How are you doing Craig (Sundance)
mary
Comments
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I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig0 -
There are so many heros onSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
There are so many heros on this board.You are one of them and you are my hero.Anyway I want the tumor out and I am sure you and your family want the same thing.I have been praying for you that the coming up surgery will be a successful and smooth surgery.I hope this is the last surgery for you too.Stay strong and take care.Best wishes and best luck to you with the surgery.0 -
thank youSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
that's exactly what I was looking for, a rundown on just how you are doing. I found myself nodding through most of it, as I share many of your feelings. You definitely are strong, and I don't doubt you are up to the challenge, but I certainly understand your being tired. Some days it just seems like the battle is too much. Then, thankfully, we dredge up that strength we need, from wherever we need, and we march on. I will be heading out of town on the day you go into your surgery, for a high school reunion, so I definitely will be keeping you in mind. Sounds like you are on the right track and will do great!
mary0 -
Dear, dear CraigSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
Hey, Craig.
I've been praying for you and just hoping that you will have wonderful results from this surgery. I know you have to be anxious about all this, but you handle these things better than anyone I know. But please know that, despite the fact that we all look to you as a shining example of an "I can do it!" cancer patient, we will still love you if you need to fall apart once in awhile. When you need shoulders to cry on, there are plenty here for you.
*hugs*
Gail0 -
Just wanted to let you know,Sundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
Just wanted to let you know, I think about you every day. We don't know each other, but I have read your many posts, one of which was the benefit of a port. After six chemos, I just got my port yesterday. Thank you for this advice in advance.
Secondly, you have my prayers and heartfelt thoughts for your well being. Keep fighting my friend in cancer, I trust all will be well.
I'm sorry for your pain to come, BUT, I believe you will overcome this surgery as well.
My faith is in you and God.
Winter Marie0 -
dear CraigSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
Craig,
I just read this post after I finished sending you the PM asking about how you're feeling. So, here's my answer and I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing pain. I'm sure the physical pain makes it tougher emotionally, too. Well, all I can say to you is that I wish I could make it better for you and I am thinking of and praying for you.
Hugs to you, and hopefully the surgery will heal up nicely this time with no complications or further pain. You deserve good things.
Hugs and prayers,
Lisa0 -
Craig -Sundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
I will keep your
Craig -
I will keep your fears and feelings in my heart as I pray for you and your upcoming surgery.
I've only been fighting this **** for a year and I am ready for this to "be done" You are in year 6 and are still fighting. I feel so selfish. If anyone desrves to be on the pity pot adn whine some, its you my Craig.
My utmost wish for you is that this surgery works, healing occurs quickly and you can get back to gettin'.
((HUGS))
Peggy0 -
Big BroSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
I know you will get through this surgery, you better had :-)! then once you recover start on your book :-) Hugs sis0 -
PrayingSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
Sorry I haven't been on the board for a while. That by no means I don't think of all of you everyday. I will keep on my Prayer List along with everyone else. My family & I just completed our first Relay for Life in our area yesterday and today. Very touching how everone in the community comes together to try and find a cure, offer Prayer, and Hope for more Birthdays. Take care Craig and God Bless. Margaret0 -
and then Craig there was Buzz.............abmb said:Praying
Sorry I haven't been on the board for a while. That by no means I don't think of all of you everyday. I will keep on my Prayer List along with everyone else. My family & I just completed our first Relay for Life in our area yesterday and today. Very touching how everone in the community comes together to try and find a cure, offer Prayer, and Hope for more Birthdays. Take care Craig and God Bless. Margaret
and you know all to well that I won't let ya off that easy...My mom goes in for knee replacement the 7th and I will hold you in my thoughts as well as my mother..and you both will be fine, and BTW Harley was brought into your family just like "Bella" was brought into mine...she is a minature poodle that I was adamant about not getting or letting in our house. I don't know what I would do without her now. She has been so instrumental in my emotional being as well as rehab...Harley is the same to you. They were not brought into our families for no reason, they are another reason to continue this fight. Get your game face on and your head straight and, "LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE"........Thats the Craig I know, thats the battle I wanna see out of you. You are being watched the world over...The Da Vinchi Man...now dress out in your best fatiques and get you azz ready for battle.....cause we don't take no prisoners...your gonna kick its tail, AGAIN, and be all the better for it...
besides, we won't have anything else to read if you quit posting...now, buck up soldier, "To Infinity and Beyond".......Love and Hope to ya "Da Vinchi Man"...........Buzz 0 -
Craig, thank you once again
Craig, thank you once again for sharing. Your posts mean a lot to all of us. You are a kind and compassionate friend and you don't realize how important you are to so many people. You will be in my prayers. Jean0 -
New to board you are amazingSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
Thank you for your amazing posts. Laura0 -
Surgery
Your feelings are surely understandable. So sorry that you are in pain right now, but hopefully after the surgery and healing that pain will be gone. Thinking about you always and wishing you the best for your upcoming surgery.
Kim0 -
Criag:
George and I wish you nothing but the best outcome with your upcoming surgery. Knowing what is ahead, and what you experienced the first time with surgery and recovery, must be driving you crazy. Hopefully recovery and pain management will be easier than last time.
Take care and know we are thinking of you.
Tina0 -
Thank you CraigSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
for your thoughts feelings and willingness to put them out there. I share many of the same.
all the best, Leslie
who is watching and waiting too0 -
You always impress meSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
with your grit and truthfulness. Prayers and thoughts with you through the next phase of your journey and can't wait to hear about it. Pat0 -
Craig,Sundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
I am glad you are
Craig,
I am glad you are "right as rain". I can understand your aprehension, but I know you will come through with flying colours + another chapter (or two!) for your book. I have been thinking of you, knowing you are preparing for this + will continue to do so. Thanks for letting us know how you are doing.0 -
CraigSundanceh said:I Am "As "Right as the Rain"
Hi there, dear Mary:)
It was very sweet of you to open a post wondering how I was doing – so very thoughtful of you to do for me. I thank you.
Yes, the calendar is slipping away from me now – the days are beginning to run together – 14 days away now and coming quickly. Too quickly, LOL:)
I’ve been focused on trying to wrap up my projects here at work and also trying to get as much in order and as much work at home as I can, with the days that are provided to me. I’ve found that it’s hard to cram 6-years of living into just 6-weeks, LOL:)
Emotionally?
Hmm, I’m still sorting through all of those feelings – they are not ones of pity or feeling sorry for myself, rather they are of the knowing of what I’m up against and must face head-on to overcome this latest obstacle in my path.
I get a little mad some days when I think of what they will put me through and how hard I will have to fight to get back home and try and continue the recovery from there and try to get back to work. I certainly don’t feel close to 100% from my last go-round with the robot.
I get a little sad some days when I think of having to walk away from everything and start back over yet again. It’s sort of like climbing and clawing to the top of the hill, only to lose a grip on the edge, and roll back down the hill again.
I get sad thinking of what Kim and Harley will have to put up with and handle while I’m incapacitated. But mostly, I try to stay positive and upbeat and just be the person that I’ve been evolving to become. I still smile and joke still and look for the upside of the equation where I can.
I’ve been in a very introspective and reflective period these days, as some of my posts have suggested. I’ve been in deep examination of myself, all of us here, and the trials of our lives with and without cancer, and how we each, collectively and individually, handle what is put before us on any given day.
When surgery looms near, it stirs up my innermost feelings and I feel the need to express myself, while I still have the time to do so.
Like a drowning man, gasping for air, I try to express and articulate what I am feeling and thinking during not only mine, but everyone else’s moments of trials, in the hopes that my words will become something that people will remember Craig for – like something I would say has importance or will leave a memory of who I am and what I stand for. Some record of fact that I existed, that I was here – that I matter.
Sort of like writing a note and putting it in a bottle, and casting it into the sea, in hopes that someone will read it. And I suppose it’s partly about being remembered and not being forgotten…does any of that make any sense?
My work projects at home are coming to a close, because time is simply running out. I want to spend as much time as I can over the next 2 weeks, just letting life happen and letting my feelings and emotions just come to me on their own. That way I can acknowledge them, experience them, embrace them and use them for the motivation I will need to handle this surgery. I’m going to try hard and relax some – it’s a skill that I’ve forgotten how to do anymore, it seems, as time has gone on.
In all honesty, Mary, I am concerned and apprehensive about this surgery. I think what it boils down to, for me, is what will be the impact with a 2nd lung surgery so close to the last one. I worry that this “battle” will be the one that cripples me and knocks the inspiration right out of me, as I struggle to catch my breath, and try to hold on to my job and my life.
Over the past month or so, I’ve been in some good pain in my back in the area where I had surgery and where the new tumor lies. It’s hard to sleep, lay down, sit down, or even stand. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that it brings tears to my eyes – and not the usually sappy, emotional ones that I’m known for – but real pain that forces you to grimace and tear up. But, I am dealing with it the best I know how.
Of course, I’m resolved to step right back into this fight and give it all that I’ve got – I’m sure I still have plenty left in the tank, LOL:) By the time July 8th gets here, I will be where I need to be to handle the surgery and its aftershocks.
As an old vet, I’ve set the bar high for myself, and people look to me to handle these situations with aplomb (coolness and composure under strain). And I’m not the sort of person that likes to let anyone down. I could certainly never let any of you down.
I think that going into Year 6, that I’m just tired of all of it – want it to stop – want it to end. I hope this surgery is the last for awhile and that we get all of the tumor this time. I’m not too sure of how many more of these lung jobs I can take, LOL:) They take your breath away:)
And I always look to the board for inspiration – I can’t feel too low about my situation when I see some of our folks who have left us this year, or see how JR and Peter are handling their situations, with what they are facing – just makes me feel like I need to be quiet and just do it – these guys are the real heroes and I’ve got nothing on them. I find it hard to think of myself, when I see so many in our family hurting, facing end of life issues, and in worse shape than me. I’ve just got no reason to complain.
Well, Mary, this is probably more than you bargained for when you opened this post, LOL:)
But you know that I’m like a box of chocolates – “You never know whatcha gonna’ get”
I wanted to thank you again for caring about me and for opening this post inquiring about how I was doing – I’m doing the “easy ones twice BTW”
It has been a pleasure getting to know you these past few months – I would just like to hug you right now and all of our family here – and say thank you for all that you have been to me.
“Fight – Fight – Fight” is just what I will do, Mary.
-Craig
Wow, reading your post has brought tears to my eyes. It has taken me down memory lane to the last days before my sister passed away. She told my father, I want to be remembered more than just at holidays and birthdays and of course, hearing that just broke my heart. But my heart breaks for all of you on this board fighting this horrible disease. And my heart broke so many times along the journey with my sister.
What I can tell you is this. I think of you every day. I visit this board every day and while I may not post every day, I look forward to reading the posts and making sure my cyber colon family is ok. I look for posts from you, read them, and am thankful you are here. It keeps me somehow connected you know?
You have defied the odds. Six years! Incredible. And I believe it was you that told me, quitting would be like running a race and quitting when you are almost at the finish line. Nope, that is not you.
Keep fighting! Do not give up. When you think you can't take it any more, reach out to us. We will help carry you through this journey. And I mean that with all my heart.
Marie0
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