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Jaylo969 · July 2010

Hello semis; and hope you all are doing well.

As some of you know I have been out to my parent's home taking care of my invalid Dad and newly cancer dx'd Mom. Trying to take care of their well being and their home.Mom, who is 81 yrs old, had her 2nd biopsy yesterday and it is as expected..Stage 4 lung cancer mets to throat.It has been over a month since the 1st doc appointment and hopefully they will refer her to an onc soon.We are told it is not curable, maybe not even treatable.

So, after one month out of chemo myself here I am finding out that I am stronger than I thought. I had only a little strength and I asked within myself for that strenth to be increased...and it has been. Now, I am having to monitor the family weasels who want a foot in the door to their belongings and monitoring the little old ladies who want to come "sit" with Mom and end up staying 5 hours.I * think* this is a small town tradition but it is crazy. My Mom is very sick and needs rest plus she can't really talk to these little ladies because her voice is gone due to a tumor.I am up early because I had a nightmare about the little old lady that chastised me yesterday for trying to keep a bunch of them from *visiting*.

Anyway, wanted to check in and say hello to you all. I miss having the time to encourage and support my online friends.I go back to my onc Tuesday and I am a little scared. I have lost 10 lbs in a little over 2 weeks. I'm sure it is the stress and work of taking care of 2 sick parents ...don't you think? I actually needed to lose a couple lbs but not like this.

Take care semi family. I think of you all daily but have no computer access in 'Mayberry'.
I know there are a lot of new folks on the board and I hope I'll soon be able to meet you and help give the support you need. Cancer sucks!

Fondly,
-Pat

AnneCan · July 2010

Pat, I am so sorry. I hope
Pat, I am so sorry. I hope the onc will be able to help your Mom. You sure have your hands full, + my thoughts are with you.

Kerry S · July 2010

still look hot
Pat,
Hang in there!!! Remember, you younger gals still look hot to us old guys.

Kerry

abmb · July 2010

thoughts & Prayers
Thoughts and Prayers coming your way. You are a strong person, it takes a lot to take care of sick parents, especially since you probably don't feel 100% yourself. Remember you need to care for yourself, also. Maybe when the little old ladies want to visit you could do a little something for your self. Take care and God Bless. Margaret

karguy · July 2010

Good luck
Good luck with the little old ladies,you have your hands full,but don't forget yourself.Since the ladies want to visit,ask them if they would like to help by helping with the cleaning,cooking,etc.Good luck.

tootsie1 · July 2010

Hi
I'm glad you were able to update us. Hang in there. You have so much to deal with right now. Perhaps you could use those little old ladies. They could bring food or help with household things. Just tell them you'll need to let them know when the visit needs to be over.

*hugs*
Gail

msccolon · July 2010

small town
I live in a small town, and certainly, I agree with a few of the others; let the ladies come and visit, but get them doing some of the work of the household. They'd love to be asked to help out with laundry, dishes, vacuuming, you name it! If they are offended, well that will resolve the long visit issues, but from my friends I know that's what they're looking to do. You can also take the time they'll be visiting with mom to do something for yourself, as someone else also said. Go to a park and relax, get an ice cream, do some shopping. Remember to take care of you as you take care of your parents.
mary

Jaylo969 · July 2010

msccolon said:
small town
I live in a small town, and certainly, I agree with a few of the others; let the ladies come and visit, but get them doing some of the work of the household. They'd love to be asked to help out with laundry, dishes, vacuuming, you name it! If they are offended, well that will resolve the long visit issues, but from my friends I know that's what they're looking to do. You can also take the time they'll be visiting with mom to do something for yourself, as someone else also said. Go to a park and relax, get an ice cream, do some shopping. Remember to take care of you as you take care of your parents.
mary

Thanks to you all I now have
Thanks to you all I now have a new perspective on how to deal with the sweet little old ladies. I'm gonna give your suggestions a try ( wonder if they cut grass?...just kidding ).

I grew up out there but fled at age 18.I need to get back into the groove of small town customs and traditions. One positive thing...we get a pie or a pound cake every day. I have 5 frozen pound cakes as of today.Cool, huh?

I will try to do as you suggest and take time for myself. I go back to Onc on Tuesday and to tell you the truth I'm scared.I think we will be setting up for my scan at that time and I just have this *feeling*...Probably watching my Mom go downhill so rapidly has me paranoid...don't you think?

Have a good weekend folks.

-Pat

Aud · July 2010

Pat
First of all, kudos to you for all you are doing for your parents. Some may say it's our duty but nevertheless...I think it's wonderful.

You know, whenever I'm stressed, I lose a lot of weight rather quickly too.

and yes, cancer sucks.
I'll say a prayer for you right now for continued strength. Holding you in the Light for strength, joy, and peace.
~Audrey

Crow71 · July 2010

Jaylo969 said:
Thanks to you all I now have
Thanks to you all I now have a new perspective on how to deal with the sweet little old ladies. I'm gonna give your suggestions a try ( wonder if they cut grass?...just kidding ).

I grew up out there but fled at age 18.I need to get back into the groove of small town customs and traditions. One positive thing...we get a pie or a pound cake every day. I have 5 frozen pound cakes as of today.Cool, huh?

I will try to do as you suggest and take time for myself. I go back to Onc on Tuesday and to tell you the truth I'm scared.I think we will be setting up for my scan at that time and I just have this *feeling*...Probably watching my Mom go downhill so rapidly has me paranoid...don't you think?

Have a good weekend folks.

-Pat

Hey Pat,
Yes, I'm sure that
Hey Pat,
Yes, I'm sure that watching your mom go downhill is making you paranoid. Try to stay positive.

Sitting with the sick is very ancient Southern. Very "Faulkner." Even more so when you're sitting with the dying. They may be glad to help with house work, but don't be surprised if they balk. They are there to sit, pray, talk, ponder etc. I'm not sure how I know this. I think your post has brought up a memory of my grandmother telling me about her mother's death in rural eastern NC. I think it's great if you can tolerate these old ladies. They're probably terrified themselves.

On the other hand - what a pain in the a$$. Kick 'em out when you've had enough.

Take care. Many Sparks.
Roger

Shayenne · July 2010

Aud said:
Pat
First of all, kudos to you for all you are doing for your parents. Some may say it's our duty but nevertheless...I think it's wonderful.

You know, whenever I'm stressed, I lose a lot of weight rather quickly too.

and yes, cancer sucks.
I'll say a prayer for you right now for continued strength. Holding you in the Light for strength, joy, and peace.
~Audrey

Hi Pat...
So sorry to hear this about your mom, and you also having cancer as well, trying to take care of your parents, when sometimes you need to be cared for as well. Just remember to get rest as well, your body needs it too.

Those are some good ideas about letting those little old ladies help with the cooking and cleaning, you think when they see you doing it, they would at least offer to pitch in or something. I know it's hard on your mom feeling like she can't take care of your dad either, how sad, I'm glad you're there though for them.

You'll all be in my thoughts, and positive energies floating your way!

Hugsss!
~Donna

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