Hell Week

david54
david54 Member Posts: 164 Member
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
It was a hellish week. My wife (Stage 4 colon cancer) had a paracentesis with almost 9 liters of fluid from her tiny little body. She developed terrible abdominal cramps after the procedure and I had to carry her from the car to the couch.

The next day we traveled 550 miles to San Clemente to see her relatives that she really wanted to visit, an Aunt who raised her when she was a child. They had an emotional visit; I could see the surprise on her families face at how much she has changed physically. She slept in the motel room all day and tossed and turned at night. She refuses any pain meds, not even a Motrin. When I drove she slept in the back seat of the car and sipped on ensure and perhaps some tea. I found quickly it is harder being a caregiver traveling than at home.

She loves a town called Solvang, a Danish community in Southern California but all she could do was stay in bed, she never even left the motel and I couldn’t stand walking through that town alone because it brought back memories of when she was healthy and would act like a hyperactive child because she would be so excited about visiting each shop.

12 days later I am back at work, to get some rest!

Just “Venting”

PS Her abdmomen is distended again.

This SUCKS!!!

Thanks

David

Comments

  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #2
    My mother was recently dxn
    My mother was recently dxn with Iiic colon cancer. I went home and spent 3 weeks cleaning the house so that it was sanitary enough for a new chemo patient. I didn't eat and lost weight, but the fatigue passed and the memories of spending time with my mom are dear to me. Just think and this too shall pass. Feel free to pm me.

    Ktz
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    #3
    Devotion
    Hi David,

    The devotion you show to your wife is so admirable and commendable. Especially in the face of the agony you go through just trying to scrape together a few enjoyable moments for her.

    I also hear the loneliness in your words, knowing that we, as caregivers, must deal with the changes our loved ones have gone through. Oh yes, they are still here with us but they are a distant version of their former selves. They are not able to interact or give affection like they once could and we miss the hugs and holding hands. We miss the sharing, the conversations, and the way they used to ask us about our day.

    We have also changed during this process. Our priorities and view of life have been forever altered and we now have a new, truer, more vivid definition of devotion and love. This is their gift to us. No matter how much we may feel we have lost, we have gained so much more just by being beside them and loving them through it all.

    Wishing you peaceful days ahead.
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #4
    AnnaLeigh said:

    Devotion
    Hi David,

    The devotion you show to your wife is so admirable and commendable. Especially in the face of the agony you go through just trying to scrape together a few enjoyable moments for her.

    I also hear the loneliness in your words, knowing that we, as caregivers, must deal with the changes our loved ones have gone through. Oh yes, they are still here with us but they are a distant version of their former selves. They are not able to interact or give affection like they once could and we miss the hugs and holding hands. We miss the sharing, the conversations, and the way they used to ask us about our day.

    We have also changed during this process. Our priorities and view of life have been forever altered and we now have a new, truer, more vivid definition of devotion and love. This is their gift to us. No matter how much we may feel we have lost, we have gained so much more just by being beside them and loving them through it all.

    Wishing you peaceful days ahead.

    David
    You are one great guy. Reading this makes me believe there are good guys out there, and right now in my life I need to believe that there are good men, not all of them are a-holes.

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