Chemo Weight gain confused with Pregnancy

Pinkpower
Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
What do you do or say when people confuse your chemo weight with being pregnant? Very upsetting.

Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #2
    I'd just say, "I'm not
    I'd just say, "I'm not pregnant." and leave it at that. They should be embarrassed enough to shut up.

    Someone did say that to me years ago after I'd had my son and we went to a Christmas party. I still had the pregnant weight I'd gained. He said, "When are you going to have that baby." I said, "I did." He moved on. I think he was tipsy and didn't remember the whole thing anyway.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #3
    HMMMMMMM
    I THINK THE BEST RESPONSE TO THAT QUESTION WOULD BE......"WHY DO YOU ASK?" PUT THE BALL RIGHT BACK IN THEIR COURT! I HAVE FOUND THIS RESPONSE TO OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS HAS SERVED ME VERY WELL, NOT ONLY GOING THROUGH THIS BATTLE, BUT WITH MANY OTHER QUESTIONS I FEEL ARE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.......IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO STUMP THEM WHEN YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION..THEY STUMBLE AROUND FOR AN ANSWER......GIVE IT A TRY, SEE HOW IT WORKS FOR YOU...
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #4
    HMMMMMMM
    I THINK THE BEST RESPONSE TO THAT QUESTION WOULD BE......"WHY DO YOU ASK?" PUT THE BALL RIGHT BACK IN THEIR COURT! I HAVE FOUND THIS RESPONSE TO OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS HAS SERVED ME VERY WELL, NOT ONLY GOING THROUGH THIS BATTLE, BUT WITH MANY OTHER QUESTIONS I FEEL ARE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.......IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO STUMP THEM WHEN YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION..THEY STUMBLE AROUND FOR AN ANSWER......GIVE IT A TRY, SEE HOW IT WORKS FOR YOU...
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #5
    MAJW said:

    HMMMMMMM
    I THINK THE BEST RESPONSE TO THAT QUESTION WOULD BE......"WHY DO YOU ASK?" PUT THE BALL RIGHT BACK IN THEIR COURT! I HAVE FOUND THIS RESPONSE TO OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS HAS SERVED ME VERY WELL, NOT ONLY GOING THROUGH THIS BATTLE, BUT WITH MANY OTHER QUESTIONS I FEEL ARE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.......IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO STUMP THEM WHEN YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION..THEY STUMBLE AROUND FOR AN ANSWER......GIVE IT A TRY, SEE HOW IT WORKS FOR YOU...

    you probably still have a very short hair
    and you have gained weight and they think you are pregnant and get bold for fun. Show them a finger.
    I hope I will be not flagged.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #6
    Putting the shoe on the
    Putting the shoe on the other foot for just a second: Generally, "baby speak" is universal; it is an ice-breaker, it often also transcends the gender barrier, and is most-times an innocent question!
    I know my personality type; if I were still of childbearing years, and someone asked me the "when are you due" question, I think I would smile and say : "If only! Unfortunately, this weight gain is from chemo, and I hope to be back in perfect shape as soon as I am done!" Or somethng like that, anyway! If the person is a jerk, he will still be a jerk. If they are compassionate, they will be embarrassed and think twice before assuming, and third, you may open a conversation! A win-win situation!
    But...that's just me! My family has nicknamed me Switzerland; it's not that I am neutral, but I am a peacemaker if at all possible! This battle is hard enough, I would not be uduly upset at the ignorance of someone who may honestly just want to know if a little one will soon grace the family!

    Hugs,
    chen♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #7
    chenheart said:

    Putting the shoe on the
    Putting the shoe on the other foot for just a second: Generally, "baby speak" is universal; it is an ice-breaker, it often also transcends the gender barrier, and is most-times an innocent question!
    I know my personality type; if I were still of childbearing years, and someone asked me the "when are you due" question, I think I would smile and say : "If only! Unfortunately, this weight gain is from chemo, and I hope to be back in perfect shape as soon as I am done!" Or somethng like that, anyway! If the person is a jerk, he will still be a jerk. If they are compassionate, they will be embarrassed and think twice before assuming, and third, you may open a conversation! A win-win situation!
    But...that's just me! My family has nicknamed me Switzerland; it's not that I am neutral, but I am a peacemaker if at all possible! This battle is hard enough, I would not be uduly upset at the ignorance of someone who may honestly just want to know if a little one will soon grace the family!

    Hugs,
    chen♥

    I love what Nancy said...Why
    I love what Nancy said...Why do you ask? That puts the shoe on their foot, so to speak.

    I bet they would be a little bit tongue tied, don't you?


    Sue :)
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #8
    I don't know why people feel the urge to ask that question!
    My fat tummy is from menopause, not chemo. My answer is, 'Thank you for thinking I'm young enough to bear children, however...'

    Regardless of why someone carries a sparetire, no one should be so bold as to ask about it. Some people just never learn good manners. Hopefully, they didn't pat your tummy!

    Hang in there, don't let it get to you, it's just part of the whole bc package.

    My hugs and sympathy to you,

    Sue
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #9
    Thanks everyone for your
    Thanks everyone for your support. It was a co-worker who apparently she was the only one in the company to not know. It's not like an anouncement ws sent out but most notice something wrong when I cut my hair really short, then notice the different hair styles, colors and length every day. (I have 4 wigs which I alternate depending on my mood)But, she was embarrassed when I did tell her, no Im not pregnant, its weight gain from Chemo. But next time I will use Nancy advise and ask a question with a question so I dont have to feel like I have to explain my swollen tummy and extra body weight.
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #10
    sbmly53 said:

    I don't know why people feel the urge to ask that question!
    My fat tummy is from menopause, not chemo. My answer is, 'Thank you for thinking I'm young enough to bear children, however...'

    Regardless of why someone carries a sparetire, no one should be so bold as to ask about it. Some people just never learn good manners. Hopefully, they didn't pat your tummy!

    Hang in there, don't let it get to you, it's just part of the whole bc package.

    My hugs and sympathy to you,

    Sue

    sbmly53
    lol, you made me laugh. Luckly she did not pat my tummy! My brother told me the same thing you said about still looking young enough to be in child bearing age.
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #11
    MAJW said:

    HMMMMMMM
    I THINK THE BEST RESPONSE TO THAT QUESTION WOULD BE......"WHY DO YOU ASK?" PUT THE BALL RIGHT BACK IN THEIR COURT! I HAVE FOUND THIS RESPONSE TO OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS HAS SERVED ME VERY WELL, NOT ONLY GOING THROUGH THIS BATTLE, BUT WITH MANY OTHER QUESTIONS I FEEL ARE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.......IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO STUMP THEM WHEN YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION..THEY STUMBLE AROUND FOR AN ANSWER......GIVE IT A TRY, SEE HOW IT WORKS FOR YOU...

    MAJW
    Thanks, I will try that.
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #12
    New Flower said:

    you probably still have a very short hair
    and you have gained weight and they think you are pregnant and get bold for fun. Show them a finger.
    I hope I will be not flagged.

    New Flower
    lol... not in those exact words, but thats what my husband suggested I do next time. He was more explicit. Thanks :o)
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691 Member
    #13
    I used to have a fibroid
    I used to have a fibroid that at certain times of the month made me look about 5 months pregnant. I had many people ask me when the baby was due. My reponse was to politely tell them I was not pregnant and it was a begnin uterine growth. That was enough for them to back off and become very apologetic.

    People generally don't mean any harm they are often just thoughtless and wrapped up in their own world. I did look pregnant and so understood their question however they also don't have to ask or make any comment.

Discussion Boards