My second PSA test is tomorrow…

I am sure many of in the days leading up to our PSA test our thoughts flow like a river….We all have a tale to tell and some of us are better or worse off than others but in the end we all share a common disease and a common goal and that is to keep the beast at bay.

I have been dealing with the knowledge of the beast since November 09 and tomorrow it will be 15 weeks since surgery and my second PSA test (the first one ZERO!!!!)…In my pathology report (only guys with surgery get) the not so good elements of the report are:

Gleason Score
Primary + Secondary: 4+3=7
Tertiary: Pattern 5

Location Main Tumor: Prostatic Base
Location Additional Tumor Nodules: Left Apex, Right Apex, Right Mid, Left Mid, and Left Base

Extraprostatic Extension
Established (Extensive): Present and Extensive

Margins
Positive, right mid Prostate

Seminal Vesicles: Positive for Carcinoma
Location, If Involved: Right Seminal Vesicles

Perineural Invasion: Present

Tumor Volume Approximately 18%
Tumor (T): pT3b


And I got a ZERO on my first PSA test about 11 weeks ago. Will I get one on the PSA test I get tomorrow? I could be one of the lucky ones from a statistical standpoint and just die of old age or based on probabilities of percentage in my statistics everything will go wrong…My point here we have no control and like Alfred E. Newman "What me worry?"

The first thing my Oncologist told me with my pathology report was to “start living”….For sure you need to appreciate life each day and for me this have been a struggle some days as I have been out of work for 2 years (2 year anniversary was June 9th), lost $millions in the stock market crash and since I have been diagnosed with cancer 7+ months ago I am always 30 days from losing every material thing I have….yet each day I thank G*d for my many blessings and life that day…

It is truly funny or interesting what becomes important in life…hey a job and my $$ back would be great but for whatever reasons I just keep getting hit over the head with a “baseball bat”…My spiritual adviser (my priest) tells me I died many months ago and became someone else for the better…Hey you know, sunrises and sunsets look different, my flowers in the garden smell different, I have more patience with some and far less with others….Yes life has changed…Like Sonny says "everyday is a bonus"....

Best to all in your journey