Diagnosed and Surgery 3 weeks ago need advice

Hi I am more here for my husband but he isn't as into computers as I am. He was diagnosed with having colorectal cancer May 21st they did not feel there was time to try and shrink so he went from his coloscopy to surgery. We haven't really had time to let this soak in and have sooooo many questions. Things are moving so fast yet when things slow down a little we just want to soak in the peaceful moments. We just celebrated 16yrs of marriage end of April so this has definitely rocked our world.

His is a T3 N0 M0 Stage 2. A spot was found on his left lung but is very small so they are just watching it. He isn't a smoker or drinker is very active etc so guess it is just one of those things. It had broken the bowel wall into the fatty tissue so both radiation and chemo is being suggested. They took out over half his rectum and 6" of his colon I believe it was. No colostomy but I was told there was pretty much nothing left but the pelvis. He barely got out I guess w/o one. At one point I was called and told he was 1/2 was thru the rectum and he hadn't found good tissue yet ...from somewhere I found myself saying that wasn't acceptable... you know like he had a choice...lol. BUT he kept going and surgery ended up 4 1/2 hrs long but he found an area to reconnect.

He was at hospital 6 days after surgery. Released to home on oxycodone of which he hasn't needed any in about 2 weeks now. He was released May 27th, back in June 5th for diarrhea and vomiting they gave him flagyl as they thought infection and had seen small obstruction on xrays sent home June 6th listed as dehydration. Things started coming along fine and the last two days have been awesome! Last night around 11 p.m. he started having severe cramps out of no where. So called on call surgeon and he said could be constipation just have to learn to roll the roller coaster if he wasn't better by Monday bring him to the office or if worsens ER. Well by 1 a.m. nothing was letting up and he had a couple times with diarrhea and thinking back to last weekend on some levels is in much worse pain he described to be about an 8/9 on the 10 scale and he has a high pain tolerance. They ran tests xrays etc started iv, put him on oxygen as his levels were low, temp was 69.9 and started morphine for pain and some nausea meds. How many more times can we expect unexpected trips like this?? xrays show an obstruction -today they said it can be mechanical or physical blockage. He is now on a morphine drip where he controls how much he gets. 1mg per 10 mins as needed. They are kinda waiting it out and keeping him comfortable to see if anything breaks up before going further.

He is to begin radiation and chemo in 3...ish weeks depending. He has no trust or like for the radiology dr. and others we have spoken do not like him either they say he doesn't seem to have any compassion. He did not tell us everything and a few of my husbands very specific questions were danced around and not answered. One being a very touchy "guy" subject about his "equipment" still working since radiation will be in the general area of the prostate he is very concerned. the dr. also didn't tell us the ct scans showed a spot on his left lung...we found that out yesterday from the chemo dr. Whom was much more forthcoming and helpful and seemed to really care.

I am so very happy to have stumbled across this site. Hope to learn lots during this time. We have 3 children 2 daughters 15 and 12 and a 10 yr old son whom is high functioning aspergers...a form of autism. Very high on the spectrum but there non the less. He is most stressed out from all this and so I have him to contend to as well.

Did anyone here do 2nd opinions? We are considering looking into a cancer center 2hrs from here which our naturopath referred us to. He said where my husband got the best surgeon he could have gotten the cancer center here leaves something to be desired.

I am trying to read thru some of the stories here but so hard to soak it all in yet and we have many questions from long term side affects from treatment and short term? Where the dr.s have said I think it would help more to hear from other patients. I mean he just a couple days turned 51 so he is looking at quantity vs quality. Is there anyone here that regrets having gone thru treatments...did the end results out weight the cons?? I realize this is going to be different for everyone just looking for feedback. I am so scared and have tried so to stay positive but with every knock down block wall we hit the harder that gets. Trying to take care of the kids, dogs, horses him etc it is starting to weigh on me and I do talk to friends and such and it helps but I know they don't fully know what we are going thru. I know from being on their side of yes I felt bad for those that discovered they had cancer but now that we are going thru it...the feelings are much different now being here face to face. The commercials on tv, certain songs etc hit very different emotions now than ever before.

Anyhow any input you may be able to offer it would be much appreciated.