I cry all the time

Chevy120
Chevy120 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi Sisters,
I was never one that cried a lot but now I cry all the time and I'm not sure why. I've completed Chemo and have 4 weeks of radiation left. It has been tough and continues to be a challenge some days are worst than others. My husband, sisters, and friends have been great but suddenly I don't want to talk to them about my cancer. I feel that they don't get me since they haven't experience this battle. What's wrong with me? I feel lost.

Comments

  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175
    #2
    Theres nothing wrong with
    Theres nothing wrong with you...this is pretty normal. I did this after i finished chemo also. I had the hole mood swing goin and it has gotten better, but yes it helps when you can talk to people who can relate to what your going through.

    By the way welcome Chevy120, just sorry you have to be here.
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #3
    Welcome, Sister
    I'm about where you are. I've completed chemo and have 16 rad sessions left. It is so normal to be overwhelmed and alone. But, you're not alone here--no way. I totally understand about not wanting to talk to people who haven't been where we are. I don't blame people for not "getting it" but it can be frustrating to hear, "Oh, you look so good and you're almost done!" Or, "you're so strong" or, my favorite, "you're my hero!" What they don't get is that no, we're never going to be done and our lives have changed forever. And, it's hard adjusting to the fact that our lives are totally different now--not quite as carefree as they may have been.

    There's nothing wrong with you--from what I've read here and experienced myself--this is all part of the process. Stay connected with these great girls here--you'll get a ton of support from those of us who definitely know what you're going through. Hang in there.

    Hugs, Renee
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #4
    I'm so sorry you feel sad,
    First of all there is nothing wrong with you.Have you felt this way since Chemo started? How many Chemo treatments did you have? What was your cocktail? Tell your Dr about your feelings maybe he/she can help. You could be suffering from depression. Keep talking to your family. Don't push them away. They love you and even if they haven't been through cancer themselves they are going through it with you. You need their support. What was your diagnoses? I was dx with Inflammatory breast cancer on May 4Th. I am in Chemo now Tues, is my second treatment of six. Then I have surgery ( mastectomy right side ) Then Radiation. I have my sister stay with me the weeks of Chemo, I don't feel well during that week ( I go every three weeks ). But the weeks in between I feel better then I did before Chemo started! It does get better. there are bad days but they don't last. This is a long hard fight but we will all get through it together. Best wishes to you Take care. You are in my prayers.
  • Chevy120
    Chevy120 Member Posts: 4
    #5
    missrenee said:

    Welcome, Sister
    I'm about where you are. I've completed chemo and have 16 rad sessions left. It is so normal to be overwhelmed and alone. But, you're not alone here--no way. I totally understand about not wanting to talk to people who haven't been where we are. I don't blame people for not "getting it" but it can be frustrating to hear, "Oh, you look so good and you're almost done!" Or, "you're so strong" or, my favorite, "you're my hero!" What they don't get is that no, we're never going to be done and our lives have changed forever. And, it's hard adjusting to the fact that our lives are totally different now--not quite as carefree as they may have been.

    There's nothing wrong with you--from what I've read here and experienced myself--this is all part of the process. Stay connected with these great girls here--you'll get a ton of support from those of us who definitely know what you're going through. Hang in there.

    Hugs, Renee

    Thank You!


    If you haven't guessed it by I'm crying...lol...this time it's because you've just put into words what I'm feeling at this very moment. I so greatful to have someone to talk to, and also sadden that we share this common bond of cancer. I must admit it's nice to just express myself honestly. Thank you for comforting me today!
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #6
    "they don't get me "
    I, too, have had wonderful support from my husband, kids & friends - but I agree that, especially after the initial dx and treatments, that they don't quite understand the lingering fears & concerns that stay with us - even if it seems like our lives may be getting past that stage. I had 2 surgeries in Feb, and finished rads in May . . . and now, all of a sudden, I'm going through a kind of depression - crying again - a lot sometimes. I've been assured by my "pink sisters" here that there is nothing wrong with me - so I'm going to pass that same message on to you. When I think about things, I realize that, maybe feeling like I can't (or don't want to) bring up all my fears to these same people who have been my support, may be, at least in part, the reason for my tears.

    So, I am glad for this site - everyone here really does understand that this is not something that just goes away once you're back to work or doing things that you did before bc.

    Sending hugs . . .

    ♥ Lynn ♥
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #7
    Welcome friend and your not alone
    Does something as traumatic as cancer warrant tears and depression? YES! It's hard and sad and frustrating. I'm almost positively sure each person who had to hear those word: "You have cancer" has at some point, struggled with the tears.

    Please know since we have all had to deal with this, we're here for you and we understand. I love to blog here because my family and friends have no clue what I've experienced...nor do I ever hope they would!!!

    I'm praying that God gives you a peace beyond any human understanding. Know you're not alone in dealing with all this. Jesus Christ has been there himslef, he understands our pain and he won't leave our side.

    Blessings and healing,
    Sylvia
  • QuiltingMama123
    QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
    #8
    sea60 said:

    Welcome friend and your not alone
    Does something as traumatic as cancer warrant tears and depression? YES! It's hard and sad and frustrating. I'm almost positively sure each person who had to hear those word: "You have cancer" has at some point, struggled with the tears.

    Please know since we have all had to deal with this, we're here for you and we understand. I love to blog here because my family and friends have no clue what I've experienced...nor do I ever hope they would!!!

    I'm praying that God gives you a peace beyond any human understanding. Know you're not alone in dealing with all this. Jesus Christ has been there himslef, he understands our pain and he won't leave our side.

    Blessings and healing,
    Sylvia

    To everything everyone else has said...
    AMEN!
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #9
    Renee's words hit close to home, I too was sooo tired of people telling me how good I look! I felt they were just saying that,cause they dont know what else to say, here I am, 20+ pounds extra, wearing a wig, plenty of make up to hide the dark circles under my eyes for lack of sleep, etc, etc. I too have an amazing support group of family and friends, but I no longer wanted to discuss what I was feeling with them. One it just makes everyone feel bad there is nothing they can do or say to make you feel better unless they have been thru it themselves. 2nd then i felt bad for makeing them feel bad. Vicious cycle. I finished my chemo combo (except for herceptin-will be done in Oct 2010)had just finished radiation and had started tamoxifen when I hit my lowest point. I just felt so tired and unhappy. Then i found this site, thank God! Everyone here has been so wonderful, and the best part, they get it! They understand what we are going thru, cause they been there themselves. So I dont feel bad expressing how I feel, my fears, my pains, or asking questions. It's a wonderful feeling!
  • sal314
    sal314 Member Posts: 599 Member
    #10
    I think you are TOTALLY
    I think you are TOTALLY normal! You've been through a lot. I didn't cry or freak out until after all my treatments were over. Suddenly I felt like I could take a breath and it hit me! I remember thinking "holy crap, what just happened to me?" That's when I started going to a support group. It helped so much to talk to women who have walked the journey and truly understood what I have gone through. I was able to really "sit" with my situation for the first time, look back, process and then move forward. Had I been a little smarter, I wish I would have sought out support sooner! But hindsight is 20/20 so they say! :)

    Don't worry. Let the tears flow. They will stop and you will feel so much better. Talking to women that have experienced what you have helps too! Actually, I would be more worried about you if you had no tears!! You will be fine! You are strong!!

    Blessings,

    Sally
  • tally
    tally Member Posts: 48
    #11
    I can relate
    I had my last chemo treatment last Thursday - 6 treatments of TAC. I start radiation in a few weeks. I totally understand as I'm having the same problem. I thought I was going crazy. This just started happening last Thursday.
  • Mariannemm
    Mariannemm Member Posts: 136
    #12
    Pinkpower said:

    Renee's words hit close to home, I too was sooo tired of people telling me how good I look! I felt they were just saying that,cause they dont know what else to say, here I am, 20+ pounds extra, wearing a wig, plenty of make up to hide the dark circles under my eyes for lack of sleep, etc, etc. I too have an amazing support group of family and friends, but I no longer wanted to discuss what I was feeling with them. One it just makes everyone feel bad there is nothing they can do or say to make you feel better unless they have been thru it themselves. 2nd then i felt bad for makeing them feel bad. Vicious cycle. I finished my chemo combo (except for herceptin-will be done in Oct 2010)had just finished radiation and had started tamoxifen when I hit my lowest point. I just felt so tired and unhappy. Then i found this site, thank God! Everyone here has been so wonderful, and the best part, they get it! They understand what we are going thru, cause they been there themselves. So I dont feel bad expressing how I feel, my fears, my pains, or asking questions. It's a wonderful feeling!

    This all hits home!
    I too am having the same issues now that chemo is done and onto rads. I don't look the same I look worse and people always say you look so good. The 20+ pds I have gained is probably the hardest to deal with. I am not tall and I was thin, now I have this gut that looks like I am PG! I was crying on the way home from rads this morning for no reason just started. Cried myself to sleep last night too. I hide it and just let it out, I can't control it. I started crying just talking to the nurse after my 1st rad treatment last Sunday. We are babysitting a kitten right now and that helps me laugh and smile. Which has been months since I have laughted this hard. Plus he likes to take naps with me! Hang tough pink ladies....Marianne
  • cvolk821
    cvolk821 Member Posts: 36
    #13
    Me Too!
    I cry constantly - even when I'm not sad. Things I would normally find moving are exaggerated to the point of bawling.

    I discussed it with my Onc as a possible side effect of Tamoxifen. He says Tam is only a wee small portion of it. We fight so hard to get back to whatever normal is for us, our friends and family are so happy the drama is over - but it isn't over just cuz we say it is. We are altered by the experience and it takes time... plenty of time... for our minds and emotions to wrap around it. The Dr. says it will diminish in time.

    So I just continue crying over coffee commercials, the pledge of allegiance and Christmas Carols along with the genuinely sad crys - the ones I've earned.

    Excuse me... I have to go get a tissue.

    Connie
  • sparkle1
    sparkle1 Member Posts: 242
    #14
    Hello my sistah.
    You are not
    Hello my sistah.

    You are not alone. I'm a newbie to the site and can already say I'm glad to be here. In two days I've received so much peace in just reading some of the post to know that I am not alone. With this wonderful group of women and God's love and guidance we willl make it. Stay strong and keep reading and writing.
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #15
    Please know that depression
    Please know that depression and cancer often go hand in hand. There are many online screening tests for depression. Here is a good article at Consumer Reports:
    http://www.consumerreports.org/health/resources/pdf/best-buy-drugs/Antidepressants_update.pdf

    I am on lexapro and it has helped me a lot with the tears and the anxiety, but only you know what you need and how bad things are. If your feelings persist, talk with your oncologist. Most are very well aware of how many of us need some help. Also, your oncologist will know which antidepressants are compatible with your treatment.

    Hope this helps!
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #16
    CypressCynthia said:

    Please know that depression
    Please know that depression and cancer often go hand in hand. There are many online screening tests for depression. Here is a good article at Consumer Reports:
    http://www.consumerreports.org/health/resources/pdf/best-buy-drugs/Antidepressants_update.pdf

    I am on lexapro and it has helped me a lot with the tears and the anxiety, but only you know what you need and how bad things are. If your feelings persist, talk with your oncologist. Most are very well aware of how many of us need some help. Also, your oncologist will know which antidepressants are compatible with your treatment.

    Hope this helps!

    We all have stood in your shoes, at one time or another
    during our 'journey' with breast cancer. Axniety, fear its now part of our daily life .. family and friends are great a help to us fight bc. It may be a good idea, as recommended above to speak with your Onc and maybe he'll suggest a anti-depressant. I, myself went that route. I needed something .. No shame asking for help or needing a pill to regulate our emotions that change from minute to minute.

    Good Luck, and please be good to yourself -- We are here for you!


    Vicki Sam
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #17
    i cry too, but mostly at the cancer care center
    i used to cry at the hospital where i had my first course of chemo. used to cry only in the consultation rooms, but it got to the point where i was crying in the lab and then even when i walked through the doors of the hospital. i thought it was because i got so much bad news there.

    went for a second opinion due to my doctors not being in agreement with my course of treatment. did not cry when i walked into the hospital, was fine until i actually saw the surgeon. it seems that at every appointment (except for the neulasta shots) i cry, but i only cry for a couple of minutes and then i pull myself together.

    this is not to say i don't sometimes cry at home or at work or while driving, but it's always just for a few moments and then it's over.

    i know my friends and family do not understand what i am going through, i try not to burden them, i am probably being too strong and they think it's not a big deal. but oh well, we all deal with this as best as we can.

    good luck to you, know that we care about you and are always here for you!
  • Cher123
    Cher123 Member Posts: 8
    #18
    heidijez said:

    i cry too, but mostly at the cancer care center
    i used to cry at the hospital where i had my first course of chemo. used to cry only in the consultation rooms, but it got to the point where i was crying in the lab and then even when i walked through the doors of the hospital. i thought it was because i got so much bad news there.

    went for a second opinion due to my doctors not being in agreement with my course of treatment. did not cry when i walked into the hospital, was fine until i actually saw the surgeon. it seems that at every appointment (except for the neulasta shots) i cry, but i only cry for a couple of minutes and then i pull myself together.

    this is not to say i don't sometimes cry at home or at work or while driving, but it's always just for a few moments and then it's over.

    i know my friends and family do not understand what i am going through, i try not to burden them, i am probably being too strong and they think it's not a big deal. but oh well, we all deal with this as best as we can.

    good luck to you, know that we care about you and are always here for you!

    I,too,cry almost everyday.
    I,too,cry almost everyday. It has been over a year. It is getting better. I truly feel it is along the lines of post traumatic stress disorder. Things will pop into my head at the oddest moments. I also question if it might be the Tamoxifen.

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