Just a little scared.

dorion
dorion Member Posts: 183
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hey, So it's Meghan. It's about 2 AM and i was thinking about my mom, How she seems to be...I don't know...Giving up? See, She used to have good days, and bad days. Now she has bad days, and worse days. Whats also been on my mind is the fact that she is hiding things from me. About 2 weeks ago, at a lobster fest i was with her good friend Stephen. I was playing with his black berry and talking to his friend darren on some kind of...MSN thing...And i accidently scrolled up and saw just half of the sentance that said "Linda's chemo isn't working, please don't tell Meghan." Great, So, Some freak wh hasn't even met my mom is allowed to know this information but her own daighter isn't? For instants (god forbid) if she passes away i'm the one that will be affected. Not this Darren dude, He'll just be like "Oh...dude...thats horrible" and pat my shoulder or somthing...And meaninglessly say sorry.Darn, I forgot what else i was going to say...I hate when that happens.Oh right! And...some people on CSN are on facebook...Have you ever seen my wall? Most of her friends, Including some of mine are always posting things like "Hey just wanted to ask you how your mom is doing" and "Hey Meghan, Just tried calling your mom, No answer...Could you tell her to call me at (insert inconsiderate persons number here)"...What's missing? Can you guess? WOULD IT KILL ANYBODY TO ASK HOW I AM DOING...And why are they posting this on MY wall?Why not hers?....I mean i don't care if they don't care ( okay, maybe i care alittle), Just asking for the sake of being nice is still cool...I don't mean to be annoying by venting (Even though when i vent it can be kind of funny) But i had a lot on my mind...And this was my only hope of getting my feelings out...Thanks for listening.


With Love,
Meghan

Comments

  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980 Member
    #2
    I wish I was there to HELP you, to HUG you. Poor baby.
    I have been worrying and wondering and asking others here on the Board about your Mom and you, because it's not like your mom not to post for so long. Thanks so much for coming here and posting, sweetheart. Is there someone else there for you besides your mom, someone who can help you? Please talk with her oncology nurse or doctor and see if they can connect you with some support people, maybe someone you can talk with about all of this. From what I know of your mom from her posts here, she would want to shield you from worry. But I think that she would also tell you if she was in real trouble, health-wise, so you don't get blind-sided or caught off-guard. She loves you so much. Please keep coming back here. But ask at the hospital about some type of help for yourself if nothing is lined up yet, just for this interim, until your mom is feeling better. (((((Meghan)))) Please post again and let us know that you are not alone dealing with this, honey. We are worried about you.
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #3
    SORRY, MEGHAN
    Some people can be inconsiderate. But oftentimes it's unintentional. Some people just don't know what to say, and some people try but just can't find the right words. So I'm here to ask, 'how are YOU doing'? I know this is hard on you. But I am so glad to see that Linda's daugther is so kind-hearted and loving and involved with her mother's situation and care.

    As for you mom, and as a mother myself, I can surely understand if there's some things she might not want to mention to you. It seems as though she's been pretty up front in the past, so maybe she's just tired and doesn't want to 'talk' about it. If she has some 'better moments', maybe you can approach her and just ask if there's anything she wants to 'vent' about. In the meantime, you're doing the best you can, and so is your Mom.

    Don't every worry about spitting it out here. We don't mind. In fact I personally find it an honor to know that someone feels comfortable enough to take me in their confidence and talk to me about something so personal and important. Thank you for the continued updates. I will continue to pray for you and your mom. And, of course, sending lots of (((HUGS))) to you both!

    Monika
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #4
    Meghan,
    Thanks for posting. I just sent you a message on FB.
    Love you,
    Kathleen
  • Hissy_Fitz
    Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
    #5
    Meghan, dear, you are so in
    Meghan, dear, you are so in our thoughts. I hope you know that everyone on this board thinks about you all the time. We see our own children in every post you write. Se are "a little scared", too.

    I am so sorry to hear that your mom isn't feeling well, but don't give some random comment that you happened across too much importance. What makes these guys think your mom's chemo isn't working? Maybe that's just something they assumed because they haven't heard from her, or maybe she posted something about not feeling good. Who knows?

    Does your mom have a sister or special girlfriend that you are close to? Someone you could call or text and just ask them to talk to you about this stuff - your mom's illness and everything. It might be that your mom just can't bring herself to have that kind of conversation with you herself. It is hard for us moms to say stuff that we know will hurt our children. My children are all grown-ups and it was still very, very hard for me to tell them that I had cancer. My daughter and I could not talk about it with each other for a long time because it made both of us cry.

    We love you,
    Carlene
  • msfanciful
    msfanciful Member Posts: 559
    #6
    Hello Meghan,
    I have been so
    Hello Meghan,

    I have been so worried about you and yes your mom.

    She is probably very scared as well and feels she is protecting you from harm by not divulging information about her condition.

    I'm sending you a message to fb.



    Love,
    Sharon
  • Tina Brown
    Tina Brown Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #7
    Hello Meghan
    I was so touched to read your post. I have a daughter and guess I kinda know where you are coming from. I also looked after my own mum when she was dying from cancer.

    What you are feeling is perfectly normal as you are going through your mum's illness alongside her but nobody seems to recognise your pain and suffering. I think it is very hard to care for your mum all this time and NOT TO vent like you have. I am pleased that you have written about your feelings because that is healthy and you would have probably felt better afterwards. (Unfortunatley I didn't talk about my fears and feelings when my mum was dying and I ended up having a breakdown)

    So my advice to you is to come on here and write about how things are and how you are feeling because it is a really healthy way for you to deal with what is happening to you.

    Much love to you Meghan and also to your mum, Tina xxx

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