Newly diagnosed

QuiltingMama123
QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi! I'm new to all of this. Three weeks ago yesterday, I went in for my yearly mammogram. They found a "spot" and I had a needle biopsy 4 days later. This Friday, I am going to have a lumpectomy. A month after that I will start radiation for 6-7 weeks, unless chemo postpones that. My husband is out of town visiting his sick mother (he comes back tonight), and I am feeling incredibly sad. I know I am lucky that it was found so early, and I know my prognosis is very good. I feel guilty saying that I am scared - so many people are worse off than I am - but I have to tell someone. I am scared. And sad. And really angry that this is happening to me. Please, someone out there, tell me I am not being the world's biggest whiner. I'm upbeat most of the time, but every now and then...

Comments

  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    #2
    I'm so sorry
    I'm so sorry that you're here because of cancer, but glad you found this site, which is a life saver in so many ways. You are NOT a whiner. You've expressed what we've all felt and said at one point or another. You are lucky that it's apparently been found early enough that your prognosis is good, but there's many moments when no of us have felt lucky. I'm sorry your husband isn't home but he'll be there tonight to give you a huge hug. It's OK to be sad, scared, wondering and angry. We're all here for you. Feel free to come here and vent anytime. Sometimes a good cry, or yell helps. I finished treatment (stage 3, IDC 6.5cm) in January 2010 and while you have no reason to believe it, it will become a memory (although an awful one) in time.

    Take someone with you to your appointments, write down all your questions, no question is silly or stupid and we deserve all the answers we can get.

    Come here an vent anytime you want to, and if he wishes, invite your husband to find a place like this for him to vent -- don't know if you'll want to "share the site" with him.

    We're here for you and you will get through this. It just SUCKS while you're doing it.

    Marge
  • Christine Louise
    Christine Louise Member Posts: 426 Member
    #3
    You are not a whiner
    Sorry you had to find us this way, but we are all here to tell you that it's okay to be sad, scared, mad, or however else you feel about a breast cancer diagnosis. Please, no guilt! It is a major blow, especially in the beginning when you have so many unknowns and new information to process.

    I'm so glad your husband is returning tonight. Don't hesitate to share your feelings with him. It does no good to act brave and try to protect others from your sorrow. You need to let out your emotions however they may come.

    We are here for you, no matter what you want to express to us.
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691 Member
    #4
    Sorry this is happening to


    Sorry this is happening to you and that you have BC diagnosis. Toss your guilt to frogs, really, there is nothing wrong with feeling scared, angry and/or sad about your situation. It is a natural part of life. Whatever you feel is what you feel and if you are able to open to those feelings they will pass and something new will come along.

    I am also very upbeat and have a good attitude and the days that I don't feel that way, I don't feel that way and I just hold myself in the way that I need, sometimes like a little baby, because that is the comforting I really need. Having compassion for ourselves goes a long way particuarly in getting through this treatment.

    take care and this is a great place for support with great women all in various stages of treatment with all sorts of experience.
  • hopeful in tally
    hopeful in tally Member Posts: 56
    #5
    NO ... you are NOT the
    NO ... you are NOT the world's biggest whiner!!! You have every right to feel angry and scared. I am glad you found this website because you will find that this emotional roller coaster you are on is totally normal. We have all been there and can totally relate to those emotions. For whatever it's worth .. after my diagnosis on 3/23/10 (a date I will never forget) ... I could not get through a conversation without tears. I too was angry and scared of the unknown. Once you and your team of Doctors put a plan together, this will help to give you reassurance that you are going to fight this beast with everything you got. The emotion invested in the fear and anger will turn to determination and your will to live a long and healthy life will turn into the positive energy you need to fight this. Deep down you say you are a positive, upbeat person. Give yourself a chance to digest the information and know in your heart that you are not alone. Take one day at a time and know in your heart ... you will get through this and you will be a stronger person on the other side of this battle. I just completed 7 weeks of radiation and it was not anything as bad as what I had expected. The unknown is frightening. Think positive thoughts ... remove negativity from your life. I along with thousands of other "sisters" are here for you ... and believe in you ... now start believing in yourself!!!!!
  • 2Floridiansisters
    2Floridiansisters Member Posts: 384 Member
    #6
    hopeful in tally said:

    NO ... you are NOT the
    NO ... you are NOT the world's biggest whiner!!! You have every right to feel angry and scared. I am glad you found this website because you will find that this emotional roller coaster you are on is totally normal. We have all been there and can totally relate to those emotions. For whatever it's worth .. after my diagnosis on 3/23/10 (a date I will never forget) ... I could not get through a conversation without tears. I too was angry and scared of the unknown. Once you and your team of Doctors put a plan together, this will help to give you reassurance that you are going to fight this beast with everything you got. The emotion invested in the fear and anger will turn to determination and your will to live a long and healthy life will turn into the positive energy you need to fight this. Deep down you say you are a positive, upbeat person. Give yourself a chance to digest the information and know in your heart that you are not alone. Take one day at a time and know in your heart ... you will get through this and you will be a stronger person on the other side of this battle. I just completed 7 weeks of radiation and it was not anything as bad as what I had expected. The unknown is frightening. Think positive thoughts ... remove negativity from your life. I along with thousands of other "sisters" are here for you ... and believe in you ... now start believing in yourself!!!!!

    Oh QuiltingMama I'm so sorry
    I can only repeat what all the other ladies have said before me, ditto ditto ditto, (I'm just not all that good with words).

    Love Ronda
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #7
    I am so glad that you came
    I am so glad that you came to this wonderful support site. They have helped me tremendously. I am first of all sorry for you having to be here for the reason you are. And every emotion and feeling you are going through is totally natural. We have all been there. I was shocked and in a denial at first and told myself i just had to be strong and fight this because of my three kids. That didnt last very long. I broke down and cried. I was angry, scared, sad and a total mess. You are in no way at all being a whiner. Like i said, i was strong, or thought i was, in the beginning too. For me i dont think it really actually hit me at first. You definately need to have some type of support. You dont have to go through this alone and coming here you are with sisters that have gone or going through the same thing. It is very scary, especially when you get closer to treatment. Its wierd that you said you feel guilty because you know there are some that are worse off than you because the day i found out i was cancer free, i found out a women that is younger than me, was told that she needs to start making her final decissions and getting things in order because her bc spread to her brain. The only treatment they can do is spot radiation treatments. I felt so bad and thought how can i be celebrating my being free when there are so many others out there still fighting and some loosing to this beast. The answer is because i deserve my celebration. I am a fighter, a warrior and a survivor. And now i can help others who are going through their fight still. I can hopefully make them feel better and give them my hope. Keep coming here and keep sharing all you need to. There is always someone here to help and give advice.

    Take care
    Laura
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #8
    You are NOT a whiner!
    I was diagnosed with what they thought was stage 1 cancer in January - turned out it did get into a few of the sentinel lymph nodes, so changed to a stage 1B. My world was turned upside down and stayed that way for months. My doctor kept telling me "you're gonna be fine" and that I was lucky. I told him that "lucky" was NOT a word that I could use for myself. I ended up actually crying in his office a couple of times, and said what you have said - that I felt guilty because others have more to deal with than I do, but he told me not to feel that way - that anytime you're given a "cancer" diagnosis, it's devastating, no matter what. I'm glad you've found this site now - I didn't find this until after two surgeries and radiation, and it is a wonderful place to connect with others who understand all the emotions that this involves. We're here for you! I will keep you, along with all the others here, in my prayers. I wish all the best for you. You are not alone!!!
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #9
    We'll all get through this together
    What on earth did women do before the internet and forums like this? I feel extremely blessed to have found this group and to learn about everyone's journeys. I hope it will provide you with the knowledge and peace to know you're not nuts, a baby, or a shrew. It has for me. It has also provided information and answers to questions I didn't even think about. I will not be passive in my medical care and I need to know and understand just what it is that's going on with me. I have a great deal of trust in my physicians, but I just need to understand what the heck is going on as much as possible. This forum has really helped me formulate reasonably intelligent questions to my physicians and understand some of the overwhelming aspects of this disease. Welcome to a place where you can say what you want and where someone will understand.

    Suzanne
  • QuiltingMama123
    QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
    #10
    Double Whammy said:

    We'll all get through this together
    What on earth did women do before the internet and forums like this? I feel extremely blessed to have found this group and to learn about everyone's journeys. I hope it will provide you with the knowledge and peace to know you're not nuts, a baby, or a shrew. It has for me. It has also provided information and answers to questions I didn't even think about. I will not be passive in my medical care and I need to know and understand just what it is that's going on with me. I have a great deal of trust in my physicians, but I just need to understand what the heck is going on as much as possible. This forum has really helped me formulate reasonably intelligent questions to my physicians and understand some of the overwhelming aspects of this disease. Welcome to a place where you can say what you want and where someone will understand.

    Suzanne

    Thanks so much!
    Thank you all for your support! My husband is home, I had a good cry on his shoulder, we talked about how I really am, and I feel much better. Checking in to my new favorite site and getting all this positive feedback has really, really helped. I'm ready for the fight to begin.
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #11
    QuiltingMama123 said:

    Thanks so much!
    Thank you all for your support! My husband is home, I had a good cry on his shoulder, we talked about how I really am, and I feel much better. Checking in to my new favorite site and getting all this positive feedback has really, really helped. I'm ready for the fight to begin.

    Im happy he is finally home
    Im happy he is finally home for you and gave you his shoulder to cry on. Sharing and talking will make you feel better because you arent holding it in. Im so glad you are blessed to have a supportive husband.

    laura
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #12
    QuiltingMama123 said:

    Thanks so much!
    Thank you all for your support! My husband is home, I had a good cry on his shoulder, we talked about how I really am, and I feel much better. Checking in to my new favorite site and getting all this positive feedback has really, really helped. I'm ready for the fight to begin.

    So sorry you found us
    So sorry you found us because you have bc, but, you have found the best site for support and help.

    Glad your husband is home and that you feel better!

    Hugs, Leeza
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #13
    QuiltingMama123 said:

    Thanks so much!
    Thank you all for your support! My husband is home, I had a good cry on his shoulder, we talked about how I really am, and I feel much better. Checking in to my new favorite site and getting all this positive feedback has really, really helped. I'm ready for the fight to begin.

    I wanted to also welcome
    I wanted to also welcome you, QuiltingMama, to this wonderful group of very caring, sensitive, knowledgeable and supportive individuals. I am very happy that you found this site and I know you will be, too. You can vent, cry, share moments, ask questions and anything else you might think of. I remember all too well being in this same situation last year when I was diagnosed. It is scary for sure. This site helped me understand the various types of breast cancer and also the various treatments. The best part of this site are the very special pink sisters you will meet. So, welcome and continue to post and we'll be with you throughout your journey. Take care.
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #14
    MyTurnNow said:

    I wanted to also welcome
    I wanted to also welcome you, QuiltingMama, to this wonderful group of very caring, sensitive, knowledgeable and supportive individuals. I am very happy that you found this site and I know you will be, too. You can vent, cry, share moments, ask questions and anything else you might think of. I remember all too well being in this same situation last year when I was diagnosed. It is scary for sure. This site helped me understand the various types of breast cancer and also the various treatments. The best part of this site are the very special pink sisters you will meet. So, welcome and continue to post and we'll be with you throughout your journey. Take care.

    Welcome quilting mama!
    Welcome quilting mama! Hoping that your husband did make you feel a lot better!


    Hugs, Megan
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
    #15
    Rolling Out the Pink Carpet Just For You...
    Welcome!
    So sorry we had to meet this way!
    It IS scary.
    But I can tell you with the utmost of confidence you are not alone.
    I found this site and felt instantly connected with everyone.
    No subject is off limits and no one gets annoyed if you whine...you're going through a lot! :)
    Welcome, welcome, welcome!!

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #16
    QuiltingMama123 said:

    Thanks so much!
    Thank you all for your support! My husband is home, I had a good cry on his shoulder, we talked about how I really am, and I feel much better. Checking in to my new favorite site and getting all this positive feedback has really, really helped. I'm ready for the fight to begin.

    Glad you like the site! I
    Glad you like the site! I knew you would!

    You will fight this and you will WIN!
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #17
    SamuraiMom said:

    Rolling Out the Pink Carpet Just For You...
    Welcome!
    So sorry we had to meet this way!
    It IS scary.
    But I can tell you with the utmost of confidence you are not alone.
    I found this site and felt instantly connected with everyone.
    No subject is off limits and no one gets annoyed if you whine...you're going through a lot! :)
    Welcome, welcome, welcome!!

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom

    Yes, welcome! You come here
    Yes, welcome! You come here whenever you need to vent or just type something or need a prayer or a cyber hug. That is why we are here!

    Be kind to yourself! Good luck with your surgery!

    Sue :)
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #18
    This site is great
    This site is great. We are all here for the same battle and you will be standing with a lot of strong women. I am sorry you had to come here but I just want to let you know that you can get a lot of good information and plenty of support here. And yes I was feeling all those emotions too. It really will help you to have your husband beside you as mine has been for me from day 1.

    Hugs

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