Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?

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Comments

  • SueRelays
    SueRelays Member Posts: 485
    #42
    Glenna M said:

    I know better...
    I know better than to get involved in this discussion but I am going to anyways ;-)

    Cancerite says she has been in mourning since June of 2008. Two years of mourning??? Unless you enjoy being sad,angry,bitter or depressed about something that happened to you 2 years ago I would like to suggest counseling. I have had several family members die from cancer and I mourned them, but not for 2 years and I loved them dearly.

    As you said Phil, she has not posted anything in her profile which makes me wonder...hmmmmm why she came to this website in the first place. If she was looking for help, advice or encouragement it is understandable as this is an excellent site full of many helpful people. But she hasn't, so I wonder about her reasons for posting at all. Granted, anyone can post but we get enough angry, depressing posts (understandably) from those who are still in treatment or have been given a terminal diagnosis.

    I have not been cured, I am in remission (from two seperate types of cancer)and the doctors have told me that this is as good as it gets but I am not bitter or angry. I also loved my precancer life but I have learned to live my "new" life and enjoy it. I'm not bitter or sad because those emotions would take away from the quality of what time I have left. I prefer to be happy and live my life to the fullest everyday.

    I hope this post doesn't "open a can of worms" and I do not want to hurt anyones feelings but I just had to say how I feel and what I think. Sometimes I just don't know enough to keep my mouth shut ;-)

    My best to everyone,
    Glenna

    I had to CHIME in when I
    I had to CHIME in when I knew I should just hold back as well to Cancerite....who I hink should change her/his name to cancerwrong.....but anyway......The postings on the anal board were less than uplifing :)....but what botheres me most is to see people who are tyring to help and offer solutions get blasted!

    I have no idea why someone would post something on these sites that is less than truthful, but I seriously have a hard time believing you are as miserable as you are, and that after 2 years, you decide to log in here and share it. Like I said before, this is an open forum, and we all have a right to our own feelings and the ability to express them. However, I'm sure, if you read any posts prior to posting,you would understand that we come hear for support, information, laughter, some tears, friendships, and most of all hope. I'm sure you can see that your contribution, other than informing us of all the negative aspects of cancer, which TRUST ME, I think we have all figured out, is not what, I think the majority of us are looking for here.
    I don't hope or pray antyhing for you, because I know you would come back and tell me that would be a futile attempt. I don't think I can wish you well either, cuz apparantely that is not something you are pursuing either.
    I can say though, that I hope you find a forum that suits your mood :)!
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #43
    Glenna M said:

    I know better...
    I know better than to get involved in this discussion but I am going to anyways ;-)

    Cancerite says she has been in mourning since June of 2008. Two years of mourning??? Unless you enjoy being sad,angry,bitter or depressed about something that happened to you 2 years ago I would like to suggest counseling. I have had several family members die from cancer and I mourned them, but not for 2 years and I loved them dearly.

    As you said Phil, she has not posted anything in her profile which makes me wonder...hmmmmm why she came to this website in the first place. If she was looking for help, advice or encouragement it is understandable as this is an excellent site full of many helpful people. But she hasn't, so I wonder about her reasons for posting at all. Granted, anyone can post but we get enough angry, depressing posts (understandably) from those who are still in treatment or have been given a terminal diagnosis.

    I have not been cured, I am in remission (from two seperate types of cancer)and the doctors have told me that this is as good as it gets but I am not bitter or angry. I also loved my precancer life but I have learned to live my "new" life and enjoy it. I'm not bitter or sad because those emotions would take away from the quality of what time I have left. I prefer to be happy and live my life to the fullest everyday.

    I hope this post doesn't "open a can of worms" and I do not want to hurt anyones feelings but I just had to say how I feel and what I think. Sometimes I just don't know enough to keep my mouth shut ;-)

    My best to everyone,
    Glenna

    hidden feelings
    IMO each of us are entitled to post our feelings. This is actually a help to the person that can't talk about things to other people. Just the act of writing about it might help. If you don't get it out and talk about it then it stays buried deep and becomes a cancer of itself. I understand what y'all are saying but I can see both sides. We enjoy the fun posts better but support means 'To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen.' We post to give and receive strength. Or am I missing something?
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #44
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    YES

    YES
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #45
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Also
    neither is cancer...
    :-)

    Have you read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom Cancerite? It's very good (IMO) and is a quick read with an interesting relevant story behind it. It could give you a different outlook.
    -p
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #46
    PhillieG said:

    Also
    neither is cancer...
    :-)

    Have you read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom Cancerite? It's very good (IMO) and is a quick read with an interesting relevant story behind it. It could give you a different outlook.
    -p

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #47
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Happy :-)
    I didn't find it depressing at all.
    Not budging one bit are you?

    Maybe read something very maudlin, then you might find it to be uplifting???
    Just a thought.
    Enjoy your weekend
    -p
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #48
    PhillieG said:

    Happy :-)
    I didn't find it depressing at all.
    Not budging one bit are you?

    Maybe read something very maudlin, then you might find it to be uplifting???
    Just a thought.
    Enjoy your weekend
    -p

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • SueRelays
    SueRelays Member Posts: 485
    #49
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Ok, I'm actually starting to
    Ok, I'm actually starting to find you amusing~
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #50
    Glenna M said:

    I know better...
    I know better than to get involved in this discussion but I am going to anyways ;-)

    Cancerite says she has been in mourning since June of 2008. Two years of mourning??? Unless you enjoy being sad,angry,bitter or depressed about something that happened to you 2 years ago I would like to suggest counseling. I have had several family members die from cancer and I mourned them, but not for 2 years and I loved them dearly.

    As you said Phil, she has not posted anything in her profile which makes me wonder...hmmmmm why she came to this website in the first place. If she was looking for help, advice or encouragement it is understandable as this is an excellent site full of many helpful people. But she hasn't, so I wonder about her reasons for posting at all. Granted, anyone can post but we get enough angry, depressing posts (understandably) from those who are still in treatment or have been given a terminal diagnosis.

    I have not been cured, I am in remission (from two seperate types of cancer)and the doctors have told me that this is as good as it gets but I am not bitter or angry. I also loved my precancer life but I have learned to live my "new" life and enjoy it. I'm not bitter or sad because those emotions would take away from the quality of what time I have left. I prefer to be happy and live my life to the fullest everyday.

    I hope this post doesn't "open a can of worms" and I do not want to hurt anyones feelings but I just had to say how I feel and what I think. Sometimes I just don't know enough to keep my mouth shut ;-)

    My best to everyone,
    Glenna

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #51
    SueRelays said:

    Ok, I'm actually starting to
    Ok, I'm actually starting to find you amusing~

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #52
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    ???
    I find all of this strange. The reason we post "our stories" on our personal pages is so others can read about how we got to this site and we may find we have things in common. Sometimes it's a good thing to share. I know that when I find out that someone has had a similar experience I do not feel as alone. Other times it makes no difference. I'm surprised that you don't look (if it is that you don't)

    If I'm reading the beginning of your comments correctly you only let a few people know about your condition as you call it, and they are sworn to secrecy? Are you ashamed for some reason or worried work people will find out that you have cancer?

    I find it very interesting how people handle cancer so differently. One of my cousins developed cancer and she did not want to tell her brothers and sister about it. I found out by chance and probably because I got cancer before she did. I feel that the more support I can get and the more I can have people become informed so maybe they won't get cancer, the better off we all are. I certainly find nothing wrong with me having cancer. Maybe you don't feel anything is wrong with having cancer but it certainly comes across that way.

    When you did/did not fill out the personal information, why do you think they asked if it wasn't so it would be shared with members. It's not like people are asking for your real name, address, phone or SS#. I know some folks post all that (except the SS#) but they are the exception rather than the norm.

    I really have to question why you joined the site cancerite, I know it's your business but everything is a secret and you certainly do not come across as looking for support. Maybe just to vent a little? That's helpful at times too...
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #53
    PhillieG said:

    ???
    I find all of this strange. The reason we post "our stories" on our personal pages is so others can read about how we got to this site and we may find we have things in common. Sometimes it's a good thing to share. I know that when I find out that someone has had a similar experience I do not feel as alone. Other times it makes no difference. I'm surprised that you don't look (if it is that you don't)

    If I'm reading the beginning of your comments correctly you only let a few people know about your condition as you call it, and they are sworn to secrecy? Are you ashamed for some reason or worried work people will find out that you have cancer?

    I find it very interesting how people handle cancer so differently. One of my cousins developed cancer and she did not want to tell her brothers and sister about it. I found out by chance and probably because I got cancer before she did. I feel that the more support I can get and the more I can have people become informed so maybe they won't get cancer, the better off we all are. I certainly find nothing wrong with me having cancer. Maybe you don't feel anything is wrong with having cancer but it certainly comes across that way.

    When you did/did not fill out the personal information, why do you think they asked if it wasn't so it would be shared with members. It's not like people are asking for your real name, address, phone or SS#. I know some folks post all that (except the SS#) but they are the exception rather than the norm.

    I really have to question why you joined the site cancerite, I know it's your business but everything is a secret and you certainly do not come across as looking for support. Maybe just to vent a little? That's helpful at times too...

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #54
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    I can see your point
    I suppose that I'm more comfortable with colon cancer than if I had anal cancer but I'd like to think that if I had anal cancer I'd be comfortable to say that. Who knows, maybe I'd say I had colon cancer instead. It really is nothing to be ashamed of and I do not think that having anal cancer has anything to do with what one does in "the bedroom" anymore than does have colon cancer, rectal cancer, lung cancer (people who never smoke get that too) etc.

    I also hear you with the "feeling sorry for you" part too. I have in-laws through marriage who are always asking me how I feel as if I'm a little kid with a tummy ache. I have a childhood friend (I use that term VERY loosely) that I always feel I am letting him down because I'm not friggin dead yet. He's VERY gloom & doom. I do feel though that 98% of the people I know have been very supportive of me and I've gained so much from being extremely open about my cancer.

    We all see it (cancer) differently just as we all see most other things differently. There is no one size fits all. I do hope that you find what you are looking for here and any other place you happen to go to. We are all pretty much in the same boat but we may be on different journeys. Most all of the people are supportive in one way or another if that is what would be helpful to you.
    It ain't easy but it is what it is...
    -phil
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #55
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #56
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #57
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    MJ and Farrah
    I had written a letter to the editor of our local paper at the time of Farrah's passing and how it was delegated as a "minor" story because of MJ's drug overdose. The editor told me that it was one of the best letters he had seen in a long time. It was a golden opportunity for public awareness for cancer but alas, it was not a big enough story because of the infatuation we all have with celebrity. Yes, Farrah was a celebrity but I think her death from anal cancer was more newsworthy and had the potential to educate people and possibly prevent more deaths while MJ's demise was too bad but it was (in my opinion) not an educational moment.
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #58
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    I can understand
    I can understand embarrassment. I'm very introverted in person but I can tell you guys more because you don't know me. There are still things I can't even say here.

    I've gotten use to saying 'breast' but on another message board I've avoided telling them the type of cancer. In person it's obvious.

    I've opened up a lot more because I try. But I still get embarrassed sometimes. There are still things I can't say to anyone.

    Here is the age old question: Is it because of personality or upbringing? And will it be my demise (I'm just thinking to myself).
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #59
    Marcia527 said:

    I can understand
    I can understand embarrassment. I'm very introverted in person but I can tell you guys more because you don't know me. There are still things I can't even say here.

    I've gotten use to saying 'breast' but on another message board I've avoided telling them the type of cancer. In person it's obvious.

    I've opened up a lot more because I try. But I still get embarrassed sometimes. There are still things I can't say to anyone.

    Here is the age old question: Is it because of personality or upbringing? And will it be my demise (I'm just thinking to myself).

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #60
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #61
    Marcia527 said:

    I can understand
    I can understand embarrassment. I'm very introverted in person but I can tell you guys more because you don't know me. There are still things I can't even say here.

    I've gotten use to saying 'breast' but on another message board I've avoided telling them the type of cancer. In person it's obvious.

    I've opened up a lot more because I try. But I still get embarrassed sometimes. There are still things I can't say to anyone.

    Here is the age old question: Is it because of personality or upbringing? And will it be my demise (I'm just thinking to myself).

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

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