I'm scared it will come back

Nothing is "inevitable"....
Nothing, Putzie, is inevitable except death and taxes!! I don't know your cancer history, and will look at your profile in a bit, but I am 4 years out, and I have to tell you that the thought of mets is on my mind, but gets pushed back further and further into the background daily! The only time I really think of it (and this is normal) is when it's time for mammo's and checkups, and then I really get nervous. You've been so busy wrapping your mind around your diagnosis, treatments, and healing, that there hasn't been time to think of much to think of much else. Now here comes your surgery, and you have to heal from that!!

So, here's my 2 cents in all of this....for what it's worth. It seems like your team is really working for you AGAINST another occurance. They have gone after this beast, guns ablazing. Cancer truly is a crap shoot.....there are some who have reoccurances. And YES, my dear, there are those who have only one bout. My aunt, who is 91, had cancer in her late thirties or early 40's....she can't remember. She had a radical mastectomy. Her cancer never returned. NEVER. She found the lump under her arm. They didn't stage back in those days, nor did they "type". Her2+?? Who knows. All we are excited about is that she's still standing! I have a younger cousin, way younger than I am, who was diagnosed about 25 years ago. Has had only 1 bout. See? It does happen.

My advice is to relax, breathe, and take one day at a time. If the "day" is to much, then one moment....one breathe. Try not to worry about reoccurance right now. Focus on the now. That's all we're allowed to see anyway.

Hope this helps a little. I'm sending you gentle thoughts and prayers for strengh, courage, a succcesful surgery, and rapid healing. If there is a time space allowed for something other than "worry", be nice to yourself this weekend. Do something that makes no sense to anyone BUT YOU! Congrats on finishing your chemo.

survives

laurissa said:

Hi putzie
I'm always thinking the same thing. Going through treatment your mind is occupied with the side effects and dealing with them, you don't think of cancer itself. Then treatment is over, then the thinking starts and worrying. I'm sort of in limbo because I'm not sure and doctors not sure if I have bone met on hip. But they're treating as if it is. The spot I had before chemo was gone after chemo. Stage 4 is a scary prognosis. But today I feel very well, been trying to eat better and get more activiy in. During chemo was rough, 6 months past now. Good luck with surgery.

I finished rads in June and
I finished rads in June and had chemo before that and am now taking Femara. I also have been thinking a lot about recurrance and find myself scared at times. I won't have my mammo until Jan. as my doctors want to wait a good six months after treatment. I try really hard to be glad that I've made it this far but the fear and what ifs are still there. I'm so glad you gals are responding with such understanding and positive thinking. Thank you.

ppurdin said:

Fear.
We all think about it reacurring.And it is scary to think we may go through it again.I try not to let it contain my thoughts.We can only do the best fight we can and Pray that it doesn,t come back.And if it does we will have to fight the beast again.Good luck.

Dawn
I think every survivor goes thru that fear of it coming back again. There is a possibility yes, but also there isnt. You fight for today and for tomorrow. Dont worry about what may happen in the future on reoccurence. Celebrate when you become free and dance with NED! Its an awesome feeling. Just dont let the idea of it might come back destroy your joy of celebrating. Honestly, nobody knows what will happen. Just enjoy today and the sunshine in your face. Keep up that fight.

laura

Scotch Freckles said:

NA NA I Say
Dawn,

Yes we all have that hiden beast tucked away in our memory banks. But remember as long as you continue to stomp on the memory and say "I don't have time for this." things will get better. I have been NED since 4/1/07 with a 20% chance of recurrance(wasn't that nice of the onc to let me know that). I stomp on that memeory every time it creeps back in. Get back on your focuse of healing, positive thoughts, and dancing in the rain. KAH

I stopped worrying about it when I was one year out.
Many women stop coming to the site once their treatments are done and their lives are back on track. That's why you don't hear from them. That's understandable. I plan on staying with the site to support others who were recently diagnosed and to give love and encouragement to those who have recurrences no matter what the future has in store for me. It is normal to worry at first (especially when your treatments are over and there's nothing more to do) but as the years go by I believe it will get easier. Could my bc return? Sure but giving up my healthy today to worry about a possible health crisis tomorrow doesn't make much sense.

Roseann

It definitely is not
It definitely is not ineveitable. I did have a recurrence but not for 22 years! And I am now doing well. I have 2 sisters and one has been nearly 20 yrs without a recurrence! The other one had a local recurrence (tiny bit of breast tissue that was missed) 5 yrs out. She has now been 5 more year completely clean!

But it takes time to not be anxious about a recurrence. With time, that will get better. Tests are always rough but you do get more and more "used" to them.

Hang in there and heal. I'm pulling for you!

sea60 said:

One day at a time
There are many who have it one time. Don't let fear rob you of today. Let today be today and tomorrow be tomorrow...stay positive, worry does nothing but add un-needed stress in your life.

Keeping you in prayer,
Sylvia

Fear is on my mind .. ALWAYS
somedays more often. As Sea60 and others have stated .. take 1 day at a timre, and don't let fear rob you of today or tomorrow.


Prayer helps quench the fear for me, but not always - as we live in a wonder where knowledge, research and information is easy accessible via the internet. Decide what is fact and what is fiction - and try to perserve your life and way of living.

Vicki Sam

Pinkpower said:

Dawn
We are currently survivors, getting thru our treatments and trying to move on with our lives, but deep, deep down, we all have our fears,at least I know I do. I guess in a way thats why most of us are here on this site. This is where we will get our "You can do it" and "We are here for you" and all other encouragements we get from each other. So like someone else mentioned, One day at a time. Dont forget to enjoy today cause you are worried about tomorrow.
Lupe

There's nothing else I can
There's nothing else I can add to all these great posts. I also have the fear, of course, but we go on and persivere
even if we have to fake it through a few rough spots.
Hugs and Love,
Wanda