Relatives-ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!

ketziah35
ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My mother who is undergoing chemo wants to have overnight visitors. i've told her this is a bad idea because the only spare bathroom we have is her dedicated bathroom and no one but her immediate family needs to be in her living quarters due to sanitary issues and he fact that my relatives are broke inconsiderate and loud.

Can someone tell me some reasons to tell her why she doesn't need overnight visitors so that i can con the con artist?

Thanks

KTZ

Comments

  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    #2
    Compromises
    I hear you loud and clear KTZ !! Our loved ones want visitors and this is important for them but at the same time we have to manage how much stress and extra work gets put on us while this "visiting" is going on.

    My solution has been to contact all visitors before they arrive to lay down some household rules and arrange some cooperation from them as to helping out with the duties. Relatives are expected to make meal plans, shop for food, cook and clean afterwards because there is no way I can handle any more responsibilities and I can't play hostess with everything else that goes on with treatment, doctor visits, etc.

    The relatives and friends who understand, agree, and help out while they are staying in our home are welcome to come any time they want. Anyone who feels they can't participate in the household duties is told to stay at a local hotel and eat their meals elsewhere or delay the visit for another time.

    We must lay down the rules and draw the line in the sand. The wellbeing of our care recipient depends on this !!

    Try talking to them ahead of time and see how that goes. Perhaps a compromise can be reached and everyone will be able to enjoy their visit and you may just get a helping hand while they are in the house.

    Best wishes.
  • ruthelizabeth
    ruthelizabeth Member Posts: 138
    #3
    AnnaLeigh said:

    Compromises
    I hear you loud and clear KTZ !! Our loved ones want visitors and this is important for them but at the same time we have to manage how much stress and extra work gets put on us while this "visiting" is going on.

    My solution has been to contact all visitors before they arrive to lay down some household rules and arrange some cooperation from them as to helping out with the duties. Relatives are expected to make meal plans, shop for food, cook and clean afterwards because there is no way I can handle any more responsibilities and I can't play hostess with everything else that goes on with treatment, doctor visits, etc.

    The relatives and friends who understand, agree, and help out while they are staying in our home are welcome to come any time they want. Anyone who feels they can't participate in the household duties is told to stay at a local hotel and eat their meals elsewhere or delay the visit for another time.

    We must lay down the rules and draw the line in the sand. The wellbeing of our care recipient depends on this !!

    Try talking to them ahead of time and see how that goes. Perhaps a compromise can be reached and everyone will be able to enjoy their visit and you may just get a helping hand while they are in the house.

    Best wishes.

    Try this, maybe
    In FL where unexpected guests are common in the winter time, the stock response to 'Hey, we're going to be down there next week" is "And where will you be staying?" Try it in a cheerful, welcoming voice and be prepared to suggest nearby hotels.

    If you get protests, then explain that they're very welcome and you'll be glad of their help with....... Be specific about things you need them to do. That may make a hotel sound better.
  • onhold
    onhold Member Posts: 23
    #4
    disinfectant wipes
    I agree with AnnaLeigh wholeheartedly!
    But I also keep disinfectant wipes in the bathroom...Anyone who uses the bathroom needs to wipe down doorknobs, handles, & toilet seats (including under the seat). Anything which is commonly touched gets wiped down after every use. That way when the counts are down I don't worry as much about getting an outside infection.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #5
    AnnaLeigh said:

    Compromises
    I hear you loud and clear KTZ !! Our loved ones want visitors and this is important for them but at the same time we have to manage how much stress and extra work gets put on us while this "visiting" is going on.

    My solution has been to contact all visitors before they arrive to lay down some household rules and arrange some cooperation from them as to helping out with the duties. Relatives are expected to make meal plans, shop for food, cook and clean afterwards because there is no way I can handle any more responsibilities and I can't play hostess with everything else that goes on with treatment, doctor visits, etc.

    The relatives and friends who understand, agree, and help out while they are staying in our home are welcome to come any time they want. Anyone who feels they can't participate in the household duties is told to stay at a local hotel and eat their meals elsewhere or delay the visit for another time.

    We must lay down the rules and draw the line in the sand. The wellbeing of our care recipient depends on this !!

    Try talking to them ahead of time and see how that goes. Perhaps a compromise can be reached and everyone will be able to enjoy their visit and you may just get a helping hand while they are in the house.

    Best wishes.

    Wish
    I wish we had relatives or friends that care enough to want to come by. We are pretty much alone. They don't even call!
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #6
    onhold said:

    disinfectant wipes
    I agree with AnnaLeigh wholeheartedly!
    But I also keep disinfectant wipes in the bathroom...Anyone who uses the bathroom needs to wipe down doorknobs, handles, & toilet seats (including under the seat). Anything which is commonly touched gets wiped down after every use. That way when the counts are down I don't worry as much about getting an outside infection.

    Thanks.

    Thanks.

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