Hugs,
    New Flower
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #4
    Teresa, sorry you're going through this again.
    If you don't have family support, you certainly have it here! Also, if you're feeling depressed there are wonderful support groups available or just tell your doctor and maybe he/she can prescribe an antidepressant. You can't change what was done but you can move forward. I had bilateral mast'my June 22. I had ILC 6.1cm in right breast and LCIS in left breast. I didn't want to be told next year that I had invasive cancer in left breast. I don't blame you for wanting both breasts to look alike. Talk with plastic surgeon. Try to keep your spirits up. Sending cyber {{hugs}}.
    Char
  • Scotch Freckles
    Scotch Freckles Member Posts: 273 Member
    #5
    Teresa I feel your anxiety,
    Teresa I feel your anxiety, pain, confusion, disappointment. The journey alone or without support is long. Here we all support each other with knowledge and reaching out to each other. Are you able to discuss your concerns of recurrance in your left side with your insurance company and your oncologist/surgeon prior to starting reconstruction. A little discussion goes a long way. Depression will zap all of your energy. Venting helps for sure. Keep us posted on your progress. Kathryn
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    Nuts to your Bro!!!!
    WHAT a TERRIBLE thing to say!!!!!!

    (I probably would have popped back with "well, my fears are well founded now, aren't they? It's the second time!!!!!!")

    I didn't have 2 times with breast cancer, but my first was stage III rectal cancer, and second, 6 months later, was stage II breast cancer....I can appreciate what you are saying, dear soul!!!!

    Know that we are here with you, walking beside you. Anything that will help, just ask...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #7
    I'm sorry for what you are going through
    I am praying for you. And you will always have your family here. We understand and care. I don't think its that your brother don't care he just don't know any better. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Take care Teresa, keep us posted OK. Kay
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #8
    smalldoggroomer said:

    I'm sorry for what you are going through
    I am praying for you. And you will always have your family here. We understand and care. I don't think its that your brother don't care he just don't know any better. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Take care Teresa, keep us posted OK. Kay

    Teresa
    I first had a
    Teresa
    I first had a lumpectomy, but the margins weren't clear and the surgeon went back and did a mastectomy the next month. I don't see why your surgeon wouldn't go ahead and do it if that's what you want.Make's sense to me since you've done the other side. Talk to them and tell them that's what you want for your peace of mind.
  • Hubby
    Hubby Member Posts: 325
    #9
    So if we all just stop
    So if we all just stop worrying and think happy thoughts we can cure cancer. Okay, I am trying it right now.... really positive thoughts aimed at Donna's cancer... Well that didn't work; I guess we'll stick with chemo.

    Sorry about your recurrence, I can't imagine if Donna had to go through this a second time; we're having a hard enough time with once.

    And this is a great place to vent. You can do this!!!
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #10
    I'm so sorry you're going
    I'm so sorry you're going through this again, and don't have the family support that I wish you did. If my brother had said that to me, I would have hit him in the head with one of my shoes. Please know that whenever you need to vent, this is the perfect place for it! We all have our trying times through the breast cancer BS, and it's good to vent about it to all of us who know what you're going through. Best of luck to you with your reconstruction - I had cancer in my right breast & chose to have a bilateral mastectomy, so I'm starting with both new.
    *big big hugs*
    Heather
  • bakerette
    bakerette Member Posts: 74
    #11
    So sorry you are going
    So sorry you are going through this crap again. That's why I got my bilateral mast. I just didn't want to go through it again. I'm not sure I believe that lumpectomy and radiation is the same as mastectomy. I've read of so many recurrences. I have also got strange family reactions. One sister said "These things come and go leave it alone and it will just go away." Right. My other sister said "How can you let these people do this to you?" I guess they think that I can just wish it away. or ignore it and it will go away. I don't know. Point is people don't mean to be ignorant, they just are. Do what is right for you.
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #12
    bakerette said:

    So sorry you are going
    So sorry you are going through this crap again. That's why I got my bilateral mast. I just didn't want to go through it again. I'm not sure I believe that lumpectomy and radiation is the same as mastectomy. I've read of so many recurrences. I have also got strange family reactions. One sister said "These things come and go leave it alone and it will just go away." Right. My other sister said "How can you let these people do this to you?" I guess they think that I can just wish it away. or ignore it and it will go away. I don't know. Point is people don't mean to be ignorant, they just are. Do what is right for you.

    Your brother is a jerk

    Your brother is a jerk
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #13
    New Flower said:

    Teresa
    I am sorry that you do not have family support. I have been wondering about you since you have not posted for sometime. How was your pathology report. It is normal to feel down so much has happened over the past 14 months. General anesthesia can cause physical and emotional fatigue. Please talk to your doctors about it. They also might prescribe antidepressants. You overcome cancer twice -not too many people can accomplish the victory like this. You should be proud of yourself.
    Hugs,
    New Flower

    I am so sorry you had a
    I am so sorry you had a recurrence Teresa. And, really sorry that you don't seem to have family support. Talk to your oncologist about your depression. There are so many meds that maybe an antidepressant can help you.

    Hugs, Angie
  • reeseslover1234
    reeseslover1234 Member Posts: 87
    #14
    Venting is GOOD for you
    Vent all you need to. This is the place to let it all out. I know how you feel about being worried. Positive thoughts can only take you so far. You have the right to worry after it coming back, but don't let it consume you. That's easier said than done, I know. My doc put me on Zoloft after I started to worry that my cancer had come back. This was after a mastectomy and 6 rounds of chemo for triple neg. invasive ductal carcinoma in my left breast. I was not aware that mine was invasive either, but I had always said that if I was ever diagnosed with breast cancer I would have it taken off, so that's what I did. Talk to your surgeon and see what he says about doing the left side also.

    As for your brother, tell him you're trying to be positive for the both of you and that's what's making you so tired.

    I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #15
    reeseslover1234 said:

    Venting is GOOD for you
    Vent all you need to. This is the place to let it all out. I know how you feel about being worried. Positive thoughts can only take you so far. You have the right to worry after it coming back, but don't let it consume you. That's easier said than done, I know. My doc put me on Zoloft after I started to worry that my cancer had come back. This was after a mastectomy and 6 rounds of chemo for triple neg. invasive ductal carcinoma in my left breast. I was not aware that mine was invasive either, but I had always said that if I was ever diagnosed with breast cancer I would have it taken off, so that's what I did. Talk to your surgeon and see what he says about doing the left side also.

    As for your brother, tell him you're trying to be positive for the both of you and that's what's making you so tired.

    I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers.

    I have been dealing with
    I have been dealing with this for many years and have heard so many stupid things. Most of the time I ignore it but I have no patience for "ignorant" remarks. People should never tell you what you think or feel, or why you do things. even here on the board everyone understands how many perspectives we all bring to this experience. But these perspectives are appreciated and respected. if you havent walked in our shoes you dont fully get it.
    I know how you feel, my surgeon was having family problems, he neglected to tell me my biopsy was LCIS, I thought it was displasia. this would have set my alarms off and I would have explored things quicker and perhaps found this cancer at an earlier stage. I know I would have pushed for the mastectomy I was thinking about. This is my second. Had it in the left in 1994, and the right in 2009. I was tired of the stress of biopsies, and wanted my second mastectomy, if I had the choice though I may have had the lumpectomy, it is a personal choice.

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