After midnight

SuzyQ67
SuzyQ67 Member Posts: 31
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
this seems to be the only time I have to myself. I feel like it's a bad dream. My mom has MD, pretty bad, and now after surviving colon cancer 6 years ago- my father now has lung caner. And it was a horribly botched delayed diagnosis. So...he was in denial...now reality hits. He is a tough character. Very curt, no manners, very old school. Almost blunt, & rude at times. We're are used to his "charm" but exposing him to the people at the canncer center has been trying to say the least. I read about people seeking a doctor or facililty and he's at one of the top ones in the country. And he wants to fight it. I'm tired. And I have a medical condition keeping me from work . It may be a permanant condition. So...between running with him to the center, me sucking up the pain till we get back, oh- living with my parents . that is hard watching them deal with this personally. instead of like my brother just calling a few times a week.
I feel like a schmuck sometimes getting frustrated. I have to make sure I go & listen because dad will literally tune out anything he doesn't understand- or like the sound of. But feels thats my job to retain & fill him in on.
I have a home of my own- I'm trying to remodel it for sale- ( my boyfriend is) so I can save $ and stay on here to help my mom. If my dad recovers I just want to run so fast.... to my own life. But I don't even know what that is anymore. My old neighbors both hate me because I'm selling the house, and they can't pick or choose who lives there. I was quite, and too nice. The one guy made me cry today because they said I used my boyfriend to do "free" work on my house and I never come around. I explained that since he was so darn worried about my life he would need to know I was busy taking my terminally ill father to rad & chemo every day- and my mom was disabled, so I hope your happy now that you know my life story- & hope you feel better. It still doesn't make up for them talking about me to the neighborhood. Why are people so cruel. I see such hope at the Cancer Center, and these people are so strong and kind. And then I come back and get smacked in the face by reality trash neighbors. Sorry I put up a fence to keep your dog out of my yard to re-seed it, since your dog dug it up & you can't scoop poo. Then you run to the guy on the other side to complain, and he tosses garbage over into my yard. ( we have wooded properties)
I feel like everything is going wrong at once- and I try to believe God gives us challenges to make us stronger. But I'm feeling lost.

Q

Comments

  • faith316
    faith316 Member Posts: 25
    #2
    Lost
    I am so sorry you have these challenges in your path. Please know that our God is a good and merciful God. Only He knows the plan for our lives here on His earth. I know, like you, our challenges will make us stronger. But He gave us a free will and there are ugly people in the world who choose to throw their ugliness our way. As difficult as things may be, try to focus on the good that God will show you through your journey. Like those kind and strong people who cross your path at the Cancer Center and the wonderful men and women on this site that bring encouraging words in your time of need. Take care of yourself as best you can and know that there are people who care about you and your family. God's peace.
  • SuzyQ67
    SuzyQ67 Member Posts: 31
    #3
    faith316 said:

    Lost
    I am so sorry you have these challenges in your path. Please know that our God is a good and merciful God. Only He knows the plan for our lives here on His earth. I know, like you, our challenges will make us stronger. But He gave us a free will and there are ugly people in the world who choose to throw their ugliness our way. As difficult as things may be, try to focus on the good that God will show you through your journey. Like those kind and strong people who cross your path at the Cancer Center and the wonderful men and women on this site that bring encouraging words in your time of need. Take care of yourself as best you can and know that there are people who care about you and your family. God's peace.

    bless you faith316
    I really needed the positive pick me up. I try so hard never to doubt things, but this is really tough. We got great news for once today. My dad's lung has opened up some, which means the treatments are working and that tumor is shrinking. God is good.
    Thank you again for getting me back on path with your positive words.
  • faith316
    faith316 Member Posts: 25
    #4
    SuzyQ67 said:

    bless you faith316
    I really needed the positive pick me up. I try so hard never to doubt things, but this is really tough. We got great news for once today. My dad's lung has opened up some, which means the treatments are working and that tumor is shrinking. God is good.
    Thank you again for getting me back on path with your positive words.

    Great News
    I was so glad to see you had some positive news regarding your Dad. It is very difficult to keep doubt from creeping into our hearts and minds but keep the faith and you will be victorious.

    God's peace.

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