Saddened, by this life changing diagnosis
Comments
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I am taking it second by second...VickiSam said:Sylvia .. Wise advise .. BC is overwhelming and
it along with the appointments - doctors, oncolgist - breast cancer specialist, then there is the decision of what to do with our breast once - chemo and/or radation have been completed .. the list and appointments and procedures goes on and on .. never ending -- or so it seems.
Keep 1 foot in front of the other, write down questions and concerns - and take 1 day at a time .. I've been there, and the good news is that it life does get better!
Strength and Courage for you
Vicki Sam
Vick,
I need strength and courage...Thank you for the kinds thoughts and words...0 -
Ok, first off, when you are here, you are NOT alonesohardbnme said:Never see color in the world...
Lynn
It is such an emotional whirlwind...I literally have to take it second by second...I feel good for a couple of hours, strong, positive, alive and then in a few hours...A thunderstorm emerges...
I feel your pain and know exactly how you feel truely. Its like looking back at me a year and a half ago. I didnt have much of any outside support and was raising my three kids 16,13 and 12 now, on my own. At first i thought ok, i have to be superwoman. I cant grieve, i have to stay strong. My kids dont need to see their mom go through a difficult time. Well, let me tell you, superwoman didnt last!! So, i was 36 and diagnosed with bc in April. I didnt get in to see the breast surgeon until May. Still took them another month to schedule my surgery. The whole waiting period totally sucks. I wanted to get it all taken care of then!! I didnt want to wait, why do i have to? I have to be a mom, i need to get this over with. Turns out that i could still be that mom and my kids are wonderful and helped me so much. When i had chemo and my hair started falling out, they helped me shave my head. I cried, they told me that i was still beautiful. Waiting for surgeries, tests, results ect... Its a nightmare. Its draining emotionally and physically. This is about not waiting for the storm to past, but learning how to dance in the rain. Its a very hard battle, yes, but in the end of the battle you have won. The blessing you get out of winning is amazing. You get a whole new life, because you feel blessed and see things differently. The long road will become shorter, i promise. Its hell to take that road trip, but you have to. Once you get one thing scheduled on your calendar, it will feel like you are at the dr every day. Please continue to come for support here. Gosh, my connection to you feels like you are feeling how i did. So alone, so scared, denial... You have us sisters. You will one day, and it takes a while, become a warrior and be dancing with NED!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you
Take care
Laura0 -
Oh forgot something (chemo brain again!!)lolad said:Ok, first off, when you are here, you are NOT alone
I feel your pain and know exactly how you feel truely. Its like looking back at me a year and a half ago. I didnt have much of any outside support and was raising my three kids 16,13 and 12 now, on my own. At first i thought ok, i have to be superwoman. I cant grieve, i have to stay strong. My kids dont need to see their mom go through a difficult time. Well, let me tell you, superwoman didnt last!! So, i was 36 and diagnosed with bc in April. I didnt get in to see the breast surgeon until May. Still took them another month to schedule my surgery. The whole waiting period totally sucks. I wanted to get it all taken care of then!! I didnt want to wait, why do i have to? I have to be a mom, i need to get this over with. Turns out that i could still be that mom and my kids are wonderful and helped me so much. When i had chemo and my hair started falling out, they helped me shave my head. I cried, they told me that i was still beautiful. Waiting for surgeries, tests, results ect... Its a nightmare. Its draining emotionally and physically. This is about not waiting for the storm to past, but learning how to dance in the rain. Its a very hard battle, yes, but in the end of the battle you have won. The blessing you get out of winning is amazing. You get a whole new life, because you feel blessed and see things differently. The long road will become shorter, i promise. Its hell to take that road trip, but you have to. Once you get one thing scheduled on your calendar, it will feel like you are at the dr every day. Please continue to come for support here. Gosh, my connection to you feels like you are feeling how i did. So alone, so scared, denial... You have us sisters. You will one day, and it takes a while, become a warrior and be dancing with NED!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you
Take care
Laura
To let you know, im still waiting on my reconstruction to happen. It is finally scheduled for August 12th, my zachs (son) birthday. I have had endured alot of things as far as surgeries go, but not all had to do with cancer. Something you need to know about me, it seems i have this issue that when i reply to a post, its a little long! You take care of yourself. Dance in the rain. Fight to become that warrior.
laura0 -
It is about dancing in the rainlolad said:Ok, first off, when you are here, you are NOT alone
I feel your pain and know exactly how you feel truely. Its like looking back at me a year and a half ago. I didnt have much of any outside support and was raising my three kids 16,13 and 12 now, on my own. At first i thought ok, i have to be superwoman. I cant grieve, i have to stay strong. My kids dont need to see their mom go through a difficult time. Well, let me tell you, superwoman didnt last!! So, i was 36 and diagnosed with bc in April. I didnt get in to see the breast surgeon until May. Still took them another month to schedule my surgery. The whole waiting period totally sucks. I wanted to get it all taken care of then!! I didnt want to wait, why do i have to? I have to be a mom, i need to get this over with. Turns out that i could still be that mom and my kids are wonderful and helped me so much. When i had chemo and my hair started falling out, they helped me shave my head. I cried, they told me that i was still beautiful. Waiting for surgeries, tests, results ect... Its a nightmare. Its draining emotionally and physically. This is about not waiting for the storm to past, but learning how to dance in the rain. Its a very hard battle, yes, but in the end of the battle you have won. The blessing you get out of winning is amazing. You get a whole new life, because you feel blessed and see things differently. The long road will become shorter, i promise. Its hell to take that road trip, but you have to. Once you get one thing scheduled on your calendar, it will feel like you are at the dr every day. Please continue to come for support here. Gosh, my connection to you feels like you are feeling how i did. So alone, so scared, denial... You have us sisters. You will one day, and it takes a while, become a warrior and be dancing with NED!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you
Take care
Laura
Laura,
Thank you for that heartfelt response...I needed that at this very second...God is Merciful...Thank you...I believe you...I believe I can learn to dance in the rain...I am at lost for words...Thank you...You just gave me a boost for the next couple of hours...lol.. I am inspired lol...
If and when the euphoria, I am feeling at this moment wears off...I will come back and read your post again...thank you again... I AM SMILING...0 -
I am fighting...lolad said:Oh forgot something (chemo brain again!!)
To let you know, im still waiting on my reconstruction to happen. It is finally scheduled for August 12th, my zachs (son) birthday. I have had endured alot of things as far as surgeries go, but not all had to do with cancer. Something you need to know about me, it seems i have this issue that when i reply to a post, its a little long! You take care of yourself. Dance in the rain. Fight to become that warrior.
laura
Laura,
What type of reconstruction...After chemo i have to decide on lump or mas...because my margins are not clear...I have 3 months to make that decision... I would like to know what your journey has been like thus far...Can we personal message on here...Can I read your profile...0 -
You dont realize that i feel so blessedsohardbnme said:It is about dancing in the rain
Laura,
Thank you for that heartfelt response...I needed that at this very second...God is Merciful...Thank you...I believe you...I believe I can learn to dance in the rain...I am at lost for words...Thank you...You just gave me a boost for the next couple of hours...lol.. I am inspired lol...
If and when the euphoria, I am feeling at this moment wears off...I will come back and read your post again...thank you again... I AM SMILING...
and fullfilled that i made you smile. My goal is to help others who are just joining their battle. Im doing a project now through a foundation called i have wings. It is called the secret angel project and i send cards to women that the foundation gets there names from connections with hospitals and women centers. I feel its my calling and it definately is healing for me too. You are more than welcome to visit my home page. Now, you asked about what surgery i chose. I did a double mastectomy with tissue expanders placed in at same time. Hey! I was going to get a nice boob job out of this ok? With the expanders you go every few weeks and they fill them with a saline solution. It doesnt hurt. You might have a little discomfort, but thats all. I had my mastectomy last June and havent had reconstruction yet because of other problems ive had. My surgery is finally supposed to be August 12th and I am so so happy. Im finally seeing that light. I will go to friend list and add you as my friend. Im so glad that i could help you. It makes me feel so blessed. If i didnt answer everything, ill be back to post more!! haha
Take care
Laura0 -
Laura,lolad said:You dont realize that i feel so blessed
and fullfilled that i made you smile. My goal is to help others who are just joining their battle. Im doing a project now through a foundation called i have wings. It is called the secret angel project and i send cards to women that the foundation gets there names from connections with hospitals and women centers. I feel its my calling and it definately is healing for me too. You are more than welcome to visit my home page. Now, you asked about what surgery i chose. I did a double mastectomy with tissue expanders placed in at same time. Hey! I was going to get a nice boob job out of this ok? With the expanders you go every few weeks and they fill them with a saline solution. It doesnt hurt. You might have a little discomfort, but thats all. I had my mastectomy last June and havent had reconstruction yet because of other problems ive had. My surgery is finally supposed to be August 12th and I am so so happy. Im finally seeing that light. I will go to friend list and add you as my friend. Im so glad that i could help you. It makes me feel so blessed. If i didnt answer everything, ill be back to post more!! haha
Take care
Laura
Are you getting silicone or a tram flap...What is expanders...0 -
So sorry to hear your news
Please hang in there and know you are not alone. I was Stage IIIA in 1987 (large tumor with 4 nodes) had mastectomy, chemo, radiation, 7 years tamoxifen. I am still here and it has now been 23 years. So take a deep breath and know that it can be done--one step at a time. And we are all here for you--you are not alone.0 -
Inspiring Cynthia!CypressCynthia said:So sorry to hear your news
Please hang in there and know you are not alone. I was Stage IIIA in 1987 (large tumor with 4 nodes) had mastectomy, chemo, radiation, 7 years tamoxifen. I am still here and it has now been 23 years. So take a deep breath and know that it can be done--one step at a time. And we are all here for you--you are not alone.
Congrats on your 23 years with NED!
As many people mentioned, we're here for you. I, like you, upon being diagnosed, would wake up and for the first couple of seconds, would think maybe this was just a horrible nighmare but then, it would dawn on me that it was real and would feel this overwhelming anguish and hopelessness. It takes you to pull on strength and resources...for me, the Bible scripture and friends and family. Don't be afraid to reach out. You'll find there are some amazing people out there.
Time goes on and you will get past this.
Keeping you in prayer,
Sylvia0 -
WEllsohardbnme said:Laura,
Are you getting silicone or a tram flap...What is expanders...
The way you are feeling right now, im hesitant in telling you. But, i will, just know it was my personal and rare experience. Expanders are devices they place in the breast usually during your mastectomy before the close you up. They have magnets on the top of them and a whole as well. Each couple of weeks you go back to the dr and they fill the expanders with saline to stretch your skin again and prepare it for reconstruction. I finished my fills at the end of November. I ended up with getting sick and had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. That was the first thing that pushed off my reconstruction surgery. That was in December. So, January i develope this scab in the middle of my left breast and asked my onc about it. She said it was nothing to be concerned. It sometimes happened. Shes no longer my onc. Two days later, the scab busted open and became infected and i had a hole the size of about a half dollar there and the expander was exposed. So, they had to remove the left expander because of that and again, surgery pushed off till June. I started having female problems with constant bleeding in march or april. My new onc did a pet scan and three masses showed. I had a total hysterectomy may 25th. Two tumors beneign, one on cervix early stages cancer. Another put back for my reconstruction. So, Tuesday i go get blood work done because my last one wasnt good. My liver enzymes were high, my red blood count low, my gfr marker for creatinine level was close to the renal failure number. Im telling myself, it was just done only two weeks after surgery and thats why it was out of wack. So, god willing, my reconstruction is Aug 12th. Im having gel implants, but they also now because of the infection have to take my dorsal muscle from my back and replace the tissue that was lost on my left breast. So, there you have it. Dont take my story and freak. I just had alot happen to me that dont happen to most when they are just fighting breast cancer. Smile again please!!!
take care
Laura0 -
You Will Get Through This!
I know how "draining" it is. Like everyone said, you have a lot to take in. BUT (and that's a BIG one!) you can get through this!
From reading what you said about your staging and pathology reports, it looks VERY encouraging. Though you don't like to have lymph nodes affected, it doesn't mean you can't beat the cancer! It's so great that it hasn't spread anywhere else!!
If you can have a friend or someone close go with you to your chemo appointment, that helps alot. Don't be afraid to ask someone for a little support and help.
And...it's very common for people to go on anti-depressants afte being diagnosed! It does help with just being able to think clearly and takes the edge off of being absolutely terrified. It will get better though. REALLY!! It just takes time to process.
You came to the right place for support!
I'll be praying for you!!:)
Blessings,
Sally0 -
in a lil painsal314 said:You Will Get Through This!
I know how "draining" it is. Like everyone said, you have a lot to take in. BUT (and that's a BIG one!) you can get through this!
From reading what you said about your staging and pathology reports, it looks VERY encouraging. Though you don't like to have lymph nodes affected, it doesn't mean you can't beat the cancer! It's so great that it hasn't spread anywhere else!!
If you can have a friend or someone close go with you to your chemo appointment, that helps alot. Don't be afraid to ask someone for a little support and help.
And...it's very common for people to go on anti-depressants afte being diagnosed! It does help with just being able to think clearly and takes the edge off of being absolutely terrified. It will get better though. REALLY!! It just takes time to process.
You came to the right place for support!
I'll be praying for you!!:)
Blessings,
Sally
port was inserted today...im stiff and sore...0 -
Glad you are done with thesohardbnme said:in a lil pain
port was inserted today...im stiff and sore...
Glad you are done with the port part, now ready for the next step. It will go fast from now on. Hang in there, and if they gave you meds for pain, go ahead and take them. You mentioned something about not having support cause you live alone, even though we are all here for you, I know its not the same as someone in person. Have you heard of a program thru the American Cancer Society called Reach To Recovery. I've heard other people who have used it that they will match a survivor in your area who's dx is same or similar to your same dx and has already past thru what you are currently going thru. These volunter women will contact you and help you every step of the way, just like we would but maybe the ACS can find someone that can be there in person too. Just a thought.
Hugs and prayers going your way.
Lupe0 -
just remember that yousohardbnme said:in a lil pain
port was inserted today...im stiff and sore...
just remember that you remain in our thoughts & prayers . . . hope things go as well as possible for you . . .
♥ Lynn ♥0 -
Zolodex Shot is annoyingMNLynn said:just remember that you
just remember that you remain in our thoughts & prayers . . . hope things go as well as possible for you . . .
♥ Lynn ♥
I am getting all kinds of side effect...TMI TMI TMI
Chemo: This is twelve days after (I cut my hair on top of my head 2 days before chemo, I cannot tell if that is shedding) In my private area, I see hair shedding...lots of it...My nails are discolored...especially my thumbs.
Zolodex Shot: I am bleeding profusely, large blood clots; on my 80 pad since Tuesday... hot flashes... (Maybe twice a day...) and I am fatigued...wake up in the middle of the night to the heaviest bleeding...
Now I have normally heavy periods, because of fibroids...60 pads in a seven-day period...My cycle went off on July 30, 2010...This bleeding is from the Zolodex shot given on August 4 2010...I thought I would be able to hang out before chemo on the 23rd... Guess not... When is it going to shut down my ovaries? I am tired of my body...
PLEASE SHARE EXPERIENCES WITH LUPRON AN OR ZOLODEX SHOTS WITH ME...I realize this Zoladex is going to help block estrogen from Cancer... and help with uterine fibroids but today is uuuggghhh....
I SPOKE WITH NURSE THIS IS NORMAL...I AM BLEEDING MORE THAN OTHERS WITH THE SHOT ARE BECAUSE FIBROIDS FEED OFF BLOOD...
BEFORE ALL THIS, I NEVER HAD CHICKEN POPS, MUMPS OR MEASLES...UUUGGGHHH...
Send me some positive thoughts please... good wishes... something...
I did not mean to offend anyone, or be vulgar... this post contain a lot of personal stuff...But I needed to get it out...and someone in this forum, may be able to relate...0 -
I dont get the zolodex shotssohardbnme said:Zolodex Shot is annoying
I am getting all kinds of side effect...TMI TMI TMI
Chemo: This is twelve days after (I cut my hair on top of my head 2 days before chemo, I cannot tell if that is shedding) In my private area, I see hair shedding...lots of it...My nails are discolored...especially my thumbs.
Zolodex Shot: I am bleeding profusely, large blood clots; on my 80 pad since Tuesday... hot flashes... (Maybe twice a day...) and I am fatigued...wake up in the middle of the night to the heaviest bleeding...
Now I have normally heavy periods, because of fibroids...60 pads in a seven-day period...My cycle went off on July 30, 2010...This bleeding is from the Zolodex shot given on August 4 2010...I thought I would be able to hang out before chemo on the 23rd... Guess not... When is it going to shut down my ovaries? I am tired of my body...
PLEASE SHARE EXPERIENCES WITH LUPRON AN OR ZOLODEX SHOTS WITH ME...I realize this Zoladex is going to help block estrogen from Cancer... and help with uterine fibroids but today is uuuggghhh....
I SPOKE WITH NURSE THIS IS NORMAL...I AM BLEEDING MORE THAN OTHERS WITH THE SHOT ARE BECAUSE FIBROIDS FEED OFF BLOOD...
BEFORE ALL THIS, I NEVER HAD CHICKEN POPS, MUMPS OR MEASLES...UUUGGGHHH...
Send me some positive thoughts please... good wishes... something...
I did not mean to offend anyone, or be vulgar... this post contain a lot of personal stuff...But I needed to get it out...and someone in this forum, may be able to relate...
I dont get the zolodex shots but just wanted to offer my sympathy, adds insult to injury bleeding like that. I lost hair down there first too, and it came back first there too. (where I dont care) you will prevail, ann get through, sometimes its a big UGH! but there are better days ahead, keep posting, the words here can uplift you . big Hugs!0 -
Hi! I just wanted to letsohardbnme said:Zolodex Shot is annoying
I am getting all kinds of side effect...TMI TMI TMI
Chemo: This is twelve days after (I cut my hair on top of my head 2 days before chemo, I cannot tell if that is shedding) In my private area, I see hair shedding...lots of it...My nails are discolored...especially my thumbs.
Zolodex Shot: I am bleeding profusely, large blood clots; on my 80 pad since Tuesday... hot flashes... (Maybe twice a day...) and I am fatigued...wake up in the middle of the night to the heaviest bleeding...
Now I have normally heavy periods, because of fibroids...60 pads in a seven-day period...My cycle went off on July 30, 2010...This bleeding is from the Zolodex shot given on August 4 2010...I thought I would be able to hang out before chemo on the 23rd... Guess not... When is it going to shut down my ovaries? I am tired of my body...
PLEASE SHARE EXPERIENCES WITH LUPRON AN OR ZOLODEX SHOTS WITH ME...I realize this Zoladex is going to help block estrogen from Cancer... and help with uterine fibroids but today is uuuggghhh....
I SPOKE WITH NURSE THIS IS NORMAL...I AM BLEEDING MORE THAN OTHERS WITH THE SHOT ARE BECAUSE FIBROIDS FEED OFF BLOOD...
BEFORE ALL THIS, I NEVER HAD CHICKEN POPS, MUMPS OR MEASLES...UUUGGGHHH...
Send me some positive thoughts please... good wishes... something...
I did not mean to offend anyone, or be vulgar... this post contain a lot of personal stuff...But I needed to get it out...and someone in this forum, may be able to relate...
Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I'm cheering you on, and praying for healing and peace for you! I can't offer much advice about bleeding, because the month I started chemo, my periods totally stopped, but I can imagine it must be very hard. Hang in there, and know you are in my thoughts!
Jan0 -
Hey sohardbnmesohardbnme said:Zolodex Shot is annoying
I am getting all kinds of side effect...TMI TMI TMI
Chemo: This is twelve days after (I cut my hair on top of my head 2 days before chemo, I cannot tell if that is shedding) In my private area, I see hair shedding...lots of it...My nails are discolored...especially my thumbs.
Zolodex Shot: I am bleeding profusely, large blood clots; on my 80 pad since Tuesday... hot flashes... (Maybe twice a day...) and I am fatigued...wake up in the middle of the night to the heaviest bleeding...
Now I have normally heavy periods, because of fibroids...60 pads in a seven-day period...My cycle went off on July 30, 2010...This bleeding is from the Zolodex shot given on August 4 2010...I thought I would be able to hang out before chemo on the 23rd... Guess not... When is it going to shut down my ovaries? I am tired of my body...
PLEASE SHARE EXPERIENCES WITH LUPRON AN OR ZOLODEX SHOTS WITH ME...I realize this Zoladex is going to help block estrogen from Cancer... and help with uterine fibroids but today is uuuggghhh....
I SPOKE WITH NURSE THIS IS NORMAL...I AM BLEEDING MORE THAN OTHERS WITH THE SHOT ARE BECAUSE FIBROIDS FEED OFF BLOOD...
BEFORE ALL THIS, I NEVER HAD CHICKEN POPS, MUMPS OR MEASLES...UUUGGGHHH...
Send me some positive thoughts please... good wishes... something...
I did not mean to offend anyone, or be vulgar... this post contain a lot of personal stuff...But I needed to get it out...and someone in this forum, may be able to relate...
I was wondering where you have been. Sorry to hear your having a rough time. Unfortunately, I can't really give any advise. I've never had a Zolodex shot. And this BC bullsh** scared my period right out of me. My last was in February, right after all this mess started. I know you spoke with the nurse, but maybe check with your doctor or your gyn doctor. That sucks that you have to deal with this along with your chemo.
Sending positive thoughts & prayers your way. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. Hugs, Jean0 -
lupronsohardbnme said:Zolodex Shot is annoying
I am getting all kinds of side effect...TMI TMI TMI
Chemo: This is twelve days after (I cut my hair on top of my head 2 days before chemo, I cannot tell if that is shedding) In my private area, I see hair shedding...lots of it...My nails are discolored...especially my thumbs.
Zolodex Shot: I am bleeding profusely, large blood clots; on my 80 pad since Tuesday... hot flashes... (Maybe twice a day...) and I am fatigued...wake up in the middle of the night to the heaviest bleeding...
Now I have normally heavy periods, because of fibroids...60 pads in a seven-day period...My cycle went off on July 30, 2010...This bleeding is from the Zolodex shot given on August 4 2010...I thought I would be able to hang out before chemo on the 23rd... Guess not... When is it going to shut down my ovaries? I am tired of my body...
PLEASE SHARE EXPERIENCES WITH LUPRON AN OR ZOLODEX SHOTS WITH ME...I realize this Zoladex is going to help block estrogen from Cancer... and help with uterine fibroids but today is uuuggghhh....
I SPOKE WITH NURSE THIS IS NORMAL...I AM BLEEDING MORE THAN OTHERS WITH THE SHOT ARE BECAUSE FIBROIDS FEED OFF BLOOD...
BEFORE ALL THIS, I NEVER HAD CHICKEN POPS, MUMPS OR MEASLES...UUUGGGHHH...
Send me some positive thoughts please... good wishes... something...
I did not mean to offend anyone, or be vulgar... this post contain a lot of personal stuff...But I needed to get it out...and someone in this forum, may be able to relate...
I looked up Lupron. Your tumor must be estrogen+ because the med is supposed to lower your estrogen levels to post-menopausal levels. So that means hot flashes, anxiety, and all the other neat things about menopause. You may be able to take Black Cohosh, Soy products for symptom relief, check with your doctor.
It is also used to treat endometriosis and uterine fibroids which are making you bleed so much. Eventually it should go away if the medicine works. Best of luck to you, L.0
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