This is real...i have cancer, it is sinking in uuuggghhh

sohardbnme
sohardbnme Member Posts: 129
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am scared to death. I was just scheduled to start chemotherapy on August 2, 2010My Medical Oncologist is waiting on BCRA, PET scan results. He said he would tell me the treatment plans (what drugs going are going to be used and how many rounds) at 8:45 am and then we will begin chemo that morning. I am scared this is too real.
Pet Scan is scheduled for tomorrow, Lupron injection Thursday (that injection has the capabilities to shut down my ovaries, and possibly send me into chemical menopause, I am 37) and Port will be inserted on the July 26…Wow…I HAVE CANCER? Wow…

Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #2
    You won't always HAVE cancer, thankfully!
    The ONLY good thing, (aside from meeting all of us) is that after all is said and done, you will get to say you HAD cancer~ and that is a very, very good thing!

    Hold on to us for all you need; we are never far away and we won't let you fall.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • sohardbnme
    sohardbnme Member Posts: 129
    #3
    chenheart said:

    You won't always HAVE cancer, thankfully!
    The ONLY good thing, (aside from meeting all of us) is that after all is said and done, you will get to say you HAD cancer~ and that is a very, very good thing!

    Hold on to us for all you need; we are never far away and we won't let you fall.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Excellent Spin
    Chen,
    I needed to hear that at this very moment...
    Thank You...
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #4
    sohardbnme said:

    Excellent Spin
    Chen,
    I needed to hear that at this very moment...
    Thank You...

    You are more than
    You are more than welcome...this is a safe place to land during a very scary time. But we are a large army of brave women who have lives and careers and children and "issues", and
    dammital~ BC thrown in the mix, too! There is Life to be lived not just after cancer, but during it too. You will find your bearings, and the other really nice thing? On those late nites/early mornings when you just can't settle down emotionally, this place is always available. Sitting quietly with a box of kleenex at 2AM and connecting with the Kindred Spirits is powerful, indeed. Come in as often as you need.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #5
    chenheart said:

    You are more than
    You are more than welcome...this is a safe place to land during a very scary time. But we are a large army of brave women who have lives and careers and children and "issues", and
    dammital~ BC thrown in the mix, too! There is Life to be lived not just after cancer, but during it too. You will find your bearings, and the other really nice thing? On those late nites/early mornings when you just can't settle down emotionally, this place is always available. Sitting quietly with a box of kleenex at 2AM and connecting with the Kindred Spirits is powerful, indeed. Come in as often as you need.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    You are like me
    I remember when i was first told and i dont know if it was denial or just didnt sink in. I walked around for days and it kept going through my mind, i just refused or didnt want to accept it. When the visits, surgery and chemo all started to get scheduled i freaked out. Kind of like an emotional break down. Just know that all the steps you are taking now are helping you to become free from bc. I know that its all hard to absorb and believe, just take one step and moment at a time and fight through everything you have to. You are a warrior about to enter the war. Take it easy on yourself and keep coming back and post how everything is going. Ill pray for you.

    Take care
    Laura
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #6
    Whoo
    Like you I still walk around going "I had/have cancer." I finished all treatment but herceptin. Still seems a little sereal to me. I do state "had" in most of my posts. Been there, done that is another. It will be a little easier once you get going. I remeber my first "hit" of chemo. I felt like my head would explode. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. Now I waltz in like I own the place and they have my pillow and blankey all ready. The benadryl still makes me pass out.
    Like Chen and everyone says, We're all here for you and the others that are starting your adventure. Best to you and keep on talking and keeping us updated. Positive energy to you. Katz
    P.S. I have 2 more herceptins (one this week) then I'm free. I have my port and plan on keeping it for at least 5 yrs. I love my port : )
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #7
    Like everyone else has said . . .
    . . . we are all here for you - and we understand what you're feeling.

    Wish I could reach across the 'net and give you a big hug right now . . . consider yourself hugged!

    Last Feb & March, I was going through a lot of the same emotions that you are now . . . very unreal. You will get through this, and always remember that we are there with you. Keep posting - you will get the support you need from this wonderful group!

    Sending many prayers your way . . .

    ♥ Lynn ♥
  • positivethoughts
    positivethoughts Member Posts: 7
    #8
    Hang in there
    My husband and I leaked(tears) for a week and a half, before I was able to get a handle on this. It was a very tough time. I think the first emotions are the worst. The tests are for the most part not painful. I hope you get good results and can move on to being cancer free.
    (((((HUGS))))
  • sal314
    sal314 Member Posts: 599 Member
    #9
    Like everyone said...you CAN
    Like everyone said...you CAN and WILL get through this. It might be scary, but you are not alone! Do you have a family member or close friend that can go with you to your chemo treatment? That really helps ease the anxiety. And the oncology nurses are awesome! They are very positive, upbeat and will help you feel as comfortable and cared for as possible!

    Wishing you all the best! It will be ok!:)

    Sally
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #10
    Diddo Sally
    just like everyone else has said, but I'm sure you will not get tired of hearing, we truly believe you will be fine. I know everything seems to be going too fast, but at the end, this is good. The faster you will be done and say "I had cancer"!. Hang in there.
    Lupe
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #11
    I'm having
    I'm having those same emotions. It really does take a while to sink in. My one fear is that will I ever be able to say "I had cancer" rather than "I have cancer"):
    Char
  • lizziejane
    lizziejane Member Posts: 69
    #12
    BE THANKFUL YOU ARE HAVING THE PORT PUT IN, THEY ARE A BLESSING. I WAS PETRIFIED BEFORE MY FIRST CHEMO, BUT THEY WENT MUCH BETTER THAN I EVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD, THE ONCOLOGY NURSES ARE VERY KIND AND CARING AND TRY TO MAKE THINGS AS EASY FOR YOU AS THEY CAN....I HAVE 4 MORE HERCEPTINS TO GO, WILL BE DONE IN OCTOBER. ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ON THIS SITE AND SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE WILL HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT AND KNOW HOW TO ANSWER YOU...GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK....
  • alexlib_mom
    alexlib_mom Member Posts: 46
    #13
    chemical menopause
    For what it's worth, I'm 41 and had my last chemo 2 months ago. My period just came back. I had no idea whether it would or not, but perhaps being young (ish) helps with that. I'm not planning to have any more kids (mine are 13 and 10), but it was interesting thinking that at least I could.

    I hope that if you don't want to be in menopause that this doesn't shut down your ovaries.

    It is scary to be in the middle of this. For me it helps to think that I'm doing everything that I can to be able to say "I had cancer".

    Hugs,

    Stephanie
  • sohardbnme
    sohardbnme Member Posts: 129
    #14
    EXCELLENT RESULTS
    BCRA reults...negative...

    Pet Scan...did not spread past lymth nodes...

    Heart test and port insertion NEXT WEEK...

    THEN CHEMOTHERAPY AUGUST 2ND...IM READY...TO GET IT OVER WITH...
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #15
    sohardbnme said:

    EXCELLENT RESULTS
    BCRA reults...negative...

    Pet Scan...did not spread past lymth nodes...

    Heart test and port insertion NEXT WEEK...

    THEN CHEMOTHERAPY AUGUST 2ND...IM READY...TO GET IT OVER WITH...

    Thats awesome
    Just means that you have one more thing off your mind that you dont have to worry about. Good luck with the chemo. Keep us posted

    laura
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #16
    sohardbnme said:

    EXCELLENT RESULTS
    BCRA reults...negative...

    Pet Scan...did not spread past lymth nodes...

    Heart test and port insertion NEXT WEEK...

    THEN CHEMOTHERAPY AUGUST 2ND...IM READY...TO GET IT OVER WITH...

    So glad . . .
    . . . to hear that you are getting some "good" news in all of this . . . I will continue to keep you in my thoughts & prayers . . .

    Sending hugs . . .

    ♥ Lynn ♥

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