Mom wants overnight guests-ARGGGGGGGGGGGGH!-I AM FRUSTRATED

Conditions...

My personal opinion?

Maybe Mom would like to see these people again; maybe she
enjoys things that you might not.

You're concerned about mom's health matters, and rightfully so,
but no caretaker should deny a patient's desires to have specific
visitors. You -can- do whatever is needed to keep mom comfortable
to her own desires, but as a caretaker, -your- desires will have to
take second place.

This is why having visiting nurses to provide aftercare is a good idea.

You're entitled to a life without aggravation, so you have to make
some choices.

If things were terrible, I would leave. Mom would have to care for
herself, or her visitors would have to do the job... or she would
have to ask for outside help.

That might sound cruel, but life is life, and a hostile environment
isn't good for you, or the patient.

I would draw that line and make it known, that -if- things get
to be too much for you to handle, you will have to leave for
the good of all concerned.

Sometimes what's best, isn't what sounds the most kindest.

Good luck.

John

I am guessing....
These are not your favourite people at the best of times. Something about them must appeal to your mother or she wouldn't want to see them. I know I have become pickier about who I spend time with since I got cancer. If it is just one night, maybe you can make it through but set some guidelines. As for sharing a bathroom, I would say if your mom is okay with it I would try to be ok with it too; afterall, we do share bathrooms when we are out; even if it is just at the treatment centre. If they are staying longer, you may have to set boundaries with your mother - for example, "I can't stay here more than one night with Uncle Ned + Aunt Sue". This is of course, assuming you are living with your Mom; if not, just be around less while the relatives are there. Company can be good for us, as long as we don't get too tired out. If you can use these relatives to give you a break, you are making the best out of the situation. I would be honest with your Mom about your concerns, but first sort them out + make sure they are "real" + focus on the most important ones. Good luck!!!!

Oh, dear.
I'm sorry you have all this on you. Perhaps, though, your mom really does want to see the family.

Is there another bathroom you can insist they use, so at least the bathroom for your mom will be kept very sanitary?

*hugs*
Gail

Fight for my love said:

The visiting nurse told us
The visiting nurse told us many many times that if anybody wants to visit,please say no because of the high risks of having infection during chemo.Remind your mom that if she really wants to see relatives,they can come just for a short visit,not a long stay.Don't put herself on high risks.After she finishes the treatments,she can still see relatives.

BINGO
That's sound advice too.
Unload....

PhillieG said:

BINGO
That's sound advice too.
Unload....

I agree....
NO overnight in the house...and stock up on hand sanitizer.

Your mom may be in denial about wanting to know about this disease, but my onc put it really well....

"Someone sneezes, it's just a sneeze to them. To you, it's pneumonia!"

"Mom, you of course can do anything you want. But, as your primary caregiver, so can I. If you insist endangering your life with this (and this is NOT an overstatement...pneumonia kills cancer patients many times...), I can no longer stand by and watch". Put nicely, "It's my way, or the highway". A paid caregiver (nurse) would limit the visit to an hour, and, strangely, these people are listened to much more than loved ones are!!! Sigh....

Hugs, Kathi