Calling all Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender cancer survivors and caregivers

calliemom64 said:

I am a Lesbian breast cancer survivor...
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Nov. 3, 2008...the day before my daughter's 10th birt hday. I went on to have a double mastectomy and 1 whole year of chemo...even though they got all the cancer with the surgery. I am a single Mom of 2, a college student (at 46!!), and have a girlfriend. We met in 8th grade, 33 years ago, but we we're both too scared to admit we were in love with each other. After graduation we lost track, and I found her after 28 years on Facebook!!! We haven't had a chance to be together yet, but on June 3, I am going to Ohio to see her, (I live in Missouri). My dilemma is that nobody but drs. & nurses have seen my scars. I am scared to death to let her see me naked. She is a Uterine cancer survivor, and her missing parts are not visible. Even if they were, I would still love her. She says that me not having breasts doesn't matter to her, just the pain I went through of going through 3 surgeries & a year of chemo with absolutely no help!
I have nobody to talk to or confide in except Linda. I've kept all of this inside me for the past year & a half. Now it is all coming to the surface & I am not dealing with it very well.
Does anybody know if ACS or Medicaid will pay for a private counselor for me to talk to? I REALLY need someone. I am literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and I am scared.
Any information you have would really help. Thank you...

I am a survivor of recurring thyroid cancer
Hello everyone, I am fairly new to the site and just stumbled onto this section and am glad I found it. I am a 38yr old lesbian, proud mom of 3, grandma to one, and have been thru thryoid cancer twice and looking at my 3rd go round. My girlfriend has been great as the last 2 1/2 years have been pretty rough on her with me being in and out of the hospital, I had 4 surgeries and some other stuff before getting diagnosed with thyroid cancer the 2nd time around and that was only a year ago. I live in Wyo which is pretty rural so my access to support groups, let alone lesbian ones, is limited so finding this site was a god send for me. I know I have been blessed and pretty lucky to have such a wonderful woman who has stood by me and even held my hair out of the way while I was puking and basically was disgusting lol, if that doesn't say love what does? ~ We have only been together for approx 6 years and man it has been a rough journey for her, but the goddess blessed me with a wonderful woman. Part of me does hate putting her thru this so most of the time I keep how I feel to myself, I really hate worrying her. Anyways this has turned into a ramble and I do aplogize for that. I am looking forward to reading the posts on this forum and meeting (virtually at least) others.

Taffi

whistlestopgirl said:

Welcome to this board Taffi
Hi Taffi,

I am the caregiver of an ovarian/endemetrial cancer survivor. We have been together 10 years and we also live in an area that offers little in the way of support groups. Especially lesbian and gay support groups. Anyway we have been on this journey about two years. My partner is on her second round of chemo treatments and has just started taking other drugs to slow down the spread of her cancer. Anyway welcome to this board. If you want you are welcome to email me directly. It does help having others who know what it is like to walk down this long hard road. My partner also feels she hates putting me through this, but there is no place on earth I would rather be than next to her. I know that is where I was always ment to be, and I don't regret one minute of my time helping her fight this hard battle against a terrible enemy called cancer. Also don't apologize for what you call rambling. We are here for each other on this board and sometimes writing out our feelings is good for us. This is a good place to express our feelings so please feel free to email this board as often and as long as you want and also feel free to email me personally as well.

Take care,
Diane

I too Welcome youu
And so grateful you found a place to lay all you feel and never be sorry for that. It is a safe place to be totally honest though I know sometimes it feels like we all are suppose to be these positive beings. We have to be enough of that out in the real world sparing our families often from our harsh truths.
Dated my girlfriend for 4.5 years long distance then moved after I was ill with my 14 year old angry teen. I needed help with him just didn't know how much help I would truly need in the end. Love is an amazing thing and just when you think you have lost it and maybe forever something magical can Happen... This journey through my health hasn't been easy though we have had some good years and that is what we remind ourselves of and that we have weathered our storms.
I like you both feel so fortunate and can only hope that she feels like you do Diane. We have come along way since my dx 14 years ago and just thankful we found away to stay together after it was all said and done. We are now 18 years and counting and actually for the first time in years I am happy and finally feel like we have found our place with each other and our new normal...
Tara

jamie-d said:

lesbian with cancer
Hi, I really tk it's cool that people are responding to idea. A place where we can go to talk about what we are dealing with is something I think we all need. I am 31 and have Mixoid Liposarcoma, I had surgery 1 n half months ago. Now they r checking my bones. I'm in the dark about my cancer. I'm gonna have to start asking questions and quit being afraid. I am just now realizing " I have cancer" I havent had chemo yet n i'm crossing my fingers that I wont have to and in all I pray I have a good doctor, she has been real nice so far, i'm just really freaked out. I feel like this web page is the best thing that has happened to me in a long while. I'm not the only one. GOD Bless you, jamie

Hi All
Have not been around alot last few months was trying to move beyon brest cancer, but am now waiting to see if the beast has draged me back in to the war. will try and post more often
tj

tjhay said:

Hi All
Have not been around alot last few months was trying to move beyon brest cancer, but am now waiting to see if the beast has draged me back in to the war. will try and post more often
tj

Sending Prayers
Will be sending up prayers for you that the beast is still gone....

God Bless
Beth

Calling all LGBT CANCER survivors
Hi Everyone,
I am a single Lesbian, (54) endometrial cancer survivor. I already received some great replies from "whistlestopgirl" on another posting in this same category.

I was 2 yrs. post menopause & already stopped the night sweats, the hot flashes, the moodiness, crying jags, fuzziness & my "normal" insomnia was not as severe & I thought I made it over to the side of blissful post menopause life. I started "feeling weird" around 9/1/10, bloating, abdominal & pelvic pain, moodiness, crying @ dog food commercials, assorted aches/pains, nausea & ovarian pain.

I made a gyn appt. & could not get in till 9/17/10. Outer & inner labia was sore inflammed & itching. Ran a bunch of tests, I thought I was having vulva cancer symptoms & the regular gyno pooh-poohed me, said I did not have vulva cancer.

Then 10/23/10 started bleeding vaginally really bad, severe cramps, clots, PMS, everything like when I use to go through periods of missing periods & then hemmorhaging like in the old "period" days.

Did not do any of those endometrial biopsies cause I was too much in pain, couldn't even get the speculum in properly. She did an internal transvaginal ultrasound & found my lining was about 9mm thick & a mass. Had D & C with hysterscope on 12/13/10 & sent tissues to path lab. DX with grade 2 endometrial cancer on 12/21/10.

Went in for full, radical hysterectomy via daVinci robotic laproscopic surgery. Took ovaries, tubes, uterus, 7 lymph nodes & cervix. Staged it as self contained in uterine lining Stage 1A/Grade 2. Everything clear except small spot in uterine lining. Some suspicious cells found in pelvic wash but none were "malignant". Thank God, no chemo, radiation or pills required. Feel great.

I live alone, no financial support except living paycheck to paycheck from my job in a call center. I have no savings. My insurance stinks, it is almost like no insurance & all these bills are coming in. I can just almost pay my normal bills if the days fall right.

Question is the medical bills are piling up, (deductibles, co-pays & the portion the insurance does not pay) it is almost impossible to pay them, once I pay normal bills I am lucky if I have 2 cents to rub together. I am going to have to somehow apply for financial medical assistance but there are so many bills, the reg gyn, the gyn/oncologist, the path labs, the radiologists, the blood labs, the chest x-rays, ct scans, ekg/eeg, the anesthiologists etc. etc. (YOU ALL GET THE PICTURE.) I get 1/2-1 hr break for lunch, can't leave work to visit all these entities. If I don't work, don't get paid. how do you co-ordinate all this stuff?

I am getting myself stressed out & sick, my digestive system has bottomed out. Can one centralized office in the hospital co-ordinate all these standalone bills? Aren't the cancer centers in my hospital where my oncologist is suppose to ease the financial burden of cancer patients/survivors? It is almost like I am not a real survivor since I did not have to go through additional therapy.

Anyway does anyone have some advice? I need some ideas. thanks for listening to the ranting but I am crazy trying to figure out where the money will come from. Thanks, love, peace, health & blessings to all!!!!!!!!

Domina said:

Calling all LGBT CANCER survivors
Hi Everyone,
I am a single Lesbian, (54) endometrial cancer survivor. I already received some great replies from "whistlestopgirl" on another posting in this same category.

I was 2 yrs. post menopause & already stopped the night sweats, the hot flashes, the moodiness, crying jags, fuzziness & my "normal" insomnia was not as severe & I thought I made it over to the side of blissful post menopause life. I started "feeling weird" around 9/1/10, bloating, abdominal & pelvic pain, moodiness, crying @ dog food commercials, assorted aches/pains, nausea & ovarian pain.

I made a gyn appt. & could not get in till 9/17/10. Outer & inner labia was sore inflammed & itching. Ran a bunch of tests, I thought I was having vulva cancer symptoms & the regular gyno pooh-poohed me, said I did not have vulva cancer.

Then 10/23/10 started bleeding vaginally really bad, severe cramps, clots, PMS, everything like when I use to go through periods of missing periods & then hemmorhaging like in the old "period" days.

Did not do any of those endometrial biopsies cause I was too much in pain, couldn't even get the speculum in properly. She did an internal transvaginal ultrasound & found my lining was about 9mm thick & a mass. Had D & C with hysterscope on 12/13/10 & sent tissues to path lab. DX with grade 2 endometrial cancer on 12/21/10.

Went in for full, radical hysterectomy via daVinci robotic laproscopic surgery. Took ovaries, tubes, uterus, 7 lymph nodes & cervix. Staged it as self contained in uterine lining Stage 1A/Grade 2. Everything clear except small spot in uterine lining. Some suspicious cells found in pelvic wash but none were "malignant". Thank God, no chemo, radiation or pills required. Feel great.

I live alone, no financial support except living paycheck to paycheck from my job in a call center. I have no savings. My insurance stinks, it is almost like no insurance & all these bills are coming in. I can just almost pay my normal bills if the days fall right.

Question is the medical bills are piling up, (deductibles, co-pays & the portion the insurance does not pay) it is almost impossible to pay them, once I pay normal bills I am lucky if I have 2 cents to rub together. I am going to have to somehow apply for financial medical assistance but there are so many bills, the reg gyn, the gyn/oncologist, the path labs, the radiologists, the blood labs, the chest x-rays, ct scans, ekg/eeg, the anesthiologists etc. etc. (YOU ALL GET THE PICTURE.) I get 1/2-1 hr break for lunch, can't leave work to visit all these entities. If I don't work, don't get paid. how do you co-ordinate all this stuff?

I am getting myself stressed out & sick, my digestive system has bottomed out. Can one centralized office in the hospital co-ordinate all these standalone bills? Aren't the cancer centers in my hospital where my oncologist is suppose to ease the financial burden of cancer patients/survivors? It is almost like I am not a real survivor since I did not have to go through additional therapy.

Anyway does anyone have some advice? I need some ideas. thanks for listening to the ranting but I am crazy trying to figure out where the money will come from. Thanks, love, peace, health & blessings to all!!!!!!!!

Domina
Hello, about your financial questions. You might try a website "CancerCare", they can help with co-pays and a varety of other things. We couldn't use them because we don't have insurance but they seem geared towards helping people with insurance.

Good Luck
Diane

Papillary and Follicular Thyroid Cancer here...
Hi there. I was diaganosed with papillary and follicular cancer, one differentiated cancer in each lobe, back in 2004. I was married to my now ex husband at the time, who wasn't really around for the journey. I have been cancer free for 7 years now and have seen some wonderful endocrinologists and oncologists in the process. Once I started this journey, I also encountered the fact that I truly appreciated life and all the ups and downs it offers. My husband however, was not on the same page. However, during this trying time, I also realized my sexual orientation, so lots of changes and adjustments needless to say.
Here in Alaska, The American Cancer Society has been awesome and a great resource for me personally. Nationwide, Thyca.org has been another resource I have been able to utilize to empower me in my life long journey. Wanted to share a little of my experience and wanted to thank all of you for doing the same.

Hi everyone I am from
Hi everyone I am from Austin, Texas, a senior in college and recently finished radiation from the recurrence of the Desmoid Tumor in my hip. My girlfriend played a huge part in getting me through everything.

Hope everything is going good with all of yall

Abby