reconstruction surgery next week

AngelBaby
AngelBaby Member Posts: 47
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ok...I've gone through the mastectomy, chemo (which I was allergic to) and expander surgery...so why does this surgery scare me? My surgery is scheduled for the 21st (next Wednesday)and I'm on pins and needles. I don't know what to expect, how to feel or anything. Even typing this I'm tearing up and I don't understand why. Can anyone help me understand these emotions?

Comments

  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #2
    new is scary
    I have found each new step along the cancer survivor road to be full of its own fears and worries, but reconstruction was different from the rest for me. For me reconstruction was sort of symbolic of the end of treatment and the beginning of living as a survivor, not a patient. It will also determine what you are going to look like hereafter. For myself, breasts are integral to being female. They are the most obvious distiguishing feature. How many times have you seen a person from behind and thought they were masculine till you saw the front of the body? I spent more time researching and thinking about reconstruction issues than any other aspect of my treatment. Maybe you share some of the same deep-seated feelings, and maybe that is why this surgery is more scary than the others have been. In a way the outcome if THIS one matters more.

    That's me anyway, it may be a bunch of bunk for you, and that's OK. We are all individuals and I know there are may women who do not share my feelings at all. To each her own!

    I hope this was somewhat helpful, seof
  • AngelBaby
    AngelBaby Member Posts: 47
    #3
    seof said:

    new is scary
    I have found each new step along the cancer survivor road to be full of its own fears and worries, but reconstruction was different from the rest for me. For me reconstruction was sort of symbolic of the end of treatment and the beginning of living as a survivor, not a patient. It will also determine what you are going to look like hereafter. For myself, breasts are integral to being female. They are the most obvious distiguishing feature. How many times have you seen a person from behind and thought they were masculine till you saw the front of the body? I spent more time researching and thinking about reconstruction issues than any other aspect of my treatment. Maybe you share some of the same deep-seated feelings, and maybe that is why this surgery is more scary than the others have been. In a way the outcome if THIS one matters more.

    That's me anyway, it may be a bunch of bunk for you, and that's OK. We are all individuals and I know there are may women who do not share my feelings at all. To each her own!

    I hope this was somewhat helpful, seof

    Thanks
    I understand what you are saying. I thought maybe I was over analyzing. I appreciate your thoughts. And believe me it's not a bunch of bunk (lol)
  • m-star
    m-star Member Posts: 441
    #4
    AngelBaby said:

    Thanks
    I understand what you are saying. I thought maybe I was over analyzing. I appreciate your thoughts. And believe me it's not a bunch of bunk (lol)

    i agree with seof.
    This is
    i agree with seof.

    This is marking then end of a journey and change can be frightening. Especially when you may not be seeing doctors regularly any more etc. Its nreve wracking.

    Its a big milestone though so take it all in! =)
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #5
    m-star said:

    i agree with seof.
    This is
    i agree with seof.

    This is marking then end of a journey and change can be frightening. Especially when you may not be seeing doctors regularly any more etc. Its nreve wracking.

    Its a big milestone though so take it all in! =)

    angel .. I too will be having my expanders exchanged on
    7/21/10 at St. Joseph's here in Orange County, California. I am afraid always when told I am going under.. it's just scary not being able to have full control of any situation, or at least that is what I tell myself. However, I am at ease just knowing that Dr.Turpin is a excellent Plastic surgeon - who does unbelieveable work with us 'breast cancer' women.

    So I leave everything to God, and the surgery to Dr. Turpin. Otherwise, I would be driving myself insane.


    Best of Luck ..


    Vicki Sam
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
    #6
    hi there
    Hi AngelBaby,

    I'm on the tail end of reconstruction and I have almost been more emotional during the reconstruction than I was than the mastectomy for some reason. I have no idea why.

    All I can tell you is hang in there.

    I'm now recovering from nipple reconstruction (which is taking longer than I thought. But what's new everything has!) And I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    But I know where you're coming from...I'm still a wreck!! :)

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom
    p.s. I have some photos and stories about my reconstruction on my website. you can find it under the member resource library on this site. just look for my photo. :) xxoo

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